May 21, 2018 | wedding planning
How many other great ideas were ruled out to get to this fun and whimsical design choice? (Photo by hannahelaine photography (hannahelaine.com).)
Just in case you’re at this point in your planning process, here’s my advice on making choices for your wedding:
I wrote before about ways to approach decision-making for your wedding. This topic comes up frequently in my conversations with clients. Frequently, I am hearing things like, “There are so many choices, I don’t know how to make a decision” or “I love Pinterest, but when I spend time on it, it makes it harder for me to know what I want.” I also hear (a lot), “The process of wedding planning is really overwhelming!”
If this is how you feel, you should know that you’re not alone. It’s great to have a lot of choices and wonderful to have access to all sorts of ideas when you’re planning a wedding (or any other event). Being able to see what other people have done successfully is a great resource. Borrowing ideas can spark your own creativity. But once you have amassed all these ideas, what is the next step? I think this is where many people have trouble.
I’m lucky that I’ve spent several decades working with many wonderfully creative people in the live theatre industry. I’ve learned a lot from the various designers and directors and other artists about how the creative design process works. I’m not going to even try to distill it into a brief how-to manual (because I’m pretty sure that’s impossible), but here are a few ideas.
A design board (also called an inspiration board or a vision board) is a way to collect the best visual ideas you have in one place and to see if they will all work together. (There are lots of DIY tips online for how to do this. It’s also one of the things you can do in Pinterest.) What you may discover is that you have a few too many great ideas–which leads directly to my next tip:
You will probably have to discard some of your ideas. You may have to discard a lot of your ideas. The best events (like the best artistic creations) are focused and coherent. Simplicity can be your very best friend.
So, how do you take all those ideas and revise them until you have a focused idea? Try putting your favorites at the top of your design board and put the ones you don’t love quite as much farther down. Keep re-arranging them until you are happy with the order. Now, can you remove any of the ones at the bottom? Because you are now at the point where you will probably have to get rid of some things. And if you can’t quite bring yourself to remove something, that might be a sign that it needs to be a little higher in the priority list. Re-arrange again and try removing some things. Eventually, you should be able to refine your design choices.
Here’s another way to pare down the choices: Pick two colors and two other things you like (a texture, a pattern, a shape, etc., depending on how you have approached your search for materials) and put all the ideas that fit within those parameters on one design board. Then try a different set of choices on a second board–and maybe one more after that. See what you like best. See what works best for you. If you like one set of ideas, you now have a narrower set of choices to work with.
And here’s one more idea: Hire a professional to work with you if you find the entire process too much for you. Wedding planners are very good at narrowing down the field based on your preferences and can help you to focus your search for venues and vendors and to guide your design process. There are a lot of decisions to be made as you plan a large event like a wedding. It helps to have a guide who has done this before.
May 14, 2018 | Accessibility, wedding planning
Consider the needs of everyone at your party. (Photo by Peter Coombs.)
I’ve been thinking a lot about accessibility lately: How is the world accessible for some people and not for others? What can we do to make it more accessible for everyone? Even weddings and other happy occasions need some attention to make sure that everyone who is invited can get there and then enjoy themselves.
The most obvious kind of accessibility–the one that comes to everyone’s mind first–is mobility accessibility. Does your venue have flights of stairs it is necessary to navigate in order to get to where the events are? Are there elevators or ramps that allow people with wheels to get there? You might also want to notice if there is a lot of walking involved, since some people can’t walk long distances. Sometimes even the walking surface can be an issue. I worked on a wedding where the matron of honor was able to walk on smooth surfaces without a problem, but she had difficulty crossing a stretch of grass to get to where the ceremony was. These are all things to think about when you are choosing your venue, or deciding what parts of it to use.
Mobility limitations are not the only kinds of disability you can think about when making decisions about your wedding or event. Are there people who don’t tolerate noisy environments well? (Consider both people who have hearing loss and neurodivergent people, for starters.) What can you do to make sure everyone is comfortable with the noise levels? What about lighting levels? People with limited vision might appreciate having enough light to see by.
I’ve noticed a trend toward weddings that don’t have assigned seats for a formal, sit-down dinner. If this is your plan, you’ll probably want to make sure that there are dedicated seats for the people who can’t stand up for long periods of time.
I’m only scratching the surface here thinking about accessibility in weddings and parties. When you consider your guest list, you may think of many other ways you can be considerate to your guests by making your event accessible to them. Perhaps the most important thing you can do is to let your guests know that you want them to tell you if they have specific needs. Even if you can’t solve all their problems, you can do your best to make sure they have a good time.
May 7, 2018 | About me
This is me, making my very best radio face! (Photo by Jamie Davis if Greenhouse Loft Photography.)
