Aug 17, 2015 | wedding planning
Is this a non-traditional wedding? You decide. Photo by Allison Williams Photography.
I talk to my clients a lot about non-traditional weddings and I have information on it plastered all over my website, but you might be wondering what, exactly, a non-traditional wedding is. In my experience, it means different things to different people.
Here’s my philosophy on non-traditional weddings. For me, wedding planning starts with something very basic: In Illinois, if you want to get married legally, all you need is a marriage license and someone to sign it. Everything else is optional. Everything. To me, weddings are a blank slate ready for your personal imprint, and I am always willing to question the conventional wisdom.
The concept of non-traditional also extends to the people getting married. Same sex weddings are still considered non-traditional by some people. And there are a lot of body issues that get caught up in weddings. I’ll write a whole separate post about body-positive weddings because that’s a bigger issue.
I’ve noticed that the aspect of weddings that seems to be the most changeable is the processional. Almost everyone feels free to mess with tradition there. At the other end of the spectrum are things that almost no one changes, like the form of the ceremony. And there are lots of variations in between.
Decor, venue, clothing, type of party–all of these are things that a couple might scrutinize when planning a wedding. Whatever you decide, you should know that I am open-minded about your choices. As I said before, almost everything is optional.
Jun 1, 2015 | Day-of Coordinating, wedding planning
Let me sweat the details so you don’t have to. Courtesy of sprungphoto.com.
I’ve run this one before, but I think it is still helpful.
If you are planning a wedding, you are probably thinking about hiring a wedding planner or a day-of wedding coordinator. If you’re getting married this year and are not thinking about any such thing, may I recommend that you do so before the best planners get booked up for the busy summer and fall seasons?
It’s not difficult to hire a day-of coordinator. Once you have found a handful of prospects (by searching or asking friends or any method you like), it’s time to interview them. I recommend that you meet them in person before hiring. Sometimes this is impractical, of course. In that case, be sure to have a detailed telephone conversation before signing a contract. Some of the things you may want to consider are: the planner’s experience and expertise; the planner’s personality and how it fits with yours; the kinds of ideas she or he can bring to the table; the fee charged and what you will get for what you pay.
Sometimes the person with the lowest price is the best one for the job, but other times someone with a very low price may not offer as many important services as someone who charges a little more. Get enough information on the services included in the fee so that you can tell the difference. Find out what the price range is by asking several coordinators. You don’t have to hire the most expensive one, but you will probably find one in the middle of the price range who has all the characteristics you want.
Before you hire, get references. Call recent clients or e-mail them, and ask them questions about their experience with the coordinator. Ask them if they would recommend the person. Ask them if they think they got value for their money. Ask if there were any unresolved problems.
Finally, get a signed contract with the coordinator before paying anything. (This is actually good advice for hiring any vendor.) Don’t be intimidated by legalese in the contract. If there’s anything you don’t understand, ask to have it clarified. And only sign the contract once you are sure you understand everything and agree with it. It takes some work, but it is always worth while to have a good contract in place. It protects both parties.
And once you have hired a wedding coordinator, keep them informed of your decisions. If they ask for information, get it to them as soon as possible. They are looking out for your best interests and need to know what you want and what you are doing so they can take care of all the details while you are busy getting married and enjoying yourself.
May 18, 2015 | wedding planning
A toast at the head table.
One place where I see my clients struggling is with the question of toasts at the reception. How many should there be? How much time will they take? Who should make them? When should you do them? (And let’s not even get into what the toasters should and should not say!)
The first thing to know is that every single toast that is made at a wedding reception is likely to be five minutes long (and at least one will be longer). You can tell people they only have two minutes each, but no one will listen. I’ve listened to too many toasts to believe otherwise. So, if you have eight people giving toasts, be sure to allow 40 minutes in the schedule. You’ll need it.
That alone is the reason that I generally advise my clients not to do toasts before dinner. A single toast before dinner is not a bad idea, but more than one and the guests will get restless as they wait for their dinner. It’s better to wait until at least after the first course, if not until after dinner and before dessert.
I also recommend doing a minimum number of toasts. They are a nice way to honor people, but if you have too many, you may risk boring your guests. Parent(s) of the bride, parent(s) of the groom, best man, and maid/matron of honor are all excellent choices for toasts. Sometimes it is also appropriate to ask a sibling to give a toast if they are not best man/maid of honor, or to ask a grandparent or other relative, if there is a special relationship.
One final bit of advice is to remind your toasters (especially groomsmen, for some reason) to remember that this is a toast, not a roast. After a bit of drink, sometimes this fact is forgotten.
Apr 20, 2015 | Eco-Friendly Events, wedding planning
This was one of the most popular posts I ever wrote. I have updated it with new information.
What do you do with leftover mini-cakes? Photo by HappyBuddy Photo Art.
