Another Reason You Want a Planner

Your vendors want to provide you with the best service.  Photo by hannahelaine photography (hannahelaine.com).

Your vendors want to provide you with the best service. Photo by hannahelaine photography (hannahelaine.com).

One of the things no one ever talks about is the automatic sort of insurance that comes with hiring a wedding planner or coordinator.  It’s not foolproof, but if you have a planner as part of your team, it can keep other vendors on their best behavior.  Other vendors rely on planners to refer them for future work, so they are often careful not to pull any funny business.  Of course, there are exceptions, and I have written about some of them in the past.  But having a planner and the power of internet reviews are often enough to ensure that you are getting the best service from your vendors.

DIY Weddings: Catering

Of all the things you might want to do yourself for your wedding, the one I would recommend against without hesitation is catering your wedding reception yourself.  You might think this would be obvious, but I have talked to people who thought they could do this.

Did I mention that presentation is a professional catering skill?  Photo courtesy of Artisan Events.

Did I mention that presentation is a professional catering skill? Photo courtesy of Artisan Events.

I have actually heard of self-catered weddings that were pulled off with a lot of help from friends and family.  I know it can be done, especially if there are people with special skills involved.  So, I won’t say you should never, ever do it.  I’m just going to give you a lot of reasons not to.

Caterers do a lot more than cook in quantity.  They also manage the kitchen, order and return rental items, keep the food (and so your reception) on schedule, hire and manage serving and bar staff, set up tables, chairs and linens, set the tables, and clean up.  Caterers also have food sanitation licenses, meaning there is a low probability of spoiled food or food poisoning from their kitchens.  They know how much ice to buy and bring.  Some of them own serving equipment that they provide at no charge.

And that is just the minimum of what a professional caterer has to offer.  I would say that unless you are able to provide everything a caterer brings to the table, hire a professional and save cooking for a crowd for another party.

Is Eco-Friendly Expensive?

A tent wedding can be a green option.

A tent wedding can be a green option.

One concern I hear about having eco-friendly events is that it is going to be too expensive to be eco-conscious.  While it is true that some environmentally friendly choices are more expensive, others are less expensive.  There are always trade-offs, and, in the end, it is up to you to make the choices.

Organic food and flowers are almost certainly more expensive than conventionally grown or raised food and flowers.  Organic growing is more labor-intensive, and so the price goes up.  Also, retailers raise the price of organics when they can because it is a niche market.  But much of the increased cost is due to the high quality of the product.  On the other hand, local food and flowers in season may be less expensive than their counterparts from distant locations because of the lower transportation costs.  You can get local, organic; local, non-organic; or organic, non-local products.  Each of these is more environmentally friendly than non-local and non-organic products, so you can figure out what best meets your budget and your expectations.

When you’re thinking about decor, you can save money and go green by reducing the quantity of decor items at your celebration and by reducing the potential waste. For example, edible or grow-able favors with minimal (or reusable) packaging might save you money over an elaborate knick-knack that may end up in the landfill.  Finding a location that doesn’t require much decoration can save you a lot of money (and time) on decor.

A little creative thinking can both save you money and increase your green quotient.  And you don’t have to have a perfectly green event.  There are always trade-offs and purity shouldn’t be the goal.  But if there’s something you can do that suits your style and your budget, you can be just a little more green.

Stress Buster!

Even if you're accomplished dancers, dance lessons are fun.  Photo by Happy Buddy PhotoArt.

Even if you're accomplished dancers, dance lessons are fun. Photo by Happy Buddy PhotoArt.

A client of mine wanted me to share with you her best stress-busting tip.  She had a short engagement and a rather stressful time planning her wedding (on top of a demanding job).  She said that the best thing she and her fiance did was take weekly dance lessons.  Sure, it takes some time out of your week, but it’s a time to enjoy being with the one you love and it really blows off some steam.  And then, come your wedding day, you can show off all your new dance moves!

Wedding Planning Tips (sixth of a series)

Every wedding planner has a calendar or timeline laying out the important steps necessary to plan a wedding and reception. The timeline is an important part of planning your wedding, but there are other equally important things to think about in order to have the wedding you really want. Here is one more of them:

It's not your average wedding cake, for sure!

It's not your average wedding cake, for sure!

Make your wedding personal. Everyone knows what a wedding is “supposed” to be like, but some of the nicest weddings I have been to have broken the rules. Brides don’t have to wear white, nor do grooms need to wear tuxes. There is no requirement that a wedding be a formal affair. If you want to have a picnic in the park, just make sure you have a rain plan. Wedding cake doesn’t have to look like the classic wedding dress. In fact, if you don’t like cake, serve pie or jello, instead. I’ve never been to a wedding where there were no flowers, but if you don’t like the idea of carrying a bouquet, there are lots of other ways to work flowers into your day. Everyone from your mother to the lady at the grocery checkout will tell you how your wedding ought to be. Listen politely, but if you have other ideas, follow your heart until you get the wedding of your dreams.

DIY Weddings: Music

After decor, the most frequent kind of DIY I see at weddings is in the music.  I have coordinated many weddings where all the music was provided by a laptop or MP3 player.  At the risk of alienating my musician and DJ friends, I have to say that this is one area where you can get away with doing it yourself.  But there are definitely things to be aware of if this is your plan.

The important thing is that everyone is having a good time.  Photo by Magical Moments Photography.

The important thing is that everyone is having a good time. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.

A professional DJ or band brings to your wedding two very large advantages:  a sound system and a Master of Ceremonies.  These things can be arranged for otherwise, but by paying professionals you are also obtaining these two important things.

