Dec 11, 2017 | Weddings
Committed 2017 had gorgeous displays by talented vendors! Photo by Genevieve Lauren Photography.
Remember the fabulous wedding show put on every year by the Green Wedding Alliance? Well, the 2018 show is coming right up. You can put Sunday, January 21, 2018 on your calendar right now.
The event will be at Greenhouse Loft, 2545 W. Diversey Ave., 2nd Floor. It’s a beautiful venue and just right for this event. Committed gives you a sneak peek at some of the finest wedding vendors in Chicago, all of whom are themselves committed to sustainable practices.
Here are some more photos from last year’s event, to whet your appetite. All photos by Genevieve Lauren Photography.
Dec 4, 2017 | Eco-Friendly Events
Photo by Ryan Timm Photography.
Okay, so technically this is not just a resource for weddings, events, and parties. It’s for everyone, all the time. And it’s not glamorous. I’m talking about the Solid Waste Agency of Northern Cook County (or SWANNC). Even for people who don’t live in Northern Cook County, this website has a huge amount of information that is useful.
There is a directory of resources for reusing and recycling that covers everything from Appliances and Automobiles through Fire extinguishers, Make-up containers, and Shoes to Wood recycling and Yard waste. Many of the resources are local, but many can be found regionally or nationally. My favorite discovery so far is places you can take polystyrene (Styrofoam) to be downcycled into other materials.
If you look under business resources, you will also find a Green Meeting Guide and a Zero Waste Event Guide. They are designed for use by businesses and mostly for corporate events, but there are some good tips that would also be useful for social events. Check them out if you’re planning a party and want to go green.
If you have questions about recycling, about donating goods, about composting–about pretty much anything that has to do with disposing of things–check out SWANNC and make them part of your next party.
Nov 27, 2017 | wedding planning
I’m re-running some old posts since I think they have some useful information. Here’s one from a few years ago that never goes out of style:
This bakery had a good contract–and good chocolate! Photo by Carasco Photography.
I want to share with you some information I give to many of my clients. It’s on a subject that is hardly glamorous, but is very, very important: Contracts. I’m not a contract lawyer, but this is what I have learned by experience.
When you are planning a big celebration, you will have to deal with a number of vendors, and each one of them should give you a contract. And each one will require a certain amount of your attention. You should read carefully each contract you are given. Make sure you agree with every point in it before you sign it. Because once you sign it, it becomes a legally binding document that might be very hard to get out of. It’s much better to negotiate it before you sign it.
And all contracts are negotiable, no matter what your vendor says. The point of a contract is to come to an agreement between parties, so don’t be afraid to negotiate your part of the agreement. I’m not saying that you can get everything you want into (or out of) every contract, but you don’t have to take whatever they give you without a murmur if you don’t like it.
Every contract should contain a certain minimum of information. It should have the vendor’s name, address, and phone number on it. If the vendor wants you to contact them some other way than by phone, that information should also be on the contract so it is easily available. The contract should also state clearly exactly what the vendor is going to do for you and when they are going to do it. Likewise, it should say how much you are expected to pay and when.
It is a good idea to include details in the contract: When and where will deliveries be made? Will the vendor only bring their goods to the venue or will they also set things up? If you change your mind and want something extra, what happens? And what will it cost? What happens if one party or the other fails to live up to the agreement? Finally, the contract should be signed and dated by both parties.
Florists and bakeries (in my experience) are notorious for offering incomplete contracts. Often, small shops don’t have the resources to put together complete contracts. In this case, you should not hesitate to hand write the missing information onto the contract before it is signed, and make sure the vendor initials the changes. This will protect both of you.