One thing that often gets overlooked in party and event planning is what happens after the party is over. If you are planning a wedding, party, or other large event, now would be a good time to think about what happens when the fun is done. Beyond the basic logistical question of who is going to transport stuff from one place to another, there are the considerations of what to do with left over items. Here are my thoughts on several of categories of those items.
Food: If you didn’t run out of food at your party (heaven forfend!), then there will be leftovers. It would be a shame to throw them out. In some places, a local food bank can pick up your extra food and distribute it to food pantries and shelters. (See the Feeding America food bank locator to find a local food bank.) Some states and municipalities do not allow this practice, though, and not all food banks are set up to handle it, so check with your food bank ahead of time. And unless you’re a food safety expert, don’t try it on your own. Even if you can’t distribute your leftovers to hungry strangers, you can probably find some friends and relatives who would be happy to take some of it. Prepare for this possibility by having appropriate containers available, and instruct your caterer how to distribute extra food. Whatever you do, talk to your caterer ahead of time!
Flowers and other decorations: The nicest way to take care of flowers and other centerpieces is to donate them to a local hospital or nursing home. As with donating food, this is both eco-friendly and socially responsible. Not only do flowers get a second use, but they may also brighten the day of someone who could use a little cheer. Perhaps you already have a relationship with an institution where you can send your flowers. At one wedding that I coordinated, they announced at the reception that all the flowers would go to the hospital where a family member had received treatment in his last illness. It seemed like a most fitting thing to do. If you don’t have the resources to do this yourself, in Chicago and a few other cities, there is an organization called Random Acts of Flowers who will do it for you.
Favors: Extra party favors can be a real problem. This is one area where you will really need to plan ahead. For one thing, you will almost definitely have extra favors. If you plan for one per guest, there will be some guests who don’t take one, or who take one for a household, instead of one per person. But you don’t want to have too few, either. When deciding what kind of favor to give your guests, consider how easy the extras will be to get rid of. If you have a common item that is usable by anyone (like decorated pencils, for instance), then you can give away extras on Freecycle or to an organization that can use them (like your local school). Food favors are even more difficult to get rid of than catered food. Novelty items will probably be sitting in the back of your closet for years. You might need to turn to an organization like Special E in order to find a second use for some of these things. One couple I worked with gave away beeswax candles (tied with ribbons in their wedding colors, of course). There were plenty remaining at the end of the evening, but I imagine they were perfectly happy to have a supply of such a useful item.
Decor and Clothing: If you have decor items (candles, table runners, pennants, table numbers, etc.), clothing or jewelry, you can donate them to The Great Wedding Recyclery in Chicago. They are sold to people who want sustainable and inexpensive wedding items and the proceeds benefit the Green Wedding Alliance.
Be sure to talk to your planner or coordinator about what happens to everything when the party is over. You can save yourself some headaches, bring joy to friends and strangers, and keep things out of the landfill with just a little extra effort.
Apr 13, 2015 | wedding planning
A pair of dice in a net bag was the perfect favor for a board game-themed wedding. Photo by Johnny Knight.
I had an interesting experience lately with a client who was from South America. He was not familiar with what we mean by a wedding favor, and that got me wondering: What, exactly, is a wedding favor? How is it defined?
A wedding favor is a small gift given by the couple to their guests as a token of their appreciation for being there.
What types of things are typically given as favors? Sugared (or Jordan) almonds are one well-known type of favor. A small handful of almonds (sometimes five) are tied in a net or lace bag. I’ve also seen a pair of chocolate candies in a presentation box as favors. These are probably the more traditional types of favors.
Other things I’ve seen as favors have a very diverse range: a flowerpot with seed paper with the couple’s names and wedding date; handmade soaps; a pair of dice; cat-shaped cookies; beeswax candles; trivia books; and trilobite-shaped chocolates.
The trend I’ve seen is to have the favor reflect the couple’s interests or tastes, or to coincide with the wedding’s theme, if it has one. It’s a nice touch if the favor has a personal meaning that is communicated to the guests.
It’s possible to go overboard with favors. Think small and personal, rather than large or outrageous. With care and good taste, almost anything can be a favor. And if you’re in doubt, be sure to ask your wedding planner.
Apr 6, 2015 | Eco-Friendly Events, wedding planning
The Great Wedding Recyclery.
For the third year in a row, the Green Wedding Alliance brings you The Great Wedding Recyclery, on Sunday, April , 11:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m. at Loft on Lake, 1366 W. Lake St., Chicago. A $5 donation benefits the Green Wedding Alliance.
The Recyclery is the only place in Chicago where once-used wedding decor and clothing are sold so they can be used another time. It’s like a huge garage sale for wedding items.
The last two years, this event was a huge success, with a line around the block of people waiting to get in. Many of those waiting found some amazing bargains. Everything that was bought and sold was one more thing that never went to a landfill and didn’t require manufacturing and transport from a distant location. Everyone wins!
Be sure to keep your Sunday afternoon clear so you can check out the Recyclery. And plan to get there early.
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