Oct 8, 2018 | Day-of Coordinating
It all looks so effortless, doesn’t it? I enjoy creating that illusion! (Photo by Agnes Malorny Photography.)
There is a lot of misconception in the world about what wedding planners and coordinators do. I think part of the reason people just don’t know what I do is that I try very hard to stay under the radar. If I can solve a problem without anyone knowing about it, I am thrilled. And sometimes I can make things just a little bit better, so I do that invisibly, too. But that means that few people understand the value of hiring me. So, in the interests of tooting my own horn for a few minutes, here are a few things I have done (invisibly, of course!) at weddings just this year so far.
I located a lighter to be used in the wedding ceremony when the couple had not arranged for one.
I worked with the musician on how the music would work for the wedding processional, since the couple had not communicated their wishes to either of us.
After the caterers had set up the reception hall, I counted all the place settings and found the table with an error–and got it fixed before guests had to discover it.
Later, I got a place setting added to a table for an unexpected guest. I even made it happen before the guests arrived at their tables.
Those two things were possible because I had spent a good bit of time before the wedding re-ordering the table lists so that they would be useful for those purposes.
I located the photographers before toasts started, as they thought they had time to take a break right then.
I asked the caterer to reduce the noise they were making during the very quiet song for the couple’s first dance.
At the end of the night, I went around and took down all the directional signs that had been put up for the arriving guests.
I alerted the bus and limo companies to the presence of a street fair near the ceremony venue and gave them directions on where they could wait for their passengers.
I got the temperature of the reception room adjusted when it became clear that the guests were very uncomfortable.
I gave a DJ all of the information he needed about the reception that somehow had not filtered to him from the company hired by the couple.
I packed up desserts for the bride and groom at the end of the reception and gave them to the maid of honor to be taken with them when they left. It was clear to me that they had not had a chance to eat dessert, and they had been excited about it.
I found the correct table for guests when we discovered that the seating chart had an error.
For a reception in a tent in a park, I managed to get the generator started (after 3 or 4 calls to the rental company).
I also arranged for another delivery of ice when the bartenders let me know that we had nearly run out halfway through cocktail hour.
I coached a talented but very green DJ in the art of making wedding reception announcements.
The short version is this: I made sure that all elements were in place for the ceremony; did everything necessary to ensure that the guests were happy; and did what was needed to make sure the couple was happy, as well. And sometimes I wonder why I never sit down when I’m working at a wedding!
Oct 1, 2018 | Non-Traditional Weddings
Sometimes you have to do something a little different at your wedding. Photo by Danielle Heinson.
Last week I wrote about the importance of having the wedding you want and how it can keep you from putting unreasonable pressure on yourself. But there’s another side to the question: How can you convince your families that your choices are right for you? Sometimes when you break with tradition, it’s hard to explain it to your family. And–let’s be real–sometimes it’s not worth it to break tradition if it’s going to make your family unhappy. Only you can decide what’s more important.
If you do decide to have a wedding that your family may not approve of easily, you’ll probably have to explain why you are doing what you are doing. In case you’re in this situation, I’d like to offer a few ideas for ways to present your thoughts in a persuasive manner.
If you’re inviting your family to your wedding, it’s probably because you love them. So let them know that even if you are doing things differently, you still love them and still value their opinions–even if you plan to ignore them entirely. But if you’re getting married, it’s because you are an adult and–as an adult–you get to make your own choices about your life, including your wedding.
You can also point out that your wedding is about you and the person you are marrying. Yes, family is very important, but the central focus of the occasion just happens to be you. You and your future spouse have to agree on what kind of wedding you want and how to accomplish that. I think that this important point is often overlooked: Planning your wedding with your future spouse is the first big test of your marriage. Wedding planning is, in some ways, a trial run for how you will make all the big decisions of your life together. You’re creating a new family unit, and sometimes that means pulling away from your families of origin just enough to make a new life for yourselves.