I learned some of this from my dealings with a certain florist. What passed for a contract from this florist was just a list of floral options and prices, with one of them circled. There was no information on delivery or set-up. I understood from my client that the florist was going to bring all the floral arrangements into the venue and I would set them up. I even discussed delivery with the shop in the week before the wedding. Oddly, no one mentioned that the centerpieces weighed between 50 and 100 pounds, somewhat more than I can carry on my own. The owner of the shop showed up with the centerpieces, carried them down a flight of steps, and placed them where they belonged. I thought all was well. Five days after the wedding, I got an e-mail from the floral shop asking for additional payment because the owner had had to do extra work on the delivery. Fortunately, I had a copy of their contract and was able to explain that they should not expect to recoup their losses from me. It also might have been better if a complaint had been made on the spot so I could have solved the problem before it happened.
That experience is also one of the reasons I always insist on having copies of every contract that a client has with their vendors. I can head off a lot of trouble if I know exactly what is expected of each vendor. So, read your contracts, make sure you agree with their contents, and send a copy on to your planner. You’ll be happy you did.
Nov 20, 2017 | About me
I’d like to wish a happy Thanksgiving to one and all. It’s the season of gratitude, so I’d like to say that I’m very grateful for all my clients–past and future–who trust me with the planning and management of their weddings and other celebrations. It’s an honor to participate in your happy occasion. And I’m grateful for the ability to earn a living helping people throw parties, and helping them solve the sometimes thorny problems that come between them and the celebration they are imagining.
Thank you to everyone and enjoy your Thanksgiving!
Nov 13, 2017 | wedding planning
One step in the process of wedding planning: decor. Photo courtesy of Agnes Malorney.
When a cousin of mine announced his engagement a few years ago, I wrote a little something to help them get started planning:
Dear Cousins,
Thanks for asking about how to get started with your wedding planning and where to find a planning checklist. There are probably 100 to be found on the internet and in wedding magazines. They are all a lot alike. I think the best thing to do is to take any random one you find and tailor it to your own use. For myself, I would put it into an Excel spreadsheet, but there are lots of ways to make it useful. Delete all the things that don’t apply to you. If you don’t know yet if something is relevant, hang onto it for now and see if it is needed. And take with a pinch of salt the exact timing recommended by any checklist. You can adjust it to suit you.
At this point, the three or four things you probably need to be working on are all interconnected: date of the wedding; location of the ceremony; officiant, if that doesn’t come with the location; location of the reception (assuming you are having a reception–I make no assumptions); and finding a caterer for the reception (assuming ditto). Of course, there are a lot of other decisions you will need to make in order to make those few decisions, so you may end up working backwards a little and then going forwards. (For example, you probably have to have some idea of how many people are on your guest list before you start looking for a venue.) After you have that framework in place, then you can look for other vendors to help you: florist; photographer; wedding coordinator; clothing; rings; jewelry, etc.. Then it will be time to work on decorative stuff (assuming you aren’t planning to do it all yourself–because if you are, you needed to start on that yesterday): invitations (functional as well as decorative, of course!), any other paper goods, reception decor, if any, etc. After that, there will be a lot of little details.
I will caution you about two things: There is the thing that
NPR’s Car Guys call the Wedding-Industrial Complex (or the “Marital-Industrial Complex”). It is real and it can be dangerous. It is the bridal industry’s marketing machine that wants you to believe that you can’t have a wedding without having all the stuff provided by all the various vendors. Don’t buy into it. It’s not true. All you really need in order to have a wedding is the two of you and someone who can sign the paperwork–and in some states you need witnesses. Everything else is optional. I like to advise my clients to do the things that have some meaning for them and to skip anything else (unless it makes their parents happy, for instance). So, don’t believe the hype. Just do the things that will make you happy.
And here’s the other thing: There are a lot of scams in the wedding industry. There are unscrupulous vendors who know that you’ve never done this before, and they will not hesitate to jack up prices or insist that you do things their way. But there are also lots of vendors who will help you to do what you really want to do. Make sure you find those and steer clear of the others. Trust your instincts. If it doesn’t smell right, it probably isn’t right.
Take a look at
this previous post of mine,
this one and also
this one for some tips on how to protect yourself against some of the most common scams and pitfalls of the wedding industry. And feel free to keep asking. It’s my pleasure to help you two have a wonderful wedding!
