Aug 6, 2009 | Day-of Coordinating, Weddings
The journey was half the fun. Photo courtesy of Artisan Events, Inc.
I began doing events before I started this blog, so here is a story from a past wedding:
The wedding guests were staying at a hotel on the Gold Coast. The wedding was at a synagogue in Highland Park. The reception was at a lovely little French restaurant in Bucktown. The first thing the marrying couple asked for help with was transportation. I chartered a bus for 25 guests and found a reasonably priced limousine for the couple. After setting up for the reception at the restaurant, I was responsible for making sure that all the guests who wanted to be on the bus were there before it left. I also loaded the snacks and bottled water onto the bus and distributed the snacks on the bus. We all rode the bus together up Sheridan Road, all the way to Highland Park, and then back into the city for the reception. It was a lot of miles logged for the guests, but their hosts were very considerate to charter a bus for them. The party was on wheels! I was most privileged to have helped this couple, not only with transportation but also with finding a terrific florist and various other things that made their lives easier and their wedding perfect.
Aug 3, 2009 | Budget Planning, Day-of Coordinating, etiquette, wedding planning, Weddings
"Shall we tip the limo driver?" Photo by Happy Buddy PhotoArt.
I get asked sometimes about tipping wedding or party vendors. Now, I’m not an etiquette expert, but here is what I know. My rule of thumb is that it is never wrong to tip someone if they have provided you with exceptional service. If someone goes above and beyond the call of duty, you will never be wrong to show your appreciation in a tangible way. For most vendors, however, tipping is still optional.
There are some exceptions to that last rule, however. Food servers, hair stylists, and drivers are some of the people whom it is customary to tip. Your catering contract probably includes a gratuity. If so, then you have already tipped the staff. If you want to show further appreciation, you may, but it is not necessary.
If your stylist or limo driver is also the owner of the company, then it is not customary to tip, because they already have the full benefit of the payment you are making. I heard recently about a hair stylist who works for herself. She was going to charge $150 for a simple updo and then wanted an 18% tip on top of that. I recommended to the bride-to-be that she find a different stylist, as in that case the tip is a form of highway robbery.
I understand that it is also not customary to tip musicians. But the first rule still applies: Anyone who gives exceptional service might merit a reward. But don’t stress over tips. Most independent contractors don’t expect them and they are a very pleasant surprise if you do give one.
Jun 29, 2009 | Day-of Coordinating, Family Parties, Weddings
The guests get the gorgeous place setting. Photo by Carasco Photography.
So, your photographer, your DJ, and your day-of coordinator all gave you contracts saying that you have to feed them dinner during your event. Fair enough. Now, how do you manage this? A surprising (to me) number of my clients insist that I sit at a table with their guests and eat dinner while everyone else is eating. As much as I enjoy meeting new people and getting to know the family and friends of my clients, this is not always the smoothest way to handle the situation. Your other vendors have their own schedules and interests, but for the coordinator, during dinner is often a busy time. I may be able to eat just one bite of food before I need to jump up and do something, like find the best man for a toast or remind the caterer who has ordered a vegetarian meal. This can be disruptive to the other guests at the table, or at least surprising.
I would suggest that you set aside a small table near the kitchen or in the back room for your vendors and inform the catering manager that he or she should ask the vendors for the most convenient time to serve them dinner. For me, once the serious dancing gets underway, I finally have time to sit down for a moment and eat. The DJ may need to eat during the guests’ dinner. The photographer may hardly have a moment to sit down at all but will eat when she can.
The most important thing is communication. Talk to your vendors and to the person in charge of serving. You can save yourself many headaches this way.
Jun 8, 2009 | Day-of Coordinating, wedding planning, Weddings
The sweetheart cake atop the stand full of mini-cakes
You know how they always say that you should hire a day-of coordinator for your wedding, just in case something happens? Well, here is what happened this weekend:
It was a beautiful June Saturday in Chicago. Gospel Fest was in full swing downtown, along with the Printers’ Row Book Fair and a soccer game. I think there may have been at least one baseball game, as well. I was the coordinator at a morning wedding at the Columbus Park Refectory, with the reception at Adobo Grill in Wicker Park. The bride’s home, where she and her bridesmaids were dressing was in Melrose Park. All these places are located along the notorious Eisenhower Expressway, a highway that I have personally seen jammed at all hours on every day of the week.
The day began well, with the rental chairs showing up early for the ceremony. The florist, however, was late. I called him and he said he was 10 minutes away at the bride’s home, dropping off the personal flowers. 45 minutes later, he showed up to decorate the ceremony venue, apologizing profusely and saying that traffic was very slow on the highway. He arrived about 10 minutes before pre-ceremony photos were to be taken–except that the bridal party’s limo had not yet shown up. He got the flowers and ribbons in place and sped off to the reception venue. The limo arrived (just a little late), dropped off the bridal party, and went back for the bride. Photos were taken. Guests arrived. Boutonnieres were pinned. I began locating everyone for the processional.
The bride, however, was nowhere to be seen. After the time the ceremony should have begun, she sent a text message from the road to say that they were on their way. A while later she sent another to say that they were close by. And then another to say they were stuck in traffic and not moving. Finally, a full hour after she had expected to arrive, the limo pulled up. She got zipped into her dress in about 3 minutes flat and the processional began.
Every detail was planned. The flowers even matched...
At that point, I hurried off to the reception location. Oddly enough, I had no problems with traffic. Someone has to live the charmed life, I guess. I arrived at the restaurant about 45 minutes after I had planned to be there. The florist and baker had been there and made things beautiful. The restaurant staff had everything properly set. But the DJ wasn’t there. I called him and he was (surprise!) stuck in traffic. He ended up getting there about an hour late. Meanwhile, the guests were arriving for the reception, and the restaurant manager was keeping them out of the party room until everything was set. With the help of the restaurant staff, we loaded in the DJ and got him set up in about 10 minutes so that when the guests walked in, music was playing and no one ever knew what a mad scramble it had been to make everything perfect. Fortunately, I was on the spot and could make it easy for the DJ to get in and set up.
...the bride's purse!
The party began: appetizers, drinks, music, conversation. But the bridal party had gone downtown to the lakefront to take photos. (You can guess where this is going, right?) Two full hours after the guests arrived, the bridal party got to the reception. Some of the guests had actually left by that time. Instead of having 3-1/2 or 4 hours for a reception and for all the elements the couple wanted to include, we had to jam it all into about 2 hours: first dance, dance with parents, cake cutting, bouquet toss, garter toss, toasts, not to mention giving the bride and groom an opportunity to greet their guests. The whole schedule had gone out the window. I had to improvise a new one and get everything done before the guests left. We got it all in, but it took some quick thinking on my feet.
The whole day was like that: The schedule we had worked on so carefully became suddenly useless and I spent the day making up a new one on the fly. At the end of the day, the bride told me that she was very, very pleased with how the day had gone. I felt like I had really earned my keep that day. I had been hired as insurance, just in case, and when things did go wrong, I kept the day on track.
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