A toast at the head table.
One place where I see my clients struggling is with the question of toasts at the reception. How many should there be? How much time will they take? Who should make them? When should you do them? (And let’s not even get into what the toasters should and should not say!)
The first thing to know is that every single toast that is made at a wedding reception is likely to be five minutes long (and at least one will be longer). You can tell people they only have two minutes each, but no one will listen. I’ve listened to too many toasts to believe otherwise. So, if you have eight people giving toasts, be sure to allow 40 minutes in the schedule. You’ll need it.
That alone is the reason that I generally advise my clients not to do toasts before dinner. A single toast before dinner is not a bad idea, but more than one and the guests will get restless as they wait for their dinner. It’s better to wait until at least after the first course, if not until after dinner and before dessert.
I also recommend doing a minimum number of toasts. They are a nice way to honor people, but if you have too many, you may risk boring your guests. Parent(s) of the bride, parent(s) of the groom, best man, and maid/matron of honor are all excellent choices for toasts. Sometimes it is also appropriate to ask a sibling to give a toast if they are not best man/maid of honor, or to ask a grandparent or other relative, if there is a special relationship.
One final bit of advice is to remind your toasters (especially groomsmen, for some reason) to remember that this is a toast, not a roast. After a bit of drink, sometimes this fact is forgotten.
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