It’s Wedding Season Again!

Well, it’s officially wedding season, because recently I had my first on-site, live, in-person wedding since October 2019.  And it was a fantastic way to get back to planning weddings.

This was a small, low-key backyard celebration at the groom’s parents’ home.  The couple wanted a non-traditional and eco-friendly wedding, and that was exactly what I was able to help them have.  They brought in everything they needed so guests could be outdoors and comfortable.  We had tents, upscale portable restrooms, a composting service, a pizza truck, a mobile bar service–and puppies!

“Wait, did you say puppies?”  Yes, puppies.  The couple and their families all love dogs.  Being from out of state, these two couldn’t bring their own dogs with them.  But it didn’t seem right to them to get married without any dogs present.  They got in touch with the local humane society, who had three beagle mix pups they could bring.  It was great!  The puppies got much-needed socialization time during cocktail hour, the guests (especially the kids) got to play with puppies, and the humane society got a nice donation.

As my first pandemic wedding, it was educational for me–and quite safe.  It goes to show that you can follow all health department guidelines and still get married and have a good time.  Here are a few photos I took.

A clear-top, clear-side tent in a back yard , with garden and trees in the foreground and trees in the background.

Indestructo provided their usual high-quality tents for the wedding.

A restroom trailer on a driveway, with a branch of a blooming redbud tree across the front of it. a

Restrooms are not glamorous, but the fancy restroom trailer from Crown Restrooms almost makes the cut!

A wooden bar being set up, with bottles of wine and a lighted sign reading "Bar." Two coolers sit next to the bar. Photos are strung on a line behind the bar.

If you want glamorous, CLaS Mobile Bar definitely fits the description!

A trailer with a chimney and tables set up in front. People work behind the tables. Signs reading "Crust Culture" are visible on the fronts of the tables.

The Crust Culture pizza truck is a pretty amazing set-up.

Platters of appetizers on a table. Next to the food are stacks of square bamboo plates, a container of bamboo forks, and a stack of paper napkins.

Crust Culture also did a nice appetizer buffet. Note the compostable dishes. The bar service also brought compostable cups, and so there was almost zero waste at this wedding!

A couple in matching rainbow and denim outfits (with matching rainbow masks) pet a small black puppy held by a person wearing all black.

And there were puppies! The couple were the first people to greet the pups as they came out from their carrier.

A large bag of dog food, with a bowl of dog food in front of it. To their left are appetizers for people.

There were snacks for the puppies, too.

A frosted cake on a silver background. The cake is in the shape of the letters A and L. It is decorated with sugar photos of a couple, wooden rings, the names of the couple, and the date, along with piped icing and sprinkles.

The groom’s mother baked this gorgeous cake for them, and decorated it with sugar photos of the couple.

I hope to be able to share the professional photographer’s images with you at some future time, because this was a really fun wedding, and I’m sure she captured it much better than I could.

Peering Cautiously Out

A woman in a strapless white dress (with a black belt) seated in a plush orange chair peers over the top of her bouquet of brightly colored Gerber daisies.

Do you feel like this sometimes? Photo by Paul Grigonis, pplusgphoto.com

It’s springtime in Chicago–in more ways than one.  Not only is the weather warming, but we seem to be getting ready to return to some kinds of in-person life with people outside of our own households.  I won’t say that we’re returning to “normal,” but perhaps it will be possible to have a social life again.

I know I’ve been getting a lot more inquiries about wedding planning lately.  And I have my first in-person, COVID-safe, tiny wedding coming up in less than two weeks.  That will be the first time I’ve planned and managed a wedding in over a year and a half.  (Don’t worry:  I haven’t forgotten how to do it!)

With the state and the City of Chicago announcing plans for dropping capacity limits by mid-summer, it feels like the end of a very long winter.  Of course, I’m from Chicago, and I know that the weather is fickle, so I’m assuming that we’re still going to have one more (metaphorical) ice storm, and the re-opening plan won’t go as smoothly as currently predicted.  Also, my personal prediction is that the mask mandate will likely be in place for far longer than anyone currently expects.  Even so, it’s nice to contemplate a foreseeable future when we should be able to gather safely in person, celebrate, and have a good time.