There is, of course, always the issue of money. If one family or both is paying for the wedding and reception, that changes the dynamics. The person writing the checks always has the power to influence the wedding. So, that is something to consider when you begin your planning. If you don’t think your families will approve, do you want to give them a monetary veto? If you don’t have a choice, you may have to give up some autonomy.
Your wedding is also a reflection of who you are as a couple. Chances are, your families will always have some input into it because you aren’t completely separate from your family. But when you are going to do something they never thought of, be prepared to stand your ground. I hope you’ll have some good arguments now.
Sep 24, 2018 | wedding planning
Here is a bride who had exactly the wedding she wanted. Photo by Ryan Timm Photography.
A funny thing about being a wedding planner is that people I meet for the first time, when they find out what my job is, often ask me whether I have to deal with a lot of bridezillas. And they are always surprised when I inform them that pretty much all of the couples I work with are pleasant, easy to work with, and quite reasonable. Because I have to field this question so often, I have put some thought into why it is that my clients are not, on the whole, anywhere on the bridezilla scale. I’m still not sure I understand it completely, but I have some thoughts.
For one thing, I am the non-traditional wedding planner. It’s not that I don’t believe in traditions. I think traditions are lovely. But I also encourage my clients to break tradition when it suits their purposes. What does this have to do with being easy or difficult to be around? It means that my clients are likely not comparing their wedding plans to some unreasonable standard created by the wedding marketing machine. I think that that standard of perfection puts a lot of pressure on people planning weddings, which sometimes results in bad behavior–especially when there is any chance of something being less than “perfect.” When you create your own standard for how you want your wedding to be, it takes a lot of external pressure off the planning and a lot of pressure off of you.
There is another sort of thing that goes on that also creates bridezillas. This one is a little more complicated. Many people raised female have been told (implicitly and explicitly) their whole lives that what they want doesn’t count, that other people’s opinions and wants are far more important than their own. And so they often don’t learn (or don’t learn by the time they are planning their weddings) to say no to other people or to say yes to themselves.
I think what happens when someone planning a wedding can’t say no to other people is that they end up with a wedding that secretly they hate. It might be “perfect” according to whatever standard they are using, but it isn’t what they wanted because they didn’t start out by saying yes to themselves. And they never learned to say no to whatever other people are pushing. They never learned to do what I always encourage my clients to do: Have the wedding you want, even if it breaks all the rules.
Unfortunately, I’m afraid that what happens under these circumstances is you end up with a woman (it’s almost always a woman) who is miserably unhappy about the perfect wedding she is planning, and she takes out her misery on anyone in the vicinity. And that is one thing we would call bridezilla behavior.
So, here is my advice to you if you are planning your wedding (no matter your gender): Before you sign a single contract, sit down with your partner in life and talk over what kind of wedding you want to have. Bring a planner into the discussion if you think that will help to clarify your thinking. Throw out all the “shoulds” and “have tos” and “everyone does this-es.” Decide how much influence you want your families to have over the planning. And then start to make decisions about the details of your wedding. If you are happy with your wedding, chances are you will make everyone around you happy about it, too.
Sep 17, 2018 | vendors
One of my favorite Evanston weddings was at the Levy Center in South Evanston. Photo by Danielle Heinson.
If you’ve been following along, you might remember that I’ve covered a lot of different wedding and party planning resources in Evanston. I’ve talked about venues, florists, caterers, bakers, musicians, photographers, and restaurants with party rooms. What’s left? Well, everything else.
How about a wedding officiant? If you’re in the market for an Evanston officiant, you might like to know about Chosen with Bonnie Cortez, a non-denominational Life-Cycle Celebrant and Officiant. I met Bonnie years ago through a friend, and then we reconnected recently because our lines of work are so similar. She has the most interesting resume of any wedding vendor I know of, and I know that her varied experience means she brings an unusual depth to her job.
Maybe you’re looking for resources for sustainable events. We have some of those in Evanston, too. If you need composting services (for your home, your business, or your event), the people to get in touch with are at Collective Resource. They have both a minimalist event service, consisting of just drop-off and pick-up of composting buckets, and a full-service option: They can send a person with a compost tote who will make sure that everything possible will get diverted from the landfill. It’s a great service and an easy way to green your events.