Out of the blue last week, I got a call from an internet radio producer asking if I’d like to be interviewed on the radio. Would I ever! So, I’m booked for an interview around 2:30 (Central Time) on All Business Media FM. If you can’t catch the interview live, it’ll be in their archives after a week or so. If you have the chance to listen to it, please let me know what you think!
May 3, 2018 | About me
Image by theblondephotographer.com
Did you miss me? With the new website and all the back end things that needed to be worked out, I wasn’t able to post anything new on the blog for a couple of weeks. Not a lot to say right now, but I’ll be back to regular posts soon!
Apr 2, 2018 | Budget Planning
Is this what your planning notebook looks like? If you need help getting organized, hire a planner for a consultation. (Photo Courtesy of sprungphoto.com.)
Something I run into frequently with couples who are on a budget is the dilemma they face when researching vendors. They don’t have room in their budget for a wedding planner or even a coordinator, but they would benefit from a professional’s recommendations for their various wedding vendors.
I know this happens frequently, because in online forums where wedding professionals congregate, I’ll often run across a florist or a photographer asking for vendor recommendations for their clients. (After all, it’s not really a florist’s job to help their client with vendors. They provide flowers and decorations. Planners are the experts on recommending vendors.) When questioned, they always say that their clients can’t afford a planner and they just wanted to help out.
While I applaud the generous spirit of my fellow wedding vendors, I’d like to suggest an alternative. If you can’t afford to hire a planner, you can still get professional advice at a very low cost. You can hire me or just about any reputable planner for an hour or two and get the names of as many wedding vendors as you need. And this service will often cost less than $200, sometimes even less than $100, depending on what you need. You may also end up getting some good advice on planning thrown in.
Consultations are a real bargain for the quality of information you can get. I would guess that they often pay for themselves, as a good planner might save you some expensive mis-steps with their advice.
A planner is generally also an organizer, and if you just need help getting organized, an hour or two of a planner’s time might make your life much easier.
And don’t feel like it’s not worth our time. I can’t speak for all planners, but I am thrilled to help people get started on their planning journey or solve a sticky problem. It’s a good use of my time if you walk away knowing your wedding will be better because of it.
My consultation rates are still only $50 per hour, and I’ll work for as little as one hour at a time. If you think this service would be useful to you, please get in touch. It would be my privilege to help you!
Mar 26, 2018 | Eco-Friendly Events, Other Events
Here’s what we had on the tables on Saturday night. Photo by Darren Day Photography.
One of the things I do with my skills is volunteer my time to the Rogers Park Food Co-op. I’m currently the chair of the Events Committee for this start-up business. In case you don’t know how food co-ops work, here’s a short summary:
A co-op is a community-owned business. The backing for it comes not from a corporation or from billionaire investors but from individual share sales to members of the community. As you can imagine, this is hard work. In order to make it work, it is necessary for hundreds or thousands of people to come together, raise money, and make it all happen. And it is all powered by volunteers.
Once a year, we have our Annual Owner Celebration, a gathering for everyone who has bought a share in the business. It is a time to make sure everyone knows what is going on and to energize everyone to work toward our goals. And my small committee plans everything.
It’s a big deal event: rental venue, catering, photography, decor, speakers, meeting activities, tons of stuff to be transported, dozens of volunteers, and so on. We were expecting 130 people to show up at 6:00 at the Levy Center in Evanston. Set-up started at 4:00.
But, at 2:30, my phone rang, a call from an Evanston Park District manager with some very bad news. Levy Center was closed for the rest of the day because of a MAJOR sewer back-up that affected the entire building. The bathrooms were unusable; the kitchen was unusable; the entire building (reportedly) smelled of sewage. Plumbers were on the job but they would not be finished any time soon–and then the place had to be cleaned up.
It was the exact script of the event planner’s nightmare. That’s how it always goes in bad dreams. Only, in the actual nightmare, no one will help you, there is no equipment, and you flail about trying to salvage an impossible situation. Reality was actually much better.
The saving grace was that they were able to offer the use of another park district facility at the other end of town. The room is not as nice; the sound system is not great (and one of the reasons I wanted to use the Levy Center was their excellent sound system); and there’s no real kitchen. But at least it was a room that could accommodate our needs.
City staff hauled the tables from Levy to Chandler, brought in the sound system, and were generally very helpful. We just had the enormous task of making sure all 130 people knew about the change in plans!
Five or six of us from the committee and the board got on a conference call and worked out an emergency communications and transportation plan in about half an hour. I was texting and emailing volunteers all during that time, too. I notified catering and photographer (almost forgot the photographer!), scrambled my stuff together, and got there in time to re-do the ground plan on the fly and start wrangling volunteers.