New Year. New Beginnings?

Celebratory wedding party

We could all use some celebration, right? Photo by Geneve Boyett Photography.

Well, it’s 2021.  Not much has changed here, except for the calendar rolling over.  But I’m still here and waiting for some long-expected changes so that we can go back to having social events.

Yes, I’m still in business.  I’ve been hunkered down for almost a year, but I’ll be more than ready to get back to work when it is safe and legal to do so.

In the meantime, I’ve been very busily learning everything I can about how to have safe events under the current circumstances.  I’ve joined the Event Safety Alliance, in order to have access to all of their terrific information.  And I spend some time almost every day learning from all sources about best practices and how to implement them.

There’s still a lot of hunkering to do before we see the light at the end of the very long tunnel we’ve been in, but I hope to see people’s actual faces sometime this year.  And maybe there will be a few celebrations.  I know we’re all ready for some.

If you are thinking about 2021 or 2022 celebrations, feel free to get in touch with me so we can talk about your plans.

More on Phase 4 Weddings

A long table, seen from the end, dressed in white linens with silver chargers at each place setting and a few flowers and candles down the length of it.

This table has insufficient distance between the guests, but it’s about as large a crowd as you can count on right now.

My last post was all the reasons why I recommend against having a wedding celebration right now. I’ve even racked up a few new reasons since then. But I realize that not everyone is going to take my advice. If you are going ahead with your planning, here are some things I think you should think about.

As I said last time, if you’re planning a wedding under the current conditions, it’s going to require some extra work. But it’s not entirely impossible. There are things you can do if you are serious about keeping everyone safe at your pandemic wedding. If you’re the host of the party, it is up to you to set the expectations for the behavior of your guests. You can communicate your expectations to your guests in your invitations, on your wedding website, and with follow-up communications to everyone.

It doesn’t have to be deadly serious, either. Keep it light by reminding everyone that the theme of your wedding is Safety First or Love at a Distance. You can probably come up with something a lot cuter than I can right now. Just be sure that whatever you say, you repeat it a lot so that everyone knows that you’re in earnest and they can’t laugh it off. You also have to be the first ones to practice what you preach, no exceptions. (Does this sound hard? It is.)

If you want your guests to wear masks, then supply them with masks, and be prepared to wear them, yourselves. Put your names and wedding date on them. Get them to match your décor. Give out prizes for dedicated mask wearers. Make it easy and fun for your guests to wear masks.

You can also designate someone to be the mask-and-social-distancing monitor. They can make regular announcements to remind everyone of the rules. People are bound to forget to stay distant from people they haven’t seen in a long time. Make sure there is someone there to remind them to back away. It’s not a disaster if people are close to each other for a few minutes, but if they are not reminded, they will forget and stay there for longer than is safe. Again, make sure to keep it light: Give your monitor a sparkly magic wand and have them remind people about the wedding’s theme. Or hand out stickers that say, “I can see your nose!” Once again, you can probably come up with something much better!

The biggest thing to think about as you plan is going to be (oddly enough) the arrangement of the furniture. The locations of tables and chairs is going to be the most important thing that will keep your guests at a safe distance from each other. The ground plan is sometimes created by your caterer, sometimes by the venue, and sometimes by your planner. You’ll have to make sure that all three of those professionals are on the same page regarding safety. If you don’t see furniture spread out in a safe and sensible fashion on the first draft of the ground plan, don’t hesitate to ask for revisions.

Before the wedding, be sure to ask your guests, in all seriousness, to stay home if they are ill, if they have been exposed to someone who is ill, or if they have any question at all about the wisdom of their attendance. Naturally, people will want to be there and they don’t want to disappoint you. It will be up to you to let them know that you would rather they stay home if it is safer. Also, keep in mind that it could be someone very close to you who needs to stay home. Make up your mind now to be prepared for that disappointment. In the long run, it’s just not worth it.

You also might have to be prepared for some of your guests to decline to attend if they don’t believe it is safe for them. Please be understanding and don’t pressure anyone to be there if they believe it would be a bad idea for them.

