Aug 12, 2013 | wedding planning
Here are bridesmen and groomsmaids at a wedding. Photo by Johnny Knight.
Tradition dictates bridesmaids to surround the bride and groomsmen or ushers to stand up with the groom. But plenty of people have good friends of the opposite gender and they ask those friends to stand up with them in their weddings. And why not?
I’m not one to stomp on tradition for the simple sake of overthrowing it, but I do think it is good to keep an open mind. And I have seen some lovely incarnations of this kind of changing thinking.
A couple of times I have seen the groom’s sister as the “best man.” When siblings are close, it only makes sense. I have also seen close male friends of the bride stand up with her. So, if you’re wondering who to ask to stand up with you at your wedding, don’t let tradition narrow your options.
Aug 5, 2013 | vendors, wedding planning
The Orrington Hotel, courtesy of their website.
If you’re interested in having your wedding or other occasion at a hotel but you are looking for something a little bit different, you might consider looking at the Orrington Hotel in Evanston.
The Orrington is both a classic, old-fashioned hotel and a recently updated modern event venue. The building has been in downtown Evanston for decades, but recent renovations have brought it up to date. There is a ballroom unlike any other hotel ballroom I’ve seen. While the decor is pretty standard, there is a huge, sweeping staircase that leads down into the space. It has many dramatic possibilities, including use as the aisle or backdrop for a wedding.
The hotel also has all the standard hotel amenities you would expect: catering, meeting rooms, guest rooms, etc. The staff seems friendly and accommodating. It is also in a great location with any number of restaurants, parks, and shops nearby, if your guests are staying for a long weekend.
If you’re looking for a party venue, take a look at this undiscovered gem.
Jul 29, 2013 | etiquette, wedding planning
Why is the receiving line so rare? Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
The institution of the receiving line seems to have gone out of fashion, if my recent experience is any guide. I can only think of one wedding I have been to or worked on in the last decade or so that had one. My guide in all things etiquette, Miss Manners, says that the receiving line is an inevitable and hospitable institution. She says that the bride, the groom, and various important family members are all obligated to greet every single guest and that the receiving line is the way to ensure that it happens. So why is it that no one does this any more? I’d love to hear your thoughts. (Log in on Facebook for the discussion.)
Jul 22, 2013 | Eco-Friendly Events, wedding planning
What can you to green your giving and receiving? Image by theblondephotographer.com.
The gifts you receive and give on the occasion of your marriage might not be the largest contributors to environmental degradation, but they may give your guests an opportunity to contribute to your eco-conscious wedding.
Instead of a gift registry, you might ask your guests to make donations to your favorite causes (including environmental ones), instead of giving material gifts. There are even ways to set up a donation gift registry. Sites such as the Green Bride Guide have green gift registries, as well. For those who give material gifts, ask them to use recycled wrapping paper–and then reuse it when you give a gift. If you have a stack of presents, be sure to recycle the wrapping paper, boxes, and packing material.
If you are giving gifts to your wedding party, members of your family, or each other, think about eco-conscious gifts. There are thousands of websites devoted to green, eco-friendly, sustainable gift-giving. There are also artists in your community (and on websites such as Etsy) who use upcycled materials. Buying local also reduces the carbon footprint of your gift.
Green gift-giving is one of the easiest things you can do to green your wedding.
Jul 15, 2013 | etiquette, wedding planning
Here is a theatrical scenic element--lovingly made by the groom and incorporating symbols important to the bride and groom. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
As you may recall, I’ve been reading Miss Manners on {Painfully Proper} Weddings by the inimitable Judith Martin. I am a big fan of Miss Manners, but sometimes I disagree with her. This is one of those times.
You see, Miss Manners has a categorical dislike for any element of show business poking its nose into a wedding. As a show business professional (as I have been for decades), I think she is overlooking some important things.
For one thing, the art of theatre as we know it now came originally from the religious rituals of ancient Greece. So, there don’t need to be separate categories for religion and for spectacle. Some modern religions have more spectacle than others, but there is often a place in religion for a visually representative ritual.
But also, as every theatre artist knows, an element of spectacle is only any good if it reinforces the main theme. If it is extraneous to the main concept of two people solemnly marrying each other, then it should go. But if it reinforces that all-important idea, then I think it has a place in a wedding ceremony.
Jul 8, 2013 | vendors, wedding planning
Crown Restrooms, as borrowed from their website.
When you’re planning your wedding, the first thing that comes to mind is probably not, “We’ll need portable restrooms!” But if you do need them, don’t let it be the last thing you think about.
If you are planning a backyard wedding or reception, or if your venue is in a park or forest preserve, you might need to rent restroom facilities. And since you’re planning a special occasion, you probably don’t want to rent the kind of portapotties you’d find at a construction site. This is where upscale portable restrooms come in.
