This should never be a surprise for the principals. Photo by Ann Oleinik.
A friend of mine posted on Facebook something about surprise weddings never being a good idea. The discussion that followed was, well, surprising.
My friend was thinking it would be a bad idea to have a wedding where one or more of the people getting married was surprised. I couldn’t agree more about that. It reminds me of Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest when Lady Bracknell says, “An engagement should come on a young girl as a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant, as the case may be.” Although there was a time–and there still are places–when that was standard operating procedure, I’m glad to live in a time and place where it is rare.
On the other hand, two different people involved in the discussion talked about surprise weddings they had officiated at, and a third had friends who had had one. In all cases, the couple planned it for a time when their friends and/or family were already present but they didn’t tell anyone except the person officiating (and maybe the host). The consensus on this kind of surprise wedding was that it was a wonderful, sweet, happy kind of surprise for all the guests and the right way for some people to marry.
While this kind of wedding may or may not be right for you, I think it’s important to be aware of the whole range of options when you’re planning a wedding. So, is a surprise wedding a good thing? It might be.
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