Greetings of the Season!
For those who celebrate holidays right around now, I’d like to offer my best wishes for your holidays. May all your dreams come true!
What’s Another Word for “Bridal”?
There's nothing "bridal" about this wedding. Photo courtesy of Artisan Events, Inc.
There are a lot of ways the word “bridal” is used at weddings. There is the “bridal party” and there is “bridal seclusion” and probably a lot of other bridal things. What if it’s the same-sex wedding of two men? The word doesn’t seem to make any sense, since there is no bride.
Is there another word that works as well? Well, we can say “wedding party” instead of “bridal party.” What if the pair have decided not to see each other until the processional? Is that “pre-nuptial seclusion”? I hope someone comes up with a good word before I do my next same-sex wedding!
Vendors I Know: Swedish Bakery
The cake design from Swedish Bakery echoed the invitation design for the wedding.
I’ve walked by the Swedish Bakery in Andersonville for years, but it was only this past summer that I had the pleasure of working with them on a wedding. I gave my clients the names of several bakeries, and they ended up having tastings at two of them, the second being Swedish Bakery.
I was able to join my clients at the tasting, so I saw first-hand how well the bakery works with clients. Not only were the cake and the frosting delicious (and, according to my clients, much better than the other bakery where they had a tasting), the bakery’s wedding specialist also did a great job helping my clients with the design process.
On the day of the wedding, everything from them went perfectly, too. They delivered on time and with the cake in perfect condition. And it was gorgeous! The cake itself tasted as good as the tasting cake, too. Everyone was happy with it.
You might pass over Swedish Bakery thinking that it’s an ethnic specialty shop, but, in reality, it is a bakery with a wide range of capabilities. Their wedding cakes are delicious and beautiful to look at. What more could you want?
Restaurant Wedding Receptions
There are restaurants that are suitable for wedding receptions. Photo by Johnny Knight.
Of all the places you could have your wedding reception, do you want to choose to have it at a restaurant? There are definitely pros and cons.
Of course, first, whether or not this is a good idea depends on what restaurant you choose. There are some that are very good at this caliber of event. There are some that don’t have the first idea what is required.
It also depends on your expectations. If you are having a quiet luncheon for 15 close family members, many restaurants are capable. If you want a full-blown wedding reception for 150 with a DJ and a dance floor, there are many fewer places that can handle that level of service.
One of the advantages of having your wedding reception at a restaurant is the possibility of saving money. Restaurants are often a less expensive way to cater a large party. They rarely have a room charge, or, if they do, it is nominal. They also provide tables, chairs, linens, dishes, glassware, and silver as part of their package. Because they own all the furniture and serving pieces, you don’t pay a separate rental rate for them.
What you often give up for the price is the high level of service that most wedding caterers provide. In my experience, wedding caterers are more responsive than restaurants. They can also be more flexible. They are accustomed to working with very demanding clients. A restaurant may or may not have those qualities. If you are thinking of having your reception at a restaurant, this would be a good thing to find out before you decide.
I worked on a wedding reception once where the bride didn’t receive any kind of contract or receipt from the restaurant after she made her payment. It was worrisome because she had specific contracts with all the rest of her vendors. The restaurant was completely above board and the reception went off without a hitch. They were just treating her wedding reception the same way they treated all of their reservations. They didn’t see the need for any more paperwork. That is not what you’ll find with a full-service caterer.
So, is it a good idea to have your reception at a restaurant? That’s up to you. I’ve worked at some wonderful restaurant receptions. I’ve also seen some of the drawbacks. Just be sure you know what you’re getting into before you make a commitment.
The Wedding Planner and Emotional Landmines
Every detail requires decisions. Photo by Peter Coombs.
There is nothing like a wedding to bring out emotional reactions from your friends and family. For the most part, these are the happy, joyful emotions you want associated with your engagement and wedding. If only it were always that easy!
Sometimes, in their eagerness to help you or their complete happiness for you, a family member or close friend may start to insist that you “have to” do things at your wedding a certain way. I know many people who have had this experience. It generally comes from a place of love, but it is also not always appropriate.
So, what does this have to do with your wedding planner? One of the things I can do for my clients is help them to navigate through this emotional minefield. One the one hand, you want to maintain relationships with those who are close to you; on the other, you are planning your wedding, not theirs. I can give perspective on the situation and help you with a tactful answer.
For example, a client once had a family member who insisted that corsages had to be provided for the mothers. This demand arose two days before the wedding. I was able to, first, reassure my client that no etiquette expert gives a requirement for any such thing. I also pointed out that the florist had already put in the flower order for the wedding and it would be very difficult for her to produce two more corsages on short notice. With this information in hand, my client was able to explain to the family member why there wouldn’t be corsages. I believe there were no hard feelings and everyone was able to proceed to the wedding day happily.
