Phase 4 Weddings: Just Because You Can, Should You?

Photo by The Still Life Photography

There are definitely legitimate reasons for people to need or want to get married right now, pandemic or no pandemic. And I can’t make that decision for you, either now or in the foreseeable future. All I can do is share with you the pitfalls of pandemic weddings that I am hearing about—and there are quite a few!!

There has been a certain lack of clarity within the wedding industry in Illinois about what is permitted and what is not. Not that the rules aren’t published: They are available right now. But there is a lot of questionable information also being spread around. Here are the basic rules that affect you, your guests, and your vendors:

Capacity restrictions: Venues can host 50 people OR 50% of room capacity—whichever one is the LOWER number. So, if your venue can hold 300 people, then the maximum number of guests is 50. If your venue can hold 50 people, then the maximum guest count is 25. There are no circumstances under which you can have more than 50 people gathering indoors right now.  On the bright side, the capacity number does not include staff, so you don’t have to count servers, bartenders, officiant, photographer, videographer, or planner in your maximum number.

Guest behavior: Guests are required to wear masks unless they are actively eating a meal. Guests who have symptoms of illness should stay home. Everyone should stay at least six feet away from anyone they don’t live with, at all times.

Venue considerations: Signage with the rules for guests should be displayed prominently. People seated at tables still need to be six feet from anyone they don’t live with. You can’t have a dance floor. Entrances, exits, restrooms, coat rooms, and similar congested places need to be considered when finding ways to maintain distance among the guests.

There are also other guidelines in place that govern how food service is handled (especially buffets) and best practices for live performance.

I have to be honest with you: When I look at all the restrictions in place, I think that any event that follows all the rules is not going to resemble our idea of what a wedding should be. And that’s exactly where the list of problems starts: People are desperate for some kind of normal social life and for joyous occasions, even if that means risking their health and the health of everyone around them.

I’ve been hearing the stories from my fellow wedding vendors about the weddings they have worked at in the last few weeks since it became possible again, and I am not encouraged by what I am hearing. Between the aforementioned desperation and any amount of alcohol, it seems that most people stop taking mask-wearing and distancing seriously in no time at all. And this is one of the biggest hurdles to having a safe wedding in these times:  People are not necessarily going to follow the rules that are in place for their protection.

There are other pitfalls on the road to your pandemic wedding. One problem I’ve been hearing a lot about is that venues sometimes claim that you can have more than 50 guests. They generally try to justify it by claiming that the rule is 50% capacity. Venues that are also caterers want to have a larger capacity because that brings in more income for them. Unfortunately, that’s not what the rule says. If you have any questions about the capacity claim your venue is making, I recommend calling the local health department where the venue is located and asking them if the representations being made by the venue are correct. The health department is the final arbiter on this subject and they will be sure to set everyone straight.

Also, for weddings within the city of Chicago, there is now a 14-day quarantine order in place for people coming from locations where virus cases are increasing. If you have guests who live in Alabama, Arkansas, Arizona, California, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, Nevada, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, or Utah (subject to change as events play out), they will need to stay indoors in one location for 14 days upon arrival in Chicago without contact with other people. So, if you want those people to be at your wedding, they will need to arrive two weeks before any festivities begin and not go anywhere once they get here.

So, can you have a wedding in these times? Yes, you can. Is it easy to do? No: It takes a lot of extra work. Is it going to be any fun? The jury is still out on this one. Should you have a 50-guest wedding right now? On balance, I’m going to say that it might not be a good idea, considering how much extra risk and work are involved.

I’ll leave you with this sobering thought: If anyone who is at your wedding (guest, vendor, or you and your spouse) tests positive for the virus within two weeks, everyone who was there is going to get a call from the health department telling them to quarantine for 14 days and get tested for the virus. At best, that is an inconvenience for 60 or so people. At worst, it could mean that many of your closest friends and family members could become ill and some could die. Is that a risk you want to run so that you can have a party? Only you can decide.

But if you were to ask my opinion, this is what I would say: If you want or need to get married right now, then get a marriage license, find an officiant, and have your closest family there (preferably outdoors) with everyone wearing masks and keeping a distance. Don’t have a party. Save the celebration for the happy future when we can once again crowd the dance floor, share a meal, and hug our friends without worrying. That day will come, and it will be worth celebrating.