This table has insufficient distance between the guests, but it’s about as large a crowd as you can count on right now.
My last post was all the reasons why I recommend against having a wedding celebration right now. I’ve even racked up a few new reasons since then. But I realize that not everyone is going to take my advice. If you are going ahead with your planning, here are some things I think you should think about.
As I said last time, if you’re planning a wedding under the current conditions, it’s going to require some extra work. But it’s not entirely impossible. There are things you can do if you are serious about keeping everyone safe at your pandemic wedding. If you’re the host of the party, it is up to you to set the expectations for the behavior of your guests. You can communicate your expectations to your guests in your invitations, on your wedding website, and with follow-up communications to everyone.
It doesn’t have to be deadly serious, either. Keep it light by reminding everyone that the theme of your wedding is Safety First or Love at a Distance. You can probably come up with something a lot cuter than I can right now. Just be sure that whatever you say, you repeat it a lot so that everyone knows that you’re in earnest and they can’t laugh it off. You also have to be the first ones to practice what you preach, no exceptions. (Does this sound hard? It is.)
If you want your guests to wear masks, then supply them with masks, and be prepared to wear them, yourselves. Put your names and wedding date on them. Get them to match your décor. Give out prizes for dedicated mask wearers. Make it easy and fun for your guests to wear masks.
You can also designate someone to be the mask-and-social-distancing monitor. They can make regular announcements to remind everyone of the rules. People are bound to forget to stay distant from people they haven’t seen in a long time. Make sure there is someone there to remind them to back away. It’s not a disaster if people are close to each other for a few minutes, but if they are not reminded, they will forget and stay there for longer than is safe. Again, make sure to keep it light: Give your monitor a sparkly magic wand and have them remind people about the wedding’s theme. Or hand out stickers that say, “I can see your nose!” Once again, you can probably come up with something much better!
The biggest thing to think about as you plan is going to be (oddly enough) the arrangement of the furniture. The locations of tables and chairs is going to be the most important thing that will keep your guests at a safe distance from each other. The ground plan is sometimes created by your caterer, sometimes by the venue, and sometimes by your planner. You’ll have to make sure that all three of those professionals are on the same page regarding safety. If you don’t see furniture spread out in a safe and sensible fashion on the first draft of the ground plan, don’t hesitate to ask for revisions.
Before the wedding, be sure to ask your guests, in all seriousness, to stay home if they are ill, if they have been exposed to someone who is ill, or if they have any question at all about the wisdom of their attendance. Naturally, people will want to be there and they don’t want to disappoint you. It will be up to you to let them know that you would rather they stay home if it is safer. Also, keep in mind that it could be someone very close to you who needs to stay home. Make up your mind now to be prepared for that disappointment. In the long run, it’s just not worth it.
You also might have to be prepared for some of your guests to decline to attend if they don’t believe it is safe for them. Please be understanding and don’t pressure anyone to be there if they believe it would be a bad idea for them.
The other really hard thing to be prepared for is that between now and the day of your wedding, things are very likely to change. Just today, the mayor of Chicago announced some new restrictions on various businesses. So far, it doesn’t affect weddings much (except that make-up services are no longer permitted), but at any time the mayor or the governor could change the rules. You might be planning for 50 guests only to find out that there is a maximum limit of ten guests by the time you arrive at your date.
It’s not all bad news. I recently learned about a very fun option that a local DJ company is providing: They suggest that you have a small wedding ceremony with your closest family and a few friends, have dinner with them, end the in-person celebration there, and then carry on with a virtual dance party that they can provide for all your friends and relations. This seems like a safe, sensible, and fun option.
I haven’t changed my mind about the wisdom of having parties right now, but if you want to go ahead, please consider all these things as you plan. It is definitely extra work to try to have a safe celebration right now.
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