Another way to make your events more sustainable–and also located right here in Evanston–is Random Acts of Flowers. This is an organization (I believe it’s a non-profit) that will take flowers left over from your event and send them to a health-care organization to brighten the day of someone who needs some cheer. Please note: If you want RAoF to be able to take your flowers, you have to get in touch with them several weeks in advance and do some paperwork. But if you have leftover vases, they will happily take them any time. Take a look at their website for more information.
Finally, you might be looking for a planner for your wedding, party, or event. As it turns out, I am not the only planner in Evanston. The other one I know of is A Fresh Event.
But don’t forget that I’m also local and available to work in Evanston–or anywhere in the Chicago area. As much as I love my home town, I’m happy to travel where you need me. But if you’re having an Evanston wedding or party, definitely get in touch because there is nothing I love more than working in my home town.
Sep 10, 2018 | Parties and Special Events
The Peckish Pig patio. Photo from the restaurant’s website.
You might think it was all weddings all the time around here, but I have also been known to plan other kinds of parties. In fact, the very first planning job I had was for a birthday party right here in Evanston. That was when I started researching restaurants with party rooms in town.
Well, the scene has changed over the years. Pretty much all the places I found then are gone now, but there are a lot more party rooms–enough to ensure that Evanston party-throwers have plenty of good choices.
In South Evanston there are several good choices for party rooms. Peckish Pig on Howard St. not only has a private party room that is large enough for 100 people (reception-style), but there is also a patio (and I’ve seen tents on the patio)–and their own brewery. It seems to be a popular combination. A lot of times when I go by the restaurant, the party room is in use.
For up to 50 people for dinner, Campagnola on Chicago Ave. has a quiet, second-floor party room. As I recall from the last time I was there, the only way to get up to the second floor is by stairs, so the party room is not accessible to everyone. If this is suitable for your party, though, it is a very nice room and the food is excellent.
An equally inaccessible but more casual option is the party room at Firehouse Grill. (What is it with the second-floor-no-elevator party rooms?) For a laid-back party with pub food and a bar, this would be a good choice.
Naturally, in downtown Evanston, there are even more options. Terra and Vine has a number of smaller party rooms for parties as small as 10 or as large as 140 (seated) if all the rooms are combined.
Farmhouse Evanston also has some smaller rooms. It looks like the largest dinner party they can accommodate is 55–or 65 for a reception. I haven’t been to this second-floor space, so I don’t know much more about it than what is on their website. It does look cozy.
Another downtown restaurant with small party rooms is Found Kitchen. They are able to seat as many as 50 people for dinner. I’ve heard raves about the food here, too. That’s not surprising for a restaurant that is a fixture in this city.
And then there are the tiny rooms at Hearth Restaurant. The largest room seats 30 people for dinner. The smallest one seats only 14. But sometimes that’s just the right size for your party.
Finally, Smylie Brothers Brewing Co. has more of a lounge feel in their second-floor mezzanine. You could have 85 guests there, as long as they don’t all want to sit down at once. There is also a private dining room that seats 30 guests.
As always, this is only a sample of what is available. There are other restaurants, breweries, and probably various other establishments where you can rent a room (often for only the cost of the food and beverage minimum) and throw a great party. Birthday parties, anniversary parties, baby showers, and even small weddings would be right at home in any of these locations. And you have a host of styles and menus to choose from.
Sep 3, 2018 | vendors
The people who carry stuff from place to place rarely get the credit they deserve.
I’m always happy to celebrate Labor Day, and all the working people who make possible much of our good lives. Here are the people I really appreciate when I’m on site at a wedding: the kitchen staff; the bartenders; the florist’s set-up and tear-down crew; the building engineers who take care of heating and cooling and make sure the lights are working; the security guards; the people who set up and clean portable restrooms; the delivery drivers; anyone who carries heavy stuff from a truck to a room or back out again; the sound engineers; the good people who come in at the end of the night to clean the floors and take out the trash.