I’ve had many similar situations, and I’m always happy to help my clients navigate through them. It isn’t always easy and there isn’t only one right answer in any situation. I am here to help figure out what the right answer is.
Vendors I Know: Agnes Malorny
Here's one of my favorite photos from Agnes Malorny.
I haven’t featured a photographer here in quite some time. I’d like to introduce you to a terrific one: Agnes Malorny. I’ve worked with Agnes more than once and had the pleasure of having clients hire her just this past summer on my recommendation.
Naturally, I would not recommend a photographer (or any vendor) unless the quality of her work was outstanding. Agnes’ is always quite lovely. She does equally well with portraits, still shots, and action shots. But I also appreciate her work ethic and attitude. She has always been a pleasure to work with and just to be around.
What Is Full-Service Wedding Planning?
Do you want to decide what the cake looks like? Just tell your planner.
If you want to hire someone to plan your wedding, do you know what that means? What parts of the planning will the professional do and what won’t they do? Who will make the decisions? Every planner has her or his own answers to these questions. Here is how I see it.
When I do full-service planning, I generally take care of all the parts of the wedding and reception, except clothing, jewelry, and invitations. I have found that most couples prefer to do those things themselves. Of course, I can recommend vendors for all of those categories and I am able to help you with them, if you need it. Every couple is unique and I spend a good bit of time in the beginning of the process to discover what they need me to do.
As for decisions, there are two different ways they can be handled. Either my clients can make all the final decisions, or they can tell me which decisions they want to make and which they want me to make. At one extreme, you could tell me that you want me to make all the decisions. I don’t necessarily recommend this course of action, but it is a possibility at one end of the spectrum.
At the other end of the spectrum, I would make recommendations on vendors and so on and let you decide what to do. I’ve worked this way with clients and find that the results are very good. But if there are things you don’t really care about, with a full-service planner you can offload those choices and simplify the process for yourself. The important thing is communicating your wishes to your planner.
Wedding Schedules: Fact or Fiction?
Remember: The schedule is a guide, not a rulebook. Courtesy of sprungphoto.com.
One of the most important things I do for my wedding clients is create a schedule for the day of the wedding. This can start with hair and make-up appointments and go on to photographs, ceremony, reception, and after-party, if need be. Where most people get bogged down is in the reception: How long does it take to serve and eat dinner? What time should the cake be cut? When does the dancing begin? Are the toasts during dinner or before it?
Because I have made up so many wedding and reception schedules, I have a good idea of how long things will take and when they should happen. But I’ll let you in on a little secret: On my version of the reception schedule, I rarely put exact times any more. While wedding ceremonies often start and end more or less on time, and cocktail hours are often just about an hour long, everything else at a reception is not likely to go by the clock. It’s more important (to me) to know that the toasts happen after the salad is served (whatever time that ends up being) and that the bride and groom’s first dance is after dessert (whenever that happens) than the clock time that is on the schedule.
One time, a bride had created a schedule for her wedding day that was precise to the minute about when things should happen. It turned out that the ceremony was ten minutes shorter than had been planned, so the cocktail hour started and ended ten minutes early. When I went to get her for introductions before dinner, she was reluctant to go ahead because it was earlier than the scheduled time. I had to talk her into doing things a few minutes early by reminding her that the guests had not seen the schedule and didn’t know that we were off our timing. I thought it was better to treat the schedule as a guideline (if not an inspired work of fiction) rather than have the guests sitting at their tables for ten minutes waiting for something to happen.
So, do make up a schedule for your wedding day. Do include all the things you want to have happen. But don’t be surprised if it doesn’t all happen at the exact time you thought it would.
Vendors I Know: Cheney Mansion
Cheney Mansion, as featured on their website.
Most of my work tends to be on the north side of the city and in the northern suburbs, so it is a real treat when I get to work in other parts of the metropolis. This summer, I worked with a couple who wanted to get married in Oak Park (which happens to be a favorite place of mine). It was a good excuse for me to get to know better the wonderful event venues there.
The couple ended up choosing Cheney Mansion for their wedding, and I think it was an excellent choice. The mansion is a three-storey house with extensive grounds located very near the heart of the suburb. It is now owned by the Park District of Oak Park.
Because it is a historic home in a residential neighborhood, there are certain restrictions that come with it, but–in my opinion–it is more than worth it. The house itself is beautiful and well maintained. The grounds are gorgeous. The Park District staff who run it are exceptionally helpful and welcoming. If you’re looking for someplace to have a wedding or other special event in the western suburbs, this is definitely one location to check out.
Stress Buster: Cake Wrecks!
Photo by Carasco Photography.
This is a photo of a beautiful, well-made wedding cake. Most wedding cakes are gorgeous and give due credit to the arts of the baker and the decorator. Some, however….
If you’ve never visited Cake Wrecks, save it for a day when you need a laugh. There are a lot of cakes that are not wedding cakes, but I think the wedding cakes are my favorites.
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