Oct 19, 2009 | Style, wedding planning, Weddings
I see a lot of online discussions about wedding colors, and it has gotten me to thinking. Why are wedding colors so important? Where did they come from? How have they become a necessary part of wedding planning?
Wedding websites gush with statements such as this:
There’s no question: choosing wedding colors is one of the earliest, trickiest tasks a bride has to cross off the list. You can’t even talk [to] your florist until you’ve worked this out.
(From Favor Ideas.)
I’m pretty sure that in my mother’s day, there was no such thing as wedding colors. Tablecloths were white; flowers were whatever color you liked; maybe you had an accent color for monogrammed napkins; and everything else was white. Sometime since then, wedding colors have become seemingly mandatory.
Unity sand and contrasting flowers. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
I will say this in favor of choosing colors: If you’re not having a white wedding, when creating elaborate decorations, it is much easier to come up with a pleasing decor if you are working from a limited color palette. Choosing two or three colors and sticking with them makes the design much more likely to be successful.
On the other hand, I don’t think that it is necessary to fetishize a pair of colors the way some of the bridal magazines would have you do. TheKnot.com puts it very well:
We should point out that overdoing it with a matchy-match look is entirely possible. (You don’t want your guests thinking, Um, yeah, lavender…we get it.)
At the same time, that same website devotes pages and pages to wedding colors. I think it is possible to strike a balance: Know your color scheme but don’t become a slave to it. Above all, don’t think that you can’t get married without one.
A very thoughtful couple I worked with a couple of years ago chose their color scheme very carefully and made it unusually meaningful. Each of them chose a color that made them think of their spouse-to-be. They then used the colors and their meanings in their wedding vows. And those were their wedding colors. As the guests enjoyed the reception, when they saw the ribbons tied around the candles or the unity sand the couple had poured during the ceremony, they were reminded of their beautiful vows and the real meaning of the day.
This couple also did not use their two colors exclusively. The cake used one of the colors and a contrasting color. The wedding party wore the other color, mostly. But the flowers (with the exception of the groom’s boutonniere) were all in contrasting bright colors; the place cards didn’t match at all; and still everything looked and felt like a unified whole.
The lesson here is, I think, that thinking about color is very important when planning a wedding reception. It should not, however, become more important than the main event, which is getting married.
Sep 21, 2009 | Budget Planning, Family Parties, Parties and Special Events, wedding planning, Weddings
Everyone trusts the vendors when there is no funny business. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
If you have looked recently at the page on my website that deals with Money Matters, you might have noticed at the bottom that I have my integrity pledge there. In case you’re not familiar with how this scheme I mention works, let me lay it out for you here.
When I first hung out my (virtual) shingle as an event planner, vendors started getting in touch with me. They wanted me to refer my clients to them, and for the privilege, they were willing to pay me–in hard, cold cash–an amount equivalent to 10% of what my clients paid them for their work. I understand that this can be quite a good revenue stream for an event planner, but I am not willing to sell out for the cash. I always insist that the vendor give my client the equivalent discount, instead. It costs the vendor the same amount and it allows me to offer my clients a little bonus.
Taking the commission (as they call it) has several drawbacks. I work for the person who is paying me. If I were to take both a fee from a client and a payment from a vendor, then I would have two masters with conflicting interests. I would lose the ability to help my client stay within their budget, since my own personal interest would be for them to spend more. I also might be tempted to refer clients to the vendor who offers me the largest percentage, rather than the vendor who does the best work or gives the best value for money.
I heard a very telling story from a woman I know who makes and sells eco-friendly event invitations. She told me that she had been taking her wares around to various event planners. She was discussing the commission amount with one planner. The planner pointed to a wall of invitation sample books and told her that those vendors all offered her a much higher commission. She clearly expected that this woman would offer her more. And that is a situation that can lead to bidding wars, which can not be good for the planner’s clients.
When I first started out as a planner, I was pretty sure I would never take these kickbacks from vendors. But the thing that really gave me the resolve came from a very unexpected place. I took a taxi home from the very first wedding I ever planned and coordinated. The cab driver was an older gentleman, and we chatted on the way home. Of course he asked me what I do and where I was coming from. When I told him that I am a wedding planner, the first thing he said was, “You don’t take those payments from the vendors, do you?” I assured him that I do not take them. And I have never been tempted to go back on my word.
Sep 1, 2009 | Day-of Coordinating, Weddings
One thing comes with me to just about every event I do: my emergency bag. I have a very sturdy canvas gardening bag with many pockets and pouches that contains lots of things that I might need at a wedding or other event where I am working. The contents of the bag change from time to time as I add or remove items, but the basic things it contains remain. Because I was a good Girl Scout, I try to be prepared for every emergency, and so my bag contains these things:
* An ace bandage, alcohol swabs, antibacterial ointment, bandages, an ice pack, and other things that might be needed for first aid. Fortunately, these things see very little use, but I always want to have them on hand.