Nov 6, 2017 | wedding planning
Was it planned 2 years in advance? Or two days? Photo by T & S Hughes Photography.
Here’s a question that does not get asked nearly often enough: When should you hire a coordinator or planner for your wedding or other large event?
The short answer is: As soon as possible.
If you’re hiring a full-service planner or even someone who is only doing partial planning plus coordinating, you obviously want to hire that person well in advance of the date of the event. You need to give them time to do their job, which is to plan your event. No one wants to do a rush job or do the job badly, so ample time is necessary.
But even if you are hiring someone who is only coordinating the day of your event, it is still a good idea to book early. For one thing, you want to find someone who is available on the date of your event, and Saturday nights start booking up as you approach the date. But beyond the practicalities of who is available, booking early gives you access to your coordinator’s advice and expertise for a longer period of time, saving you money and headaches. And it allows for enough time for your coordinator to get to know you and understand what you want.
I don’t know how most planners charge, but if you hire me early, it doesn’t cost you a penny more than if you hire me later. (In fact, it can save you money.) My fee is based on the average amount of time I expect to put in on your event, and always includes unlimited phone calls, texts, and emails from the time you hire me until the day of your event.
And what if you’ve waited until the last minute to hire someone to coordinate your event? Do not despair! I actually specialize in last-minute jobs (if I am available). While it’s nice to have months to sort out the details and make sure everything is in place, I’ve coordinated weddings with less than 48 hours notice!
One final word of advice: Most planners won’t book more than 12 to 18 months out. That’s my general window, as well. So, if you are more than a-year-and-a-half from the date of your wedding or event, that is the one time I recommend waiting to hire. But within a year or so of the date, don’t delay. Start making calls or sending emails to find the planner who is the right fit for your event. We all appreciate your booking early.
Oct 30, 2017 | Budget Planning
Photo by Danielle Heinson Photography.
Do you have a wedding (or other event) planned for 2018? Here’s a budget-friendly tip for you!
If you hire me before the end of 2017, you’ll get my services at 2017 prices. It’s a good bargain! Starting the first of the year, though, my prices will go up to cover my increasing costs.
Call or email now to set up a no-cost, no-obligation meeting, and let’s get started. If you know you’ll need a coordinator or planner, why wait?
Oct 23, 2017 | Weddings
Would you know if this wasn’t the perfect wedding? Photo by T & S Hughes Photography.
Just for kicks, I went to my favorite search engine and typed in “perfect wedding.” It came back with links to Perfect Wedding Guide, Perfect Wedding Magazine, “20 Secrets to Planning Your Perfect Wedding,” and Plan Your Perfect Wedding Magazine. And that was just the first page. (It seems there’s also a movie called The Perfect Wedding.)
These results are hardly anomalies. I’ve read countless articles and blog posts on the “perfect wedding.” I’m pretty sure there’s even text on my own website that alludes to the “perfect wedding.” A lot of wedding advertising refers to various forms of perfection. Anybody besides me see a problem here?
Perfection is a pretty high standard for a one-time event. What makes it worse is that it is entirely undefined. It’s both nebulous and unrealistic. And this is the standard to which all weddings are held. And that is a recipe for a lot of anxiety on the part of people planning their weddings.
If you’re a fairly casual person and don’t really care whether or not your wedding is “perfect,” then there’s no problem. But if you have even a scrap of perfectionism in your character (and a lot of people do), then the standard of the perfect wedding can get in your way.
I’ve seen this with my own clients. Once, I had a bride confide in me the night before her wedding that she didn’t think she would be able to look “perfect enough” for her wedding the next day. I’ve listened as clients worried that things would not go “perfectly” on their wedding day. I’ve witnessed much (metaphorical) hair-pulling and teeth-gnashing as clients tried to find that one “perfect” thing so their wedding could be “perfect.”
