Really, it will all be fine! Photo by Beth Weiler Photography.
Here are some thoughts for those of you who are just starting to plan your wedding (and even for those who are well on their way). This is about one of the biggest pitfalls you may encounter as you plan, especially if you already have perfectionist tendencies. It’s about the wedding industry’s unreasonable love affair with the word “perfect.” This is my down-to-earth advice about the idea of a “perfect” wedding:
You don’t have to be perfect in order to get married. Especially if you’re a woman, remember that you don’t have to be perfect in order to Be A Bride. (The wedding industry really goes after women on the perfectionism thing.) If you’re a man or non-binary, you don’t have to be perfect, either. You just have to be yourself.
You don’t have to try to be someone else in order to get married, either. Your spouse-to-be wants to marry your authentic self. Your friends and family will be there because they love you as you are. You can be any version of yourself you want, but remember that you are good enough to get married.
Your wedding will be perfect in its own way, even if it is not exactly what you had envisioned. Chances are, it will be better than you thought possible (assuming you have planned halfway well), especially if you let things happen the way they happen and don’t try to control everything.
I want you to know that all this advice is coming from someone who truly understands perfectionism and control issues. I know all about it, and much more. And I know that it is possible to let go, and that it can be a good idea to do so. (It also helps if you have a person you trust running things so you can let go.)
Think about it this way: If you are going to stay married to the same person for the long haul, you are going to learn that there are things you just can’t control. (Trust me on this one!) Start practicing now to let go of the little things as you plan your wedding.
Plan well and think things through. Hire people you can trust to make things go smoothly. Have back-up plans in place. Then, hand it all over to the person who is coordinating the day for you, and let it go. As long as you end up married to the right person at the end of the day, it will be a smashing success!
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