Sep 21, 2009 | Budget Planning, Family Parties, Parties and Special Events, wedding planning, Weddings
Everyone trusts the vendors when there is no funny business. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
If you have looked recently at the page on my website that deals with Money Matters, you might have noticed at the bottom that I have my integrity pledge there. In case you’re not familiar with how this scheme I mention works, let me lay it out for you here.
When I first hung out my (virtual) shingle as an event planner, vendors started getting in touch with me. They wanted me to refer my clients to them, and for the privilege, they were willing to pay me–in hard, cold cash–an amount equivalent to 10% of what my clients paid them for their work. I understand that this can be quite a good revenue stream for an event planner, but I am not willing to sell out for the cash. I always insist that the vendor give my client the equivalent discount, instead. It costs the vendor the same amount and it allows me to offer my clients a little bonus.
Taking the commission (as they call it) has several drawbacks. I work for the person who is paying me. If I were to take both a fee from a client and a payment from a vendor, then I would have two masters with conflicting interests. I would lose the ability to help my client stay within their budget, since my own personal interest would be for them to spend more. I also might be tempted to refer clients to the vendor who offers me the largest percentage, rather than the vendor who does the best work or gives the best value for money.
I heard a very telling story from a woman I know who makes and sells eco-friendly event invitations. She told me that she had been taking her wares around to various event planners. She was discussing the commission amount with one planner. The planner pointed to a wall of invitation sample books and told her that those vendors all offered her a much higher commission. She clearly expected that this woman would offer her more. And that is a situation that can lead to bidding wars, which can not be good for the planner’s clients.
When I first started out as a planner, I was pretty sure I would never take these kickbacks from vendors. But the thing that really gave me the resolve came from a very unexpected place. I took a taxi home from the very first wedding I ever planned and coordinated. The cab driver was an older gentleman, and we chatted on the way home. Of course he asked me what I do and where I was coming from. When I told him that I am a wedding planner, the first thing he said was, “You don’t take those payments from the vendors, do you?” I assured him that I do not take them. And I have never been tempted to go back on my word.
Sep 13, 2009 | Parties and Special Events
Here’s one of my favorite event stories, ever:
There were roses everywhere.
On a Monday afternoon, I got a call from a business man from the East Coast. He was coming to Chicago to take a lady out on a date, and he wanted to do something amazing, something unheard-of. He suggested a yacht, private dinner in a gorgeous location, a helicopter tour, private entertainment. It all had to be first class, exceptional, and, as he put it, “over the top.” Money was no object, he said. Oh, and this date was to be a week from that Wednesday. I had another event to work on for a few days, so in less than a week, and with the invaluable assistance of the events staff there, I was able to put together for him a private, candlelit dinner for two in the Sky Theatre at the Adler Planetarium, with skyline views of the city projected on the dome and a private sky show after dinner. A string quartet played after a black, stretch limousine brought the guests to dinner. There were flowers everywhere, and the dining table looked like a Victorian valentine. Afterwards, he said that everything was “spectacular.”
Sep 1, 2009 | Day-of Coordinating, Weddings
One thing comes with me to just about every event I do: my emergency bag. I have a very sturdy canvas gardening bag with many pockets and pouches that contains lots of things that I might need at a wedding or other event where I am working. The contents of the bag change from time to time as I add or remove items, but the basic things it contains remain. Because I was a good Girl Scout, I try to be prepared for every emergency, and so my bag contains these things:
* An ace bandage, alcohol swabs, antibacterial ointment, bandages, an ice pack, and other things that might be needed for first aid. Fortunately, these things see very little use, but I always want to have them on hand.
* Bobby pins, a comb, a cuticle stick, dental floss, tissues, hand lotion, mouthwash, a nail clipper, an emery board, toothpaste, and similar personal care items.
* An eyeglass fixing kit, hot glue and a hot glue gun, a stapler, rubber bands, safety pins, a sewing kit, and velcro. These are the things I reach for the most often. There always seems to be one groomsman who loses a jacket button–if it isn’t the groom.
* Insect repellent, sunscreen, matches, a lint brush, pantyhose, and black socks.
The florist brought plenty of pins. But what if he hadn't? Photo by Happy Buddy PhotoArt.
* Aisle runner pins, wide white ribbon, corsage pins, and white chalk.