Most of the time all of these excellent people are invisible to an event. They aren’t glamorous. But they are all indispensable. Today is a day to celebrate their contributions to your party, wedding, or other event. Happy Labor Day to all of you!!
Aug 27, 2018 | vendors
A sample of Evanstonian BLURfoto’s work. (I didn’t get to work with this lovely couple, though.)
I’ve covered venues, food, florists, and music so far in my survey of Evanston wedding and party vendors. Another big category is photographers. And, once more, Evanston delivers the goods. I found a generous handful of event and wedding photographers here. I have not yet had the pleasure of working with most of them, but maybe one day I will.
I did get to work with Aubrey Navarro of BlurFoto just a couple of weeks ago on a wedding. I haven’t seen the photos yet, but Aubrey was great to work with and really helped me to work out the photography schedule with the couple when they asked for a lot of photos in a very short amount of time. I can’t wait to see the photos! I’m betting that they will be great, based on the website galleries.
Another photographer whose name has come up in discussions of Evanston vendors is Jeremy Lawson. He appears to be based both on the West Coast and in the Chicago area, but I still think he counts as local–at least part of the time. While I haven’t worked with him, the thing that catches my eye about his work is that he has not only an eye for setting and character, but his photos are full of humor. I chuckled as I went through his galleries. To me, that’s a huge recommendation.
I go by Jill Norton Photography‘s studio frequently, as she is in my neighborhood. It looks as if she does mainly portrait work and social event photography, but she does showcase wedding work on her website.
And this is just a sample of the photographers in Evanston. If you know of others, or if you are a wedding photographer in Evanston, please comment so I can find the rest. I’m always interested in working with local people!
Aug 20, 2018 | vendors
Photo by Studio Finch.
We are so lucky, here in Evanston, IL, to have not one, not two, not even just three, but a minimum of four wedding bands in our little city. And those are just the large, splashy companies that have a variety of ensembles, large and small, and even DJs. There is a wide variety of musical talent here.
First, the big outfits. I have to give pride of place to Stitely Entertainment, because I’ve worked with them the most often, although mainly their top-notch DJs. But I know the quality of their music from having heard owner Jeff Stitely, a drummer, play in various venues. He’s a serious musician and he hires other musicians of the same caliber.
But if Stitely is booked on your event day, try Arlen Music. I used to work with them when I worked at Navy Pier and they played there, and they were always fun to have play.
Also in Evanston is Bill Pollack Music. I don’t think I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with them, but I know that you don’t stick around for 20 years in this business without getting good reviews. Another band I have not yet worked with is Rendezvous Music.
If you are looking for something completely different, you might want to have Jutta and the Hi-Dukes play at your celebration. They are right here in Evanston, and they play a huge variety of ethnic music (and teach the dances that go with the music, too). They are the only band I’ve ever heard play klezmer music and Danish folk music–on the same program.
I have to wonder if the quantity and quality of musicians in Evanston has anything to do with the fact that Northwestern University’s music school is turning out amazing musicians every year. In fact, if you’re looking for a small ensemble, you can hire NU musicians to play. I have not had a chance to do this yet, but it looks like it would be a good deal for everyone.
Whatever the reason, Evanston musicians are worth a look and a listen. I have the feeling you can’t go wrong.
Aug 13, 2018 | vendors
Yum! (Photo by Christy Tyler Photography.)
I was very surprised to learn, as I researched this subject, that there are only a few caterers doing business in the city of Evanston. That’s not to say that you can’t find a caterer here, because any of them will come to Evanston, but, for some reason, almost no one has set up shop in town to do catering. I do know of a few, but the funny thing, for me, is that I’ve never worked with any of them. I think I’ll have to work on that! Here are the ones I know about.
The first one I heard of is Feast & Imbibe. They have a space in northwest Evanston, and it looks as if they are on the verge of opening up a venue there, too. I like the vibe they give off. It feels very Evanstonian.
There is also The Caterist, which I’ve also heard good things about. It’s kind of amazing that I’ve never crossed paths with them, since they work at a lot of venues where I’ve worked regularly.