Wouldn’t wedding planning be easier if we could just drop the fiction that there is such a thing as a “perfect wedding”? There’s a wedding that’s a perfect fit for you and your spouse-to-be. There are lots and lots of perfectly lovely weddings. But there’s no reason to go looking for the perfect wedding. Have your wedding, instead. Doesn’t that sound perfect?
Oct 16, 2017 | Weddings
Whose wedding customs are you using? Photo by Danielle Heinson Photography.
All right, I have a tough subject for you today. Let’s talk about cultural appropriation and weddings. Ready?
So, what is cultural appropriation? How is it defined? Everyday Feminism defines it more or less like this:
Cultural appropriation is when a person adopts parts of a culture that is not only not their own, but which also belongs to a group that has been systematically oppressed by their own group.
That includes a whole swath of cultural items, from visual art to hairstyles to music to cultural artifacts to religious practices and beyond. Well known examples are things like a famous white singer adopting a hairstyle that originates with people of African origin, such as cornrows. Or wearing a costume that represents stereotypes about a group of people. If you’re interested in all the different ways that these practices are problematic, I refer you to the Everyday Feminism article linked above.
All right, so what does this have to do with weddings? Well, I’ve seen various cultural practices, almost entirely Native American in origin, used in weddings and wedding receptions by white people who otherwise appear to have no connection to any Native culture.
For example, I worked with an officiant once who began an otherwise standard wedding ceremony between two people who were not of Native origin by smudging the area with burning sage and using what they said was a Native invocation. I’ve seen dream catchers used as reception decor and you can rent a so-called wedding tipi for your outdoor reception. (I won’t give the companies clicks by linking to them, but you can look them up and see what I’m talking about.)
Just for fun, use a search engine to look for things beginning with “Native American wedding….” You’ll find dresses, blessings, traditions, vases, rings, vows, gifts, and so on. Apparently, there’s an entire subsection of the US wedding industry devoted to selling Native American elements of weddings–probably mostly to white people. I have to wonder how much of that money is actually going to Native people. My guess is that it’s a pretty small fraction.
So, should you use elements of another culture in your wedding ceremony or reception? I’m not going to tell you one way or the other, since everyone’s circumstances are different. All I’m going to do is ask you to think about it before you do and make sure that there is no element of exploitation or other harm in your use. That will require research, perhaps some conversations, and a good bit of soul-searching. It’s worth it, though: After all, you’re only planning to get married once, so you might as well do it in such a way that it causes no harm.
Oct 9, 2017 | Day-of Coordinating
Here’s me pinning flowers on a family member. Naturally, you want me to know who gets which flowers. (Photo by HappyBuddy Photo Art.)
Because most people don’t work with wedding or party planners (or coordinators) most of the time, when they hire one, they have to figure out how best to work with them. If you’re in that position yourself, let me give you one really big tip on how to make the most of your planner or coordinator.
The first thing you can do to make sure your planner can do her best job is give her information, lots and lots of information. I have had clients say to me (in these exact words), “I don’t want to overwhelm you with information.” But it is my job–and it is my specialty–to hold and use and organize massive amounts of information.
In fact, most of what you might need a planner to do is organizing information. Never thought of it that way? Well, it’s true: The schedule for your event is a document that organizes and systematizes information, as is the ground plan. And you’ll get the best, most functional schedule or layout if you give your planner every bit of information at your disposal, even information that doesn’t seem vital. Your planner might also be in charge of your decorations. What she needs is not just the decorative items, themselves, but also the information about where they go and how.
You could say that my motto is, “There is no such thing as useless information.” As a planner or coordinator, I am often asked the most obscure questions by other wedding vendors. You never know what someone will want or need to know in order to make your event stellar.
So, please, overwhelm me with information. I love it when you tell me everything you need–and everything you’re thinking is important. When that avalanche of information arrives on my desk, I’m always so happy, because then I know I can do my absolute best work to make your wedding or event turn out as you envision it.
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