There is a surprisingly large number of companies providing this service, but I have only worked with a couple of them. Crown Restrooms provided a restroom trailer at a wedding I worked on a couple of years ago, and I was suitably impressed with them.
The wedding was in a private park, so it was absolutely necessary to have adequate facilities. These fit on the driveway of the lodge. They were clean, had running water, and were large enough for the purpose. The company was reliable in its delivery, and everything functioned correctly.
It’s not a glamorous part of party planning, but the importance of good restrooms to the success of the affair cannot be underestimated.
Jul 1, 2013 | Weddings
Would this pizza buffet win an award? It was perfect for this wedding.
I’m catching up on some TV shows and just watched an episode of “Four Weddings.” Ever watched that? It’s a (so-called) reality show where four brides rank each others’ weddings and the highest scoring pair win a vacation honeymoon. It’s a chance to showcase four very different weddings and to talk about what makes a wedding “good.” Naturally, I have an opinion about all this.
On the plus side, the show minimizes the cat-fight-type competition among the women. They end up friends at the end and cheer for each other. On the other hand, the things the weddings are ranked on are the venue, the food, and the bride’s dress. Really?? Are these the three most important things about a wedding?
Sometimes when I’m working with a client, I find myself up against this sort of made-for-TV expectation. I have had to talk more than one client down from this ledge and remind them that the important things about a wedding are:
- The ceremony and getting married to the right person.
- Having family and friends there for the occasion.
- Having a ceremony and reception that truly reflect who you are as a couple.
If you happen to have a gorgeous venue, delicious food, and a perfect dress, that’s a bonus. If you don’t, you’ll still end up married at the end of the day, and that is what really counts.
Jun 24, 2013 | Eco-Friendly Events, wedding planning
Mmm: An organic, local cheese tray. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
Your food choices every day have an environmental impact, but they have an even larger one when you entertain guests. Here are a few ideas for how to green your special event’s food and beverages.
The most environmentally friendly choice is to serve food and drink from local sources. It is also important to serve organic food and drink, where it is available. Meat, dairy products, and eggs have more adverse environmental consequences than fruits and vegetables.
A truly sustainable meal is an organic, local, vegan meal, but that is not the only choice! Opting for organic, local food, including meat or fish, will provide your guests with a tasty meal that has a lesser environmental impact than a meal that is trucked in from distant conventional farms. Choosing either organic or local is also a way to make your celebration more sustainable.
Whatever you serve, arrange to have the leftovers picked up by the local food bank instead of going into the trash. Check your local ordinances first, though. Not every municipality permits re-serving of prepared food.
Greening your meal is easiest if you can choose a caterer who will make environmentally friendly choices. If the caterer composts food waste and recycles as much as possible, that will have a positive effect. Also, consider renting dishes instead of using disposables and finding a rental company close to your event location to minimize trucking time. If you must use disposables, use compostable disposables and be sure that they are composted afterwards. And you can reduce waste and save money at the same time by serving beer in returnable kegs instead of in bottles or cans.
Jun 17, 2013 | wedding planning
How many decisions were made to end up here? Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
Planning a wedding means making a lot of decisions. Where will the wedding be? When? Who will be invited? Who will officiate? Will it be a religious wedding? And on and on, down to the color of the dinner napkins.
Planning a wedding also means that a lot of people will be interested in the decisions that you make. Outside of the bride and groom, families–and sometimes friends–have an interest in what you decide. Some of them will encourage or pressure you to make the decision that they want, even if it is not what you want.
Weddings are also very emotional times and those same friends and family members who wish you well can sometimes let their feelings run away with them. What is the best way to handle this situation?
The question I like to ask is this: Is it more important to get what you want? Or is it more important to preserve relationships? Sometimes you have to choose. I think it is usually more important to preserve relationships. But in each situation, you will have to decide. Is this person more important than having things my way? Is there a compromise that can do both?
Planning a wedding can be full of emotional traps. It’s always good to be prepared.
Jun 10, 2013 | vendors, wedding planning
Here are some guests enjoying themselves in the Traveling Photo Booth. Photo by Light on Life Images.
Photo booths are all the rage at weddings these days. People seem to love them! At a recent wedding, I worked with the nice folks from Traveling Photo Booth.
The things I think are important in a vendor such as a photo booth are actually pretty simple: Is their equipment right for the job? Do they show up on time? Is their staff friendly, knowledgeable, and polite?
On all three counts, this company scored 100%. They arrived when they said they would and unloaded quickly. They got extra points for that, as there was very limited loading space. They set up and were ready to go when they were needed. The equipment was clean and high tech. They kept the crowd happy with their photos all evening. The staff was very accommodating. And they loaded out and left without a fuss. I would definitely recommend them again.
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