Having an Introvert Wedding

I think my services must appeal to introverts as I seem to have a lot of clients who identify themselves that way.  It makes sense:  I am one, too.  And I got married once, so I had an introvert wedding, and I understand some of the hurdles on the way to your introvert wedding.

Introvert weddings can look just like extravert ones! (Photo courtesy of Cage+Aquarium. Flowers by May Floral.)

For those of you who are not introverts, perhaps a few definitions are in order.  An introvert is not (necessarily) a shy person or an anti-social person.  According to the Urban Dictionary, an introvert is “One who focuses on the inner world of thoughts and ideas.”  A second definition is, “One who gains energy from alone time, one who thinks before they speak.”  (Same source.  Not my run-on sentence.)

In case it’s not obvious from the definition, there can be some definite difficulties for introverts getting married.  A lot of us don’t care for being the center of attention.  Crowds of people, even people we love, can be exhausting.  Even things like being photographed are not always pleasant.

So, how do you navigate the difficulties inherent in such a public display as a wedding if you’re an introvert?  I would say that the number one thing is to hire people to work on your wedding who understand your point of view and what you want–and who are willing to do what it takes to make your wedding live up to your vision for it.  That doesn’t mean hiring all introverts, but it might mean taking the time to thoroughly interview all your wedding vendors to make sure they are sympathetic to your way of thinking, and trusting your gut when it comes to deciding on them.  I’m also obligated at this point to mention that hiring a planner who understands your needs will get you access to other vendors with a similar point of view.

Two other things to think about are the size and the style of your wedding.  If you can have a smaller wedding without offending friends and family (or if you don’t care!), it will likely be less stressful.  And often a more casual wedding will be easier than a more formal one.

In the end, as with all weddings, it is up to you to decide how you want to get married and celebrate.  If that means eloping and telling the family later, then that’s what you can do.  If a more structured event is still something you want, just remember that you can still make the choices to make it work for you.  There is no one right way to get married.  There is only the way that is right for you.