And then there is a catering company that is entirely new to me. I knew that Foodstuffs has a store selling gourmet groceries on Central St. in Evanston. It has been there a long time (30 years, according to their website), and I’ve been by there many times. What I didn’t know is that they also have a catering division, Foodstuffs Events & Catering, that offers full-service catering. Who knew? Now we all do.
In addition, we have a plethora of good bakeries in Evanston. My neighbor, Tracy Sampson, runs Yum Squared Bakery. From everything I’ve heard about her, this is a bakery worth considering. I love the fact that she uses organic ingredients when possible and offers both vegan and dairy-free options. And her Instagram is slathered in photos of beautiful cookies, cakes, and cupcakes.
Another option for lovely-looking cookies is Primadonna Custom Cookies, a small-batch baker in town. (Link is to Instagram. I couldn’t find a website.)
And, of course, I can’t overlook the old stalwarts of the Evanston bakery scene. Bennison’s Bakery has been on Davis St. in downtown Evanston since 1938! They are a solid, old-fashioned bakery of the best kind. The lines are always out the door on Saturday mornings. And Tag’s Bakery has been on Central St. since 1937. (This one was my hangout after school when I was in middle school.)
Again, I am only scratching the surface of bakeries. There are small and specialty bakeries all over town. Everyone has their favorite. We’re lucky to live in a city that has so many resources and so many talented people who have decided to set up shop here. One things is for sure: Evanston eats well!
Aug 6, 2018 | vendors
Here is some more Evanston love for you this week. I’m talking about all the terrific florists who have chosen to operate their businesses here. We’re lucky to have so many–and these are only the ones I’m personally familiar with! I know there are even more.
It’s hard to choose a favorite out of this bunch, so I’ll start with the two I’ve worked with the most. I always like to recommend Mille Fiori on Central St. because they do excellent work and somehow always manage to say “Yes” to a project, even in the middle of the summer at the last minute. Hardly a wedding season goes by that I don’t do at least one wedding with them.
Centerpieces and mantlepiece arrangement by Mille Fiori Flowers. (Photo by Agnes Malorny Photography.)
I don’t get to work with Sarah at Four Finches as often, but that is because she has a very different business model. She concentrates on one wedding at a time (I think one per weekend) so that she can work her magic. She is very hands-on on the day of the wedding, as well–something any planner will appreciate! And did I mention that her flowers are always stunning? That’s the important thing to know.
A gorgeous floral arrangement by Four Finches. (Photo by Studio Finch. Cheese display by Catered by Design.)
I’ve only worked with Ixia Flowers once, a number of years ago, but I was impressed enough to make sure to keep them on my list. I wish I had a nice photo to show you, but that wedding was the one without a professional photographer (and my photos don’t at all do justice to the work).
I also had the good fortune to work with May Floral last year. While the business is located in Chicago, Lovely Bastian, the owner, lives in Evanston. I think that counts! She was a treat to work with, and I loved her flowers! They were just right for the occasion. She also found just the right blossoms for our mutual clients’ one-of-a-kind flower lantern.
Just the right bouquet for this bride. (Photo by Cage+Aquarium.)
And, in a couple of weeks, I’ll be working with Joanne of FlowersFlowers in downtown Evanston. I can’t show you photos of her work yet (but stay tuned later in the year when I start posting wedding photos!), but here is what she says about why she is in Evanston, “Evanston chose me! FlowersFlowers had been in existence for over 5 years when I bought it, and I decided that Evanston was the perfect city for my shop, with its lively downtown, diverse demographics, and a general appreciation for the beautiful and unique flowers in my shop.”
That sums up what a lot of us love about this town. And if that weren’t enough, here are a few more florists that I don’t know personally: Preston’s Flowers and Gifts on Central St.; Saville Flowers downtown (which has been there since long before I was a kid); West End Florist & Garden Center (so far in northwest Evanston that you might mistake it for Glenview); and Bloom 3 on Chicago Ave. I think we have almost enough florists here!
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