* And twenty kinds of tape. This is probably my favorite thing in the bag. Someone always asks, “Lisa, do you have any tape?” It comes in handy for so many things, and I have just about any kind you might need.
There are a few more things I would like to add to my stash to make sure I am prepared for everything. Don’t worry, though: If there is an emergency, I’ll come up with a solution whether I have that one item in my bag or not.
Aug 25, 2009 | Eco-Friendly Events, Parties and Special Events, vendors, wedding planning
Today I start a new series here on vendors I know and like. I’ll do an occasional profile of a vendor I have worked with to give you an idea of whether you might like to work with them, too. Today’s special guest is Dave Esau of Dave’s Specialty Foods in Mount Prospect, IL.
Dave Esau, courtesy of his website.
When you walk into Dave’s shop on West Prospect Ave., the eclectic decor and selection of local cheeses don’t tell you that you have stumbled on a French-trained chef who takes extraordinary care to select the best ingredients and prepare them as well as it is possible to do. But when you go to a tasting there, there is no doubt that you have found one of the best chefs in the area.
Recently, I took a client to Dave’s for a tasting. She had lined up a tasting with another caterer later that same day. Dave brought out a superb, tender chicken dish with a balsamic vinegar sauce and some stunning vegetables. He followed that up with just-sweet-enough desserts. He always gives potential clients the soft sell with his trademark cheerful attitude. The next day I heard from my client: She had cancelled her later tasting and decided to hire Dave. She knew (and I can confirm) that she wouldn’t find a better fit anywhere.
The other thing I really like about Dave is his commitment to local, organic, and sustainable food. This is not just an abstraction: It really shows in the quality of the food he serves. Quality, however, does not translate to outrageous price. I am always pleasantly surprised at how much you get for the reasonable prices he charges.
So, when you’re looking for a caterer, include Dave Esau on your list. He is located in the suburbs, but he works all over the Chicago area. It’s definitely worth the trip to his little shop by the train tracks to taste his food!
Aug 18, 2009 | Budget Planning, wedding planning, Weddings
The bride's friends made the centerpieces for this wedding.
A friend of mine who recently got married told me something she learned in the course of planning her wedding. For some reason or another, she was talking to a lawyer who specializes in divorce (having nothing to do with her wedding, of course!) They were discussing the size of her wedding budget, which I understand was quite modest, since she works as a free-lancer and her husband is a graduate student. This lawyer told her that he had noticed an interesting correlation in the course of his work. According to him, the larger the wedding budget is, the shorter the marriage is likely to be. I can’t account for this surprising parallel, but I can say this: If you are planning a wedding on a small budget, you can at least console yourself that, statistically speaking, your marriage is more likely to be a lasting one.
Aug 10, 2009 | Day-of Coordinating, Weddings
The cake, along with all the white lights I strung.
Last Saturday, I was the coordinator for a wedding, and it was one of those days when everything goes perfectly. That’s not to say that there were no challenges, but everyone rose to meet them.
The biggest hurdle we had to overcome was the weather. The wedding was at Architectural Artifacts/Atrium Events on the north side of Chicago. It’s a wonderful space and I look forward to working there again. The one and only drawback to the place is that it has no air conditioning. And Saturday was the first day this summer when the weather was over ninety degrees!
The ceremony was outdoors in the courtyard where the weather was bearable. The reception was on the lower level that had stayed cooler than the rest of the space. The caterer had also made sure to bring extra fans to keep the air moving at the tables and on the dance floor. Only the cocktail hour was indoors on the upper level where it was rather hot and crowded. The caterer, the photographer, and I all coordinated our activities so we could open up the lower level as early as possible to let people get out of the heat. (I thought the bride’s godmother was going to melt!)
The band started playing at 9:00, and the lead singer invited people onto the dance floor this way: She said, “As long as you are already sweating, you might as well be dancing.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. The guests took her advice, too.
But there was more to this wedding than just overcoming the challenges brought on by the weather. The lovely young couple had done an exceptional job planning their entire wedding day. They really thought through the details. In fact, I was still getting e-mails from the bride the day before with just “one more thing” she had thought of. She was a little apologetic until I told her that I’d rather she told me those things in advance, rather than waiting until half an hour before the ceremony. Knowing what they really needed, I was able to take care of all the little details that made the day special for them.