And then, after all that, we had our event. No, no, I’m not tired at all. Why do you ask?
Mar 19, 2018 | Weddings
Candles look nice, but are they the best idea?
So, you’re planning your dream eco-friendly wedding, and you have the organic flowers, local food, and composting service all lined up. What could make it even greener? Giving some thought to making your wedding less toxic.
Now, I’m not talking about industrial waste or anything like that. But some people are more sensitive to toxins in the environment than others. Even small amounts of substances that are found everywhere can be too much for those people. And there are things you can do to reduce them. It’s not just good for your sensitive guests, it’s good for everyone. And if you’re one of those highly sensitive people getting married, you probably already know about this, but I hope you’ll find the reminders helpful as you plan.
So, what could be toxic at your wedding? Let’s start with the candles on the tables at your reception. Chances are, they are wax candles made from petroleum. When you burn them, they give off–you guessed it!–petroleum smoke. And that is one of the things that’s toxic in a small way. Consider soy candles, beeswax candles, or flameless LED candles, instead. They all have pros and cons, but they are all better than paraffin wax candles on the toxicity scale.
Here’s another one: Perfume. Synthetic scents are among the worst offenders for people who have a low tolerance. Even essential oils can cause problems. That applies to scented candles or decorations, as well as personal care products. Sure, they smell nice, but what’s in them? A professor at the University of Washington has started analyzing some of them and found some disturbing results. Suffice it to say, you’re better off without a lot of synthetic fragrances.
Here’s another one you might not think of: Has your venue been renovated recently? Is there fresh paint or new carpeting? Often, those are things that give off volatile organic compounds, sometimes for months after they are used or installed. If you want a non-toxic wedding or event, you might have to ask venues some probing questions before you sign a contract.
If having a non-toxic wedding is important to you, I can help. If you need a guide, this is something I know a lot about. It’s not always easy to navigate this area, whether you are planning a wedding or doing anything else. The good news is that it is worthwhile to think about it in advance to make your celebration accessible to all your guests–or to keep yourself healthy.
Mar 12, 2018 | Weddings
This was one of the most popular posts I ever wrote. I have updated it with new information.
What do you do with leftover mini-cakes? Photo by HappyBuddy Photo Art.
One thing that often gets overlooked in party and event planning is what happens after the party is over. If you are planning a wedding, party, or other large event, now would be a good time to think about what happens when the fun is done. Beyond the basic logistical question of who is going to transport stuff from one place to another, there are the considerations of what to do with left over items. Here are my thoughts on several of categories of those items.
Food: If you didn’t run out of food at your party (heaven forfend!), then there will be leftovers. It would be a shame to throw them out. In some places, a local food bank can pick up your extra food and distribute it to food pantries and shelters. (See the Feeding America food bank locator to find a local food bank.) Some states and municipalities do not allow this practice, though, and not all food banks are set up to handle it, so check with your food bank ahead of time. And unless you’re a food safety expert, don’t try it on your own. Even if you can’t distribute your leftovers to hungry strangers, you can probably find some friends and relatives who would be happy to take some of it. Prepare for this possibility by having appropriate containers available, and instruct your caterer how to distribute extra food. Whatever you do, talk to your caterer ahead of time!
Flowers and other decorations: The nicest way to take care of flowers and other centerpieces is to donate them to a local hospital or nursing home. As with donating food, this is both eco-friendly and socially responsible. Not only do flowers get a second use, but they may also brighten the day of someone who could use a little cheer. Perhaps you already have a relationship with an institution where you can send your flowers. At one wedding that I coordinated, they announced at the reception that all the flowers would go to the hospital where a family member had received treatment in his last illness. It seemed like a most fitting thing to do. If you don’t have the resources to do this yourself, in Chicago and a few other cities, there is an organization called Random Acts of Flowers who will do it for you.
Favors: Extra party favors can be a real problem. This is one area where you will really need to plan ahead. For one thing, you will almost definitely have extra favors. If you plan for one per guest, there will be some guests who don’t take one, or who take one for a household, instead of one per person. But you don’t want to have too few, either. When deciding what kind of favor to give your guests, consider how easy the extras will be to get rid of. If you have a common item that is usable by anyone (like decorated pencils, for instance), then you can give away extras on Freecycle or to an organization that can use them (like your local school). Food favors are even more difficult to get rid of than catered food. Novelty items will probably be sitting in the back of your closet for years. You might need to turn to an organization like Special E in order to find a second use for some of these things. One couple I worked with gave away beeswax candles (tied with ribbons in their wedding colors, of course). There were plenty remaining at the end of the evening, but I imagine they were perfectly happy to have a supply of such a useful item.