* Bobby pins, a comb, a cuticle stick, dental floss, tissues, hand lotion, mouthwash, a nail clipper, an emery board, toothpaste, and similar personal care items.
* An eyeglass fixing kit, hot glue and a hot glue gun, a stapler, rubber bands, safety pins, a sewing kit, and velcro. These are the things I reach for the most often. There always seems to be one groomsman who loses a jacket button–if it isn’t the groom.
* Insect repellent, sunscreen, matches, a lint brush, pantyhose, and black socks.
The florist brought plenty of pins. But what if he hadn't? Photo by Happy Buddy PhotoArt.
* Aisle runner pins, wide white ribbon, corsage pins, and white chalk.
* And twenty kinds of tape. This is probably my favorite thing in the bag. Someone always asks, “Lisa, do you have any tape?” It comes in handy for so many things, and I have just about any kind you might need.
There are a few more things I would like to add to my stash to make sure I am prepared for everything. Don’t worry, though: If there is an emergency, I’ll come up with a solution whether I have that one item in my bag or not.
Aug 18, 2009 | Budget Planning, wedding planning, Weddings
The bride's friends made the centerpieces for this wedding.
A friend of mine who recently got married told me something she learned in the course of planning her wedding. For some reason or another, she was talking to a lawyer who specializes in divorce (having nothing to do with her wedding, of course!) They were discussing the size of her wedding budget, which I understand was quite modest, since she works as a free-lancer and her husband is a graduate student. This lawyer told her that he had noticed an interesting correlation in the course of his work. According to him, the larger the wedding budget is, the shorter the marriage is likely to be. I can’t account for this surprising parallel, but I can say this: If you are planning a wedding on a small budget, you can at least console yourself that, statistically speaking, your marriage is more likely to be a lasting one.
Aug 10, 2009 | Day-of Coordinating, Weddings
The cake, along with all the white lights I strung.
Last Saturday, I was the coordinator for a wedding, and it was one of those days when everything goes perfectly. That’s not to say that there were no challenges, but everyone rose to meet them.
The biggest hurdle we had to overcome was the weather. The wedding was at Architectural Artifacts/Atrium Events on the north side of Chicago. It’s a wonderful space and I look forward to working there again. The one and only drawback to the place is that it has no air conditioning. And Saturday was the first day this summer when the weather was over ninety degrees!
The ceremony was outdoors in the courtyard where the weather was bearable. The reception was on the lower level that had stayed cooler than the rest of the space. The caterer had also made sure to bring extra fans to keep the air moving at the tables and on the dance floor. Only the cocktail hour was indoors on the upper level where it was rather hot and crowded. The caterer, the photographer, and I all coordinated our activities so we could open up the lower level as early as possible to let people get out of the heat. (I thought the bride’s godmother was going to melt!)
The band started playing at 9:00, and the lead singer invited people onto the dance floor this way: She said, “As long as you are already sweating, you might as well be dancing.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. The guests took her advice, too.
But there was more to this wedding than just overcoming the challenges brought on by the weather. The lovely young couple had done an exceptional job planning their entire wedding day. They really thought through the details. In fact, I was still getting e-mails from the bride the day before with just “one more thing” she had thought of. She was a little apologetic until I told her that I’d rather she told me those things in advance, rather than waiting until half an hour before the ceremony. Knowing what they really needed, I was able to take care of all the little details that made the day special for them.
And because they had planned so thoroughly (and hired people who knew how to execute the plan), everything went perfectly. They had a lovely, personal ceremony followed by a terrific reception with food and drink, cake, flowers, meaningful toasts, and dancing to a very fun dance band.
Aug 6, 2009 | Day-of Coordinating, Weddings
The journey was half the fun. Photo courtesy of Artisan Events, Inc.
I began doing events before I started this blog, so here is a story from a past wedding:
The wedding guests were staying at a hotel on the Gold Coast. The wedding was at a synagogue in Highland Park. The reception was at a lovely little French restaurant in Bucktown. The first thing the marrying couple asked for help with was transportation. I chartered a bus for 25 guests and found a reasonably priced limousine for the couple. After setting up for the reception at the restaurant, I was responsible for making sure that all the guests who wanted to be on the bus were there before it left. I also loaded the snacks and bottled water onto the bus and distributed the snacks on the bus. We all rode the bus together up Sheridan Road, all the way to Highland Park, and then back into the city for the reception. It was a lot of miles logged for the guests, but their hosts were very considerate to charter a bus for them. The party was on wheels! I was most privileged to have helped this couple, not only with transportation but also with finding a terrific florist and various other things that made their lives easier and their wedding perfect.
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