The other really hard thing to be prepared for is that between now and the day of your wedding, things are very likely to change. Just today, the mayor of Chicago announced some new restrictions on various businesses. So far, it doesn’t affect weddings much (except that make-up services are no longer permitted), but at any time the mayor or the governor could change the rules. You might be planning for 50 guests only to find out that there is a maximum limit of ten guests by the time you arrive at your date.

It’s not all bad news. I recently learned about a very fun option that a local DJ company is providing: They suggest that you have a small wedding ceremony with your closest family and a few friends, have dinner with them, end the in-person celebration there, and then carry on with a virtual dance party  that they can provide for all your friends and relations. This seems like a safe, sensible, and fun option.

I haven’t changed my mind about the wisdom of having parties right now, but if you want to go ahead, please consider all these things as you plan. It is definitely extra work to try to have a safe celebration right now.

Phase 4 Weddings: Just Because You Can, Should You?

A woman in a long, lacy white dress, seen from behind.

Photo by The Still Life Photography

There are definitely legitimate reasons for people to need or want to get married right now, pandemic or no pandemic. And I can’t make that decision for you, either now or in the foreseeable future. All I can do is share with you the pitfalls of pandemic weddings that I am hearing about—and there are quite a few!!

There has been a certain lack of clarity within the wedding industry in Illinois about what is permitted and what is not. Not that the rules aren’t published: They are available right now. But there is a lot of questionable information also being spread around. Here are the basic rules that affect you, your guests, and your vendors:

Capacity restrictions: Venues can host 50 people OR 50% of room capacity—whichever one is the LOWER number. So, if your venue can hold 300 people, then the maximum number of guests is 50. If your venue can hold 50 people, then the maximum guest count is 25. There are no circumstances under which you can have more than 50 people gathering indoors right now.  On the bright side, the capacity number does not include staff, so you don’t have to count servers, bartenders, officiant, photographer, videographer, or planner in your maximum number.

Guest behavior: Guests are required to wear masks unless they are actively eating a meal. Guests who have symptoms of illness should stay home. Everyone should stay at least six feet away from anyone they don’t live with, at all times.

Venue considerations: Signage with the rules for guests should be displayed prominently. People seated at tables still need to be six feet from anyone they don’t live with. You can’t have a dance floor. Entrances, exits, restrooms, coat rooms, and similar congested places need to be considered when finding ways to maintain distance among the guests.

There are also other guidelines in place that govern how food service is handled (especially buffets) and best practices for live performance.

I have to be honest with you: When I look at all the restrictions in place, I think that any event that follows all the rules is not going to resemble our idea of what a wedding should be. And that’s exactly where the list of problems starts: People are desperate for some kind of normal social life and for joyous occasions, even if that means risking their health and the health of everyone around them.

I’ve been hearing the stories from my fellow wedding vendors about the weddings they have worked at in the last few weeks since it became possible again, and I am not encouraged by what I am hearing. Between the aforementioned desperation and any amount of alcohol, it seems that most people stop taking mask-wearing and distancing seriously in no time at all. And this is one of the biggest hurdles to having a safe wedding in these times:  People are not necessarily going to follow the rules that are in place for their protection.

There are other pitfalls on the road to your pandemic wedding. One problem I’ve been hearing a lot about is that venues sometimes claim that you can have more than 50 guests. They generally try to justify it by claiming that the rule is 50% capacity. Venues that are also caterers want to have a larger capacity because that brings in more income for them. Unfortunately, that’s not what the rule says. If you have any questions about the capacity claim your venue is making, I recommend calling the local health department where the venue is located and asking them if the representations being made by the venue are correct. The health department is the final arbiter on this subject and they will be sure to set everyone straight.

Also, for weddings within the city of Chicago, there is now a 14-day quarantine order in place for people coming from locations where virus cases are increasing. If you have guests who live in Alabama, Arkansas, Arizona, California, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, Nevada, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, or Utah (subject to change as events play out), they will need to stay indoors in one location for 14 days upon arrival in Chicago without contact with other people. So, if you want those people to be at your wedding, they will need to arrive two weeks before any festivities begin and not go anywhere once they get here.