Decor and Clothing: If you have decor items (candles, table runners, pennants, table numbers, etc.), clothing or jewelry, you can donate them to The Great Wedding Recyclery in Chicago. They are sold to people who want sustainable and inexpensive wedding items and the proceeds benefit the Green Wedding Alliance. You can also rent a table at the Recyclery and sell your items yourself. Details are on the website. It’s coming up soon: Sunday, April 22.
Be sure to talk to your planner or coordinator about what happens to everything when the party is over. You can save yourself some headaches, bring joy to friends and strangers, and keep things out of the landfill with just a little extra effort.
Mar 5, 2018 | Weddings
I’m not tired of last summer’s wedding pictures, are you? This is one that really warms my heart. It was a stand-alone reception. The wedding had been a small ceremony at home earlier in the year. This was the big celebration for friends and family. And it was fun! These two women really know how to throw a fantastic party.
The reception was at the Clubhouse at Dolphin Lake in Homewood, with catering provided by the venue. The Cover Girls from Cagen Music provided both background music and a spectacular floor show. Mr. Otis Mack (yes, that Mr. Otis Mack!) was the evening’s MC. Roses are Red Flower Boutique provided all the flowers. Media in Black did videography. All photos are courtesy of Godzroqk Designs Photography.
Here’s the family/wedding party before the guests arrived.
The brides pose by the lake.
Two bridal bouquets.
The head table, with candles and flowers.
The guests tables were well-dressed, too.
A closer look at the centerpieces.
They had heart-shaped measuring spoons for their favors!
The Cover Girls entertained the guests during dinner with their unique floor show. Highly recommended!
This photo doesn’t do them justice, but it gives you a taste of their dancing (while playing violins).
A beautiful sweet table was prepared for dessert.
The happy couple.
Feb 26, 2018 | Weddings
It looks as if we had planned it this way all along, doesn’t it? (Photo courtesy of Gold Grid Studios.)
From time to time I like to share these Success Stories with you. They are all about how your wedding planner saves the day! (Hey, someone’s got to pat me on the back once in a while, even if it’s myself.) Besides, these are the things I really enjoy about my job: I get to make someone’s wedding day better. Here’s one from last summer.
The bride and groom were a fairly laid-back couple, but they were having an enormous wedding at the Notebaert Nature Museum. The ceremony was to be in the courtyard; cocktails inside the museum; and dinner on the rooftop terrace. Naturally, we had back-up rain plans for both the ceremony and dinner.
Well, the weather was extremely iffy. It was quite hot and humid, and there were definitely thunderclouds on the horizon. I had been watching the weather forecast for several days to see if we could predict which way it would go–and it just would not settle down to be one thing. It even changed a couple of times after I checked in the morning of the wedding day.
The ceremony was early enough in the evening that we were pretty sure that we could get it in before there was any rain. So, we set it up outdoors. And, being optimists, the caterer and I decided we would set up dinner outdoors, too. The weather really did look, then, as if it would hold for the evening.
Well, it was really one of those changeable days we get in Chicago in the summer. Sure enough, it got to within half an hour of the ceremony time, and the clouds started to look rather threatening. We took a chance on it, though, and started the ceremony as planned. The musicians were prepared for rain: The keyboard player had some (not-so-decorative) plastic sheeting to cover his instrument, and the violinist informed me she would take her instrument indoors if there was rain. (As I’m well aware, even a drop of rain on the finish of a fine violin can change the tone permanently. Violinists don’t take any chances with their expensive instruments.)
About halfway through the ceremony, the drizzle started, but everyone (except the violinist) stuck it out, and it was a lovely ceremony. Meanwhile, the caterer, my assistant, and I put our heads together about what to do next. I knew the couple had a strong preference for having dinner outdoors. But we looked at the weather radar and the forecast and decided that it would be prudent to move the festivities indoors.
Obviously, I couldn’t consult with the couple; they were busy getting married right at that moment. So, I had to make the call on their behalf. After all, that’s what I do: Look after the best interests of my clients. I took the responsibility and we decided to move all the tables indoors. Thank goodness for a caterer with enough staff to do all that in a short time!
I found the couple during cocktail hour and explained the decision we had made. They were sad about having to change plans, but they understood that it would make their guests a lot happier. I have to say, the mother of the groom was thrilled that she would be spending the evening in air conditioning!
And it all turned out beautifully. The guests were perfectly happy with an indoor reception. It rained enough that no one would have wanted to eat dinner in it. There were still s’mores on the terrace for dessert, so everyone got to enjoy the view. (The rain had stopped by that time, mostly.) Dinner was a success, the dancing was superb, and it was a wonderful wedding.
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