Jan 20, 2014 | wedding planning
What if this photo were blocked by the heads of the guests? Courtesy of sprungphoto.com.
I came across this interesting article from a photographer on Huffington Post. I recommend clicking through to the article, as it is a heartfelt plea for couples to encourage their wedding guests to put their cameras down–at least during the ceremony. She posts a number of photos to illustrate her point. Guests can easily ruin a professional photographer’s shots. And if you’re going to spend that much on a wedding photographer, I’m sure you want to get some good photos.
The other point she makes is that if the guests are observing everything through the lens of the camera, they aren’t fully present at your wedding. Take a look at the article and see if you agree.
Jan 13, 2014 | wedding planning
Here's a very traditional arrangement, as the groom and groomsmen wait for the bridal processional, along with the officiant. Photo by Happy Buddy PhotoArt.
If you search the internet for the “correct” wedding processional order, you will probably come away confused. Everyone has an answer and they don’t all agree.
I have found the greatest amount of agreement about the traditional Jewish order. (If in doubt, consult your rabbi.) The one I have found in many places goes like this:
- The rabbi and the cantor
- Grandparents of the bride
- Grandparents of the groom
- Groomsmen in pairs
- Best man
- The groom, escorted by his parents.
- Bridesmaids in pairs
- Maid or matron of honor
- Ring bearer and/or flower girl
- The bride, escorted by her parents
A Christian processional seems to have many more variants. In general, it seems that tradition calls for a processional of bridesmaids (junior bridesmaids first, if there are any), followed by the ring bearer, the flower girl, and the bride with her father or other escort. Sometimes the ushers or groomsmen are in the processional; sometimes they are not.
The one constant in the traditional Christian processional seems to be the groom and the best man entering from the side, rather than as part of the processional. Strangely, I have only seen this happen in practice a few times.
I have yet to see grandparents included in a Christian processional in anyone’s internet list, but I have seen many grandparents included in processionals, both religious and secular.
Secular weddings can choose from any tradition. Here are some of the variants I have seen at actual weddings:
- Parents and grandparents
- Groom and best man
- Groomsmen
- Bridesmaids
- Bride
Here is another:
- Officiant
- Groom
- Groomsmen escorting the mothers
- Junior bridesmaid
- Bridesmaids
- Ring bearer
- Flower girl
- Bride escorted by father
And:
- Usher escorts mother of bride to front row
- Officiant, groom and groomsmen enter from side
- Junior bridesmaid
- Bridesmaids
- Maid of honor
- Bride, escorted by her brother
Every wedding I have worked on or been to as a guest has had its own unique processional. Traditions have been borrowed from other cultures; they have been tossed out; they have been reconfigured to suit individual taste. Officiants often have the final say on processional order, especially at religious ceremonies. But I say that if you have the latitude to do so, you should feel free to rearrange things until you have the processional that suits you.
Jan 6, 2014 | Parties and Special Events, Style, wedding planning
Most events don't require a designer to be beautiful. Photo by Peter Coombs.
When searching for an event, party, or wedding planner, you might find some individuals or firms who come up in the search but are primarily event designers. So, what’s the difference? I had a conversation with an event designer recently about this subject and this is what we came up with:
This event designer said that her specialty was solely designing and creating event decor. Her website also said “event planning,” but she told me that she does not handle scheduling or logistics for events. For those services, she recommends that her clients hire an event planner.
An event planner may also offer design services, but it’s pretty rare that someone has large-scale artistic event design and implementation skills and also has event planner skills. Except for elaborate or large events, most events do not need a designer, but most do need a planner. What are those event planner skills that a designer may lack?
An event planner should be able to envision your entire event from start to finish. She or he should be able to spot problems in the planning stage and solve them before they become real. A planner should have a good grasp of scheduling and spatial layout, with great attention to detail. A planner knows where to get things you need and can recommend other professionals. Finally, the skill you want most in a planner is a calm head on the day of your event so that the unexpected is dealt with swiftly and with good judgment.
Some events require a planner. Some require a designer. And some really need both. It’s important to know what you need–and what you are getting–when you hire professionals to help you with your event.
Dec 2, 2013 | wedding planning
Is this your vision for your bridal party? Image by theblondephotographer.com.
So, you’re planning your wedding and you have to decide how many people are going to stand up with you. How do you make that decision? There’s no right way to decide, as it turns out. It’s always a personal decision.