And because they had planned so thoroughly (and hired people who knew how to execute the plan), everything went perfectly. They had a lovely, personal ceremony followed by a terrific reception with food and drink, cake, flowers, meaningful toasts, and dancing to a very fun dance band.
Aug 6, 2009 | Day-of Coordinating, Weddings
The journey was half the fun. Photo courtesy of Artisan Events, Inc.
I began doing events before I started this blog, so here is a story from a past wedding:
The wedding guests were staying at a hotel on the Gold Coast. The wedding was at a synagogue in Highland Park. The reception was at a lovely little French restaurant in Bucktown. The first thing the marrying couple asked for help with was transportation. I chartered a bus for 25 guests and found a reasonably priced limousine for the couple. After setting up for the reception at the restaurant, I was responsible for making sure that all the guests who wanted to be on the bus were there before it left. I also loaded the snacks and bottled water onto the bus and distributed the snacks on the bus. We all rode the bus together up Sheridan Road, all the way to Highland Park, and then back into the city for the reception. It was a lot of miles logged for the guests, but their hosts were very considerate to charter a bus for them. The party was on wheels! I was most privileged to have helped this couple, not only with transportation but also with finding a terrific florist and various other things that made their lives easier and their wedding perfect.
Aug 3, 2009 | Budget Planning, Day-of Coordinating, etiquette, wedding planning, Weddings
"Shall we tip the limo driver?" Photo by Happy Buddy PhotoArt.
I get asked sometimes about tipping wedding or party vendors. Now, I’m not an etiquette expert, but here is what I know. My rule of thumb is that it is never wrong to tip someone if they have provided you with exceptional service. If someone goes above and beyond the call of duty, you will never be wrong to show your appreciation in a tangible way. For most vendors, however, tipping is still optional.
There are some exceptions to that last rule, however. Food servers, hair stylists, and drivers are some of the people whom it is customary to tip. Your catering contract probably includes a gratuity. If so, then you have already tipped the staff. If you want to show further appreciation, you may, but it is not necessary.
If your stylist or limo driver is also the owner of the company, then it is not customary to tip, because they already have the full benefit of the payment you are making. I heard recently about a hair stylist who works for herself. She was going to charge $150 for a simple updo and then wanted an 18% tip on top of that. I recommended to the bride-to-be that she find a different stylist, as in that case the tip is a form of highway robbery.
I understand that it is also not customary to tip musicians. But the first rule still applies: Anyone who gives exceptional service might merit a reward. But don’t stress over tips. Most independent contractors don’t expect them and they are a very pleasant surprise if you do give one.
Jul 25, 2009 | Eco-Friendly Events, Weddings
I ran across this blog post and thought it was of interest: http://greenfloristchicago.com/green-wedding-tip-3/. Turns out there is a lot to think about when planning an eco-friendly wedding. By the way, I second the author’s comment about vintage jewelry. There is nothing quite as special as wearing an heirloom ring.
Wedding rings. Photo by MWD Photography.
Jul 19, 2009 | wedding planning
This bride asked only her sisters to be her bridesmaids--a wise choice! Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
In addition to the stories I know about dealing with parents and fiancés, I have heard some horror stories about bridesmaids, too. A wedding is a good time to think very hard about your friendships. When you ask someone to be a bridesmaid, you are pretty much asking for her life-long friendship. You are also asking them to do quite a bit of work and to shell out a lot of money for you. A good rule of thumb is to ask people to be in your wedding if they are close family, friends of the family, or people you have been close to for a long time. Someone you have known for a year or two may or may not turn out to be bridesmaid material. It is better to be safe than to be sorry. Wanting to have a big bridal party is not a good reason to ask someone. Ask yourself: Who are you close to? Who do you trust? Who would you do anything for? Would they do anything for you in return? Who do you think you will be close to in your married life? Those are the people you want around you on such an important occasion.
Also, discuss with your wedding party your expectations for them. Don’t assume that they know what you want. Make sure they know what they are getting into before they agree, including a specific discussion of who will pay for what and how much it will cost. This will save many headaches later.
If you make an effort to deal well with your parents, your fiancé, your friends and your family, you will have lots of help with your planning and a minimum of conflict.
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