Sound systems can be rented (for a price), but you also need someone to set up and run the sound system.  You will have to put in a good bit of time in advance making play lists.  And someone needs to press “play” on the MP3 player.  One drawback of DIY music is that the play lists are all made in advance and they can’t respond to the mood on the dance floor the way a DJ can.

You might have a friend who is an appropriate choice for MC.  You will need someone to make announcements at your wedding.  Typical announcements include:  introducing the bridal party; announcing the cake cutting; introducing those who are making toasts; announcing the bouquet and garter tosses; and any other important events that happen at the reception.  If you have a friend act as MC, it might be important to impress upon her or him the necessity of remaining fairly sober until all the announcements have been made.

DIY music is definitely a viable option for your wedding reception.  (And don’t overlook another way to do it yourself:  If you have musician friends, ask if they can play for the ceremony or the reception.)  As with any kind of DIY project, it requires forethought and planning and some extra time to make it happen.

Vendors I Know: Four Finches

Four Finches, as seen on their website.

Four Finches, as seen on their website.

Recently, I met the creative folks at Four Finches, a flower shop in Evanston.  Okay, to call it a flower shop is missing the point.  Sarah, the owner, has transformed a warehouse space into an alluring oasis of flowers, antiques, gifts, birds, candy, and about a thousand other beautiful items.  I could spend hours in there looking at the pretty things.

I’ve also worked with her on a wedding and loved her floral arrangements.  I think part of the reason she can do such beautiful work is because she is committed to doing only one wedding or major event per weekend.  I noticed when I first met her how focused she is on the wedding she is working on at the moment.  She did not miss a detail.  And, for all that, her prices are very competitive.

When I visited the shop, Sarah showed me some of the new flowers she is trying out, including a purple clematis and flowering amaranth.  I expect to see original arrangements out of her shop because she is always trying out new things. For those who want sustainable flowers, it’s not her primary focus, but on request she will find local and organic flowers.

If you need flowers for an occasion (or nice cards or gifts or…), take a peek at Four Finches.  Oh, and there really are finches in the shop, just usually more than four of them.

Wedding Planning Tips (fifth of a series)

You might need a little help to get to this point.  Photo courtesy of christytylerphotography.com.

You might need a little help to get to this point. Photo courtesy of christytylerphotography.com.

Every wedding planner has a calendar or timeline laying out the important steps necessary to plan a wedding and reception. The timeline is an important part of planning your wedding, but there are other equally important things to think about in order to have the wedding you really want. Here is one more of them:

Hiring a wedding planner is the same hiring as any other wedding vendor. Have an idea of the kinds of help you need before you call. You probably won’t have all the answers yet, but that is why you are hiring an event planning professional. If you want someone who knows all about bridal fashion and the latest trends, be sure they are credentialed by one of the bridal planning associations. If, on the other hand, you have your own ideas about style, keep looking until you find a wedding planner with an open mind and innovative ideas. Experience counts, too. It is possible to learn a lot about event planning from books and lectures, but nothing beats hands-on experience. Also, find out if the wedding planner you are thinking about hiring has ever been married. I think that a wedding planner who has gotten married has a better understanding of the process of getting married–and a better understanding of the pitfalls along the way.

Wedding Pitfalls: Fake Etiquette

Get what you love for your wedding, not what someone tells you that you need.

Get what you love for your wedding, not what someone tells you that you need.

Have you ever run across one of those “wedding etiquette” web pages?  Some vendors of wedding products have etiquette tips on their websites.  Many of them have useful information.  But some of them are wedding planning traps.

Watch out for sales pitches disguised as etiquette requirements.  For example, an invitation seller might tell you that etiquette “requires” you to have a second, inner envelope for your invitation, which they will be happy to sell you.  Or a florist could push etiquette as the reason to have corsages for every female member of your family.  I’m just making up examples here to give you an idea of what to look out for.  There are many forms this trap could take.

If you want solid etiquette advice, I recommend borrowing an etiquette book from the library or buying one, if you think you’ll use it again.  Emily Post has the classic guides to etiquette.  You might also enjoy Miss Manners on Painfully Proper WeddingsI’ll write more on real etiquette another day.  In the meantime, keep your eyes open for the fake kind.

DIY Weddings: Flowers

Do-It-Yourself is all the rage.  And there are lots of things you can do yourself for your own wedding (or a friend’s). But there are some DIY ideas that require a little more thought before implementation.  This is the second post in a series on the beauties and pitfalls of DIY.

Perhaps because her livelihood is on the line, a florist friend of mine refers to DIY wedding flowers as “f— it up yourself” flowers.  And because I don’t want to anger all my florist colleagues, I am going to agree with her–up to a point.

This is a professionally designed and created floral display.  Photo by Magical Moments Photography.

This is a professionally designed and created floral display. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.

The reason you hire a professional floral designer is because they have specialized knowledge.  It’s true that you can send someone to the farmer’s market on the morning of your wedding to pick up flowers.  But will the buds all be open?  Florists know how to time the opening of flowers so your wedding flowers look picture-perfect.  And do you really want to be tying bouquets on the morning of your wedding?

There is nothing wrong with this bridesmaid's bouquet that the bride made.

There is nothing wrong with this bridesmaid's bouquet that the bride made.

On the other hand, I have seen DIY flowers that are perfectly nice.  It all depends on the look you are going for.  If you want a home-made look or a casual feel, your flowers might end up the way you want them if you do them yourself.  If you have special training in art, design, or floral arrangement, you’re probably ahead of the curve.  But this is one area where I would recommend to most people to hire a professional, especially if the flowers are important to you.

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