Jan 27, 2020 | wedding planning
When you’re getting married in the Forest Preserve, you definitely have to think about insects. Photo by Allison Williams Photography.
Let’s say you’re planning your dream eco-friendly wedding, and you want to have it outdoors. At some point in the process you are going to realize that, if it’s summertime, you are going to be inviting all the local mosquitoes to the buffet–of your guests! No one wants to expose their guests to a zillion mosquito bites (much less ticks), but if you really want your event to be environmentally friendly, do you want to spray insecticide? It’s a dilemma. Fortunately, there are some things you can do that are less toxic and less destructive than calling the local bug spraying service or dousing the place in a toxic yard spray.
The first thing you can do is to warn your guests that there will likely be insects, and that if they want to avoid being bitten, they should remember to use their own repellent. The next thing–which is more hospitable–is to provide insect repellent and a place (away from the food, please!) where people can use it. If you want to provide non-toxic and effective repellents to your guests, try some of the products that contain oil of lemon eucalyptus (different from lemon eucalyptus oil) or picardin. (I learned a lot about these products from reading a Consumer Reports article on the subject. WebMD also has some useful information.)
Beyond personal repellents, there are other things you can do. If you have access to electricity, you can have large fans blowing in your guest area. Mosquitoes (but not ticks) are generally deterred by strong air currents. Most tent rental companies will also rent fans and the generators to run them. (Unfortunately, clean energy generators are not a big business for weddings and smaller events yet, but it may be possible if you have the time and money to devote to making it happen.)
There are also non-toxic products you can spread on the ground to repel mosquitoes, like these granules from Bonide. This product gets good online reviews, but I have not seen any scientific articles reviewing its effectiveness. My guess is that it probably works for a while, but may need to be re-applied periodically. It also is not marketed to repel ticks, so personal insect repellents are still probably your best bet if you know they are in the area.
As a last resort, you can use some of the insecticides (permethrin and pyrethrin products) that are approved for organic farm use and sold for general consumer use. They are still toxic but are less destructive to beneficial insects when they are sprayed after sunset than some other options. They are also human neurotoxins, so if you are concerned about that, they may not be an option.
While insects are a nuisance when you’re planning an outdoor event, there’s no reason why you have to kill them or poison the environment in order to have a comfortable time with your guests.
Jan 13, 2020 | wedding planning
A match made in heaven! Photo by Azuree Wiitala, www.xoazuree.com.
I’m in the matchmaking business. No, I don’t mean finding marriage partners for my clients. They are on their own for that part! But once they hire me to help plan their wedding (or other event), then I often have to do some serious matchmaking–between them and the right vendors.
Every time I meet with one of my clients, not only am I paying attention to the specific problem or puzzle we are working on that day (budget, schedule, decor, whatever), but I am also listening to how they talk about themselves, each other, and their interests. These are all clues I can use to find the right people for them to work with.
Because having the right vendors for your wedding is the key to things turning out the way you want them to. If your florist doesn’t quite get your vision or you find your photographer abrasive, already things are not going the right way. There has to be good communication between client and vendor, and often that means having a similar point of view or something else in common.
And I love it when the match turns out to be a good one. When I client emails and says, “That florist you recommended is so wonderful!” then I know I got it right. Or when I get a call from a vendor saying, “Thanks for the recommendation to your client. We had a meeting and we had so much in common.” Those are the things I like to hear.
And it’s not just that I know a whole lot of wonderful people in this business. I really do. But there’s one more step to the process you can’t see: I’m doing matchmaking in my head to be sure that the right people are working together.
Jan 6, 2020 | wedding planning
Really, it will all be fine! Photo by Beth Weiler Photography.
Here are some thoughts for those of you who are just starting to plan your wedding (and even for those who are well on their way). This is about one of the biggest pitfalls you may encounter as you plan, especially if you already have perfectionist tendencies. It’s about the wedding industry’s unreasonable love affair with the word “perfect.” This is my down-to-earth advice about the idea of a “perfect” wedding:
You don’t have to be perfect in order to get married. Especially if you’re a woman, remember that you don’t have to be perfect in order to Be A Bride. (The wedding industry really goes after women on the perfectionism thing.) If you’re a man or non-binary, you don’t have to be perfect, either. You just have to be yourself.
You don’t have to try to be someone else in order to get married, either. Your spouse-to-be wants to marry your authentic self. Your friends and family will be there because they love you as you are. You can be any version of yourself you want, but remember that you are good enough to get married.
Your wedding will be perfect in its own way, even if it is not exactly what you had envisioned. Chances are, it will be better than you thought possible (assuming you have planned halfway well), especially if you let things happen the way they happen and don’t try to control everything.
I want you to know that all this advice is coming from someone who truly understands perfectionism and control issues. I know all about it, and much more. And I know that it is possible to let go, and that it can be a good idea to do so. (It also helps if you have a person you trust running things so you can let go.)
Think about it this way: If you are going to stay married to the same person for the long haul, you are going to learn that there are things you just can’t control. (Trust me on this one!) Start practicing now to let go of the little things as you plan your wedding.
Plan well and think things through. Hire people you can trust to make things go smoothly. Have back-up plans in place. Then, hand it all over to the person who is coordinating the day for you, and let it go. As long as you end up married to the right person at the end of the day, it will be a smashing success!
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