One of the first things you might want to do, though, is negotiate this with your fiance. If the person you are marrying wants to have a large number and you want a small number, you will have to find a solution to that problem between the two of you. (It’s good practice for being married!) But remember that the rules are flexible. If you want two attendants and your partner wants 17, there is nothing that says you can’t do that. But you both have to be okay with that solution–and you both have to be willing to defend it to others who will object.
There are also practical considerations when choosing a number of attendants: Do you have ways to include your close family and friends if you have a small bridal party? Can you afford the expense associated with a large bridal party (gifts, transportation, etc.)?
In the end, how many attendants–or whether to have any at all–is a very personal decision that is between you and the person you are marrying. There are no wrong answers, but there may be a number of right answers.
Nov 25, 2013 | wedding planning
Photo by Peter Coombs.
Here is something I always tell my clients: If you are planning an outdoor celebration and you have a good, solid rain plan, you won’t need it. But if you don’t have a plan, that’s when the trouble starts. I had this truth illustrated to me again just this summer.
There were two very similar weddings at opposite ends of the summer. Both were small weddings with ceremonies planned for the Shakespeare Garden in Evanston, followed by a reception at the Orrington Hotel.
Next to the Shakespeare Garden is a lovely small chapel. To reserve it costs a couple of hundred dollars. My clients early in the summer decided that they would save the money and just hope that the weather was good on the day of their wedding. That turned out to be a mistake.
The day of the wedding was not only rainy but also cold and windy. Up until the last moment, they hoped to have the ceremony outdoors, but the weather was too bad. This left me calling the hotel catering manager the night before to see if they could accommodate the ceremony somewhere in the hotel. Fortunately, the hotel staff at the Orrington is terrific. They said the ceremony could be on the 9th floor terrace if the weather was good at the ceremony time, or they would find us a place indoors if necessary.
Thirty minutes before the ceremony, the weather still looked threatening. I decided that even if the weather held, it would not be comfortable for the guests to sit out in it wondering all the time if they would be poured on. After I persuaded my clients of this, the catering manager, my assistant, and I had only about 30 minutes to set up the furniture for the ceremony in the wide hallway near the reception room. It actually turned out looking lovely and as if we had planned it that way all along, but it was not the smoothest ceremony set-up I’ve ever seen. And the sky opened up and it poured as the ceremony was starting.
I related this experience to my client later in the summer. She took it to heart. She also did not care to spend the money to rent the chapel, but she did have enough foresight to check with the hotel in advance to reserve a back-up room for an indoor ceremony if it was needed. Sure enough, the weather the day of her wedding was perfect for an outdoor ceremony, and it was held in the garden, as planned.
It never fails: If you have a rain plan, you won’t need it. But watch out if you don’t!
Nov 11, 2013 | Budget Planning, Eco-Friendly Events, wedding planning
This was a very suitable back yard for a wedding reception. Photo by Light on Life Images.
In the last year alone, I have worked on more back yard weddings or receptions that I did in the previous eight years combined. I’m starting to think this may be a trend.
There is a lot to be said for back yard weddings. There are also some cautions to keep in mind. Here is what I know.
If you or your parents or someone else you know has a suitable yard for large-scale entertaining, it can be a wonderful place for a wedding or reception (or both). If it’s your childhood home, it can have a very warm emotional resonance for you and those who love you. It’s also an inexpensive location, which may be very attractive if you are on a budget. It also can count as an eco-friendly venue.
There are things to think about before you jump in, however. Yes, the location itself is free, but there may be some rather large expenses that go with it. First, you may need to put up a tent in case of bad weather. June in Chicago is not only the rainiest month of the year, but it can also be cold. And any month around here can have freak weather. Fortunately, there are many reliable tent rental companies that offer quality products, good service, and extras like flooring and heaters.
The next consideration always on my list is the question of bathrooms. Does the house have enough to accommodate the number of guests you anticipate? Are they accessible for those guests who can’t take many stairs? If not, you may need to rent portable restrooms–and find a place to put them.
Another thing to think about is the stress a back yard wedding puts on the owners of the house. Make sure both you and they know what they are getting themselves into. They may need to move the first floor furniture. They will probably feel obligated to do extra cleaning and yard work. They will have their home turned topsy-turvy for a weekend. If they are willing to do the extra work and have their home turned upside down, be sure to thank them a lot! They are doing something very special for you.
One more (non-glamorous) thing to plan for is garbage disposal. If you are serving dinner to 100 guests in your yard, you will have a larger-than-usual amount of garbage and recycling. Make plans to have extra receptacles, and figure out if your usual disposal service will be able to remove the refuse after the party.
With a little planning, a back yard wedding can be a wonderful way to get married.
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