Is a champagne toast part of your reception planning? Photo courtesy of Artisan Events.
I recently had the pleasure of reading Miss Manners on {Painfully Proper} Weddings by the ever-entertaining Judith Martin. I imagine I will have a few comments to make about this book. Miss Manners and I don’t see eye to eye on everything but I have the greatest respect for her opinions and expertise.
Miss Manners makes a passing reference to the cash bar in her book. She says, “It is true that the hosts of the wedding reception are responsible for providing refreshment for their guests, a point not to be taken for granted in the day of that abomination called the ‘cash bar.'”
This is an area where I wholeheartedly agree with Miss Manners. If you want to throw a certain kind of party after your wedding but if you also can’t afford that party, it is considered impolite to ask your invited guests to pay any part of the cost. Why? Because the idea of hospitality, at its very core, implies that you give your guests as a gift whatever food, drink, and entertainment are provided.
So, what do you do if funds are short and standards are high? Your options are limited. You are permitted to ask your close family to help fund your wedding, if they are both willing and able. But, of course, “He who pays the piper calls the tune.” If you get help paying, you may have to give up control over some aspects of your wedding reception. Other than that, your other option is to scale back and throw a party within your means. I know that no one wants to hear that advice. But it’s good practice for married life!
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