So, can you have a wedding in these times? Yes, you can. Is it easy to do? No: It takes a lot of extra work. Is it going to be any fun? The jury is still out on this one. Should you have a 50-guest wedding right now? On balance, I’m going to say that it might not be a good idea, considering how much extra risk and work are involved.

I’ll leave you with this sobering thought: If anyone who is at your wedding (guest, vendor, or you and your spouse) tests positive for the virus within two weeks, everyone who was there is going to get a call from the health department telling them to quarantine for 14 days and get tested for the virus. At best, that is an inconvenience for 60 or so people. At worst, it could mean that many of your closest friends and family members could become ill and some could die. Is that a risk you want to run so that you can have a party? Only you can decide.

But if you were to ask my opinion, this is what I would say: If you want or need to get married right now, then get a marriage license, find an officiant, and have your closest family there (preferably outdoors) with everyone wearing masks and keeping a distance. Don’t have a party. Save the celebration for the happy future when we can once again crowd the dance floor, share a meal, and hug our friends without worrying. That day will come, and it will be worth celebrating.

FAQs about Weddings in Illinois

A wedding couple with a Hindu priest--and no one else.

Tiny weddings mean it’s just you and your officiant (and a handful of guests). Photo courtesy of Artisan Events.

Let me preface this article by emphasizing that I am not a public health expert. Nor am I am epidemiologist or an infectious diseases professional. (If I were, I probably wouldn’t have time to write this right now.) I am a reasonably well-informed human with decent research skills and reasoning ability, and with strong opinions. The following is based on those last three qualities.

At least here in Illinois, we’re still a long way from being able to have large weddings with crowded dance floors. I wish I knew when we’d be back to having fun, but my crystal ball is acting finicky these days. So, let’s talk about what is possible now and what is going to be possible in the near future. Here are a few questions that I have come across.

Can you get married right now in Illinois?  Since late May/early June (depending on whether you’re in the city or anywhere else in the state), weddings have been possible again. Hooray! There can only be ten people in attendance, though, and that includes your officiant, your photographer, your photographer’s assistant, your planner, and the two of you. In other words, if you want to have guests at your wedding, you will have to do some thinking about which professionals you also want to attend. Here’s how I would do it: I would have just the officiant and one photographer. That would mean you could have six guests, for a total of ten people. And, no, you can’t have six guests at one time and another six guests when they leave.

And don’t forget that everyone needs to wear masks and that people from separate households need to stand at least six feet apart. That part doesn’t change, even for a wedding. If I understand the rules correctly, that also means that a shared meal will be out of the question. You can’t eat and drink with a face mask on! And those masks will have to stay on. So, while you may be able to get married, having a reception of any kind is extremely unlikely. Drinking and dancing will have to wait.  But at least there are safe (or safer) ways to hug people!

It’s also not entirely clear that it’s possible to get a marriage license everywhere. In Cook County, it looks as if there is now an online application for a license. Other counties seem to have different requirements, so be sure to check whether you can get a license in the county you’re getting married in.

When will “real” weddings start again? And by “real,” I mean crowds, drinking, dancing, and unlimited fun. This is the million-dollar question. Phase 4 of the state’s re-opening plan is currently on track to begin June 26. Assuming that goes forward, gatherings of up to 50 people will be permitted (including all professionals on site), but “face coverings and social distancing [will be] the norm.”

Phase 2 and Phase 3 look like they are lasting for 28 days each. I’m a little skeptical, though, that Phase 4 will only last for that long. I don’t think we are only two months away from a total return to normal. I could be wrong, but if there isn’t an effective treatment or no new cases for an extended period of time, I don’t believe we’ll be back to normal. (I’m not even thinking about a vaccine at this point. It’s still too early.)

Are outdoor weddings safer than indoor weddings? I have not seen anything definitive on the answer to this question, but from what I am reading, I would give a tentative and qualified yes to it. Please keep in mind that just because you are outdoors does not mean you can relax any of the other rules!! But since good ventilation seems to be one of the keys to keeping the virus from spreading, outdoors is often a better bet than indoors. Of course, that means you have to deal with the weather, but your planner knows a few tent companies who can help you out.

Do you have other questions? You can always contact me, and we can talk!

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