There's a happy wedding party. Photo courtesy of christytylerphotography.com.
I’ve been so delighted by reading Miss Manners on {Painfully Proper} Weddings by Judith Martin that I want to share another tidbit with you. Miss Manners has a little something to say about bridesmaids:
Bridesmaid abuse has become rampant…. The outrages…result either from tyranny on the part of the bride, or from the observance of an unwieldy accumulation of unauthorized but persistent customs that have made what ought to be a pleasurable duty of friendship into a social and financial burden….
The original point of having bridesmaids was that the bride would wish…to be surrounded by her closest friends. That a group of young ladies might add a decorative element to the ceremony, and that they might want to fuss over the bride a bit…, were merely delightful but incidental advantages….
Things have come to the point where bridesmaids’ appearance is as strictly mandated and inspected as if they were in boot camp and their kindnesses are no more optional than if they had been conscripted.
Miss Manners puts the case so well that it leaves me very little to add. I think the most important point to remember is that while there are a lot of customs regarding wedding attendants, it is most important to treat your friends with the courtesy and consideration appropriate to friendship. After all, you have probably known your bridesmaids longer than you have known your fiance, and it would be nice if they were still your friends after the wedding.
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