Jan 22, 2009 | wedding planning, Weddings
I am asked sometimes why someone getting married should hire a wedding planner. “Is there any reason I can’t do it all myself?” I’ve been asked. My answer to that question is, “Yes and no.”
Beautiful wedding day. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
Yes, you can probably do all the planning yourself. Given enough time, a few basic organizational skills, and the ability to see the project through to the end–qualities just about everyone has–you can certainly plan your wedding by yourself. If you are a very busy professional who travels a lot, for example, or someone who feels overwhelmed by large projects, then you are a good candidate for a full-service planner. Don’t get me wrong: Planning a wedding is a very large job that will take a good amount of your time and attention for as long as you have to work on it. Most people find the process momentarily frustrating at times. At the same time, it can be very rewarding. You might even find that it is a lot of fun. I certainly think it is.
On the other hand, when it comes to day-of wedding coordination, almost everyone needs someone to do the job. In the past when brides were typically younger, the mother of the bride often took care of coordinating the day of the wedding. These days, most couples want to allow their families to enjoy the wedding day and not have to be the one to deal with the stress of the details.
And even if your wedding is simple and straightforward, if you hire a day-of coordinator, you are also hiring a professional consultant who can help you with the planning. Not all planners work the way I do, I’m sure, but when I am working with a couple, I tell them that once they hire me, they can call me or send me an e-mail any time if they need guidance or a vendor referral or just someone to bounce an idea off of. My function is to make sure that the day of the wedding goes smoothly, and that means that I start working toward that goal as soon as I am hired. If I can prevent costly mistakes or solve a problem months in advance, then I am doing my job as day-of coordinator.
Maybe you have been to a wedding and thought it all went so smoothly that there was no need for a coordinator. That is actually the highest compliment you can pay to a day-of wedding coordinator. From the point of view of the guests, it should all look effortless, and that means that someone has put all the details together into a beautiful wedding day.
Jan 5, 2009 | wedding planning, Weddings
This is me, doing what I do best as a day-of coordinator: sweating the details so my clients don't have to. Photo courtesy of Artisan Events, Inc.
If you have plans to get married this year, you are probably thinking–right about now–about hiring a wedding planner or a day-of wedding coordinator. If you’re getting married this year and are not thinking about any such thing, may I recommend that you do so before the best planners get booked up for the summer and fall seasons?
It’s not too difficult to hire a day-of coordinator. You will actually come up with more choices if you do an internet search for “wedding planner,” rather than “day-of wedding coordinator.” Any wedding planner worth her pay is also a day-of coordinator. Craigslist is another place to look. You can also place a free ad there for planners to respond to.
Once you have found a handful of prospects, it’s time to interview them. You can start with an e-mail, of course, but I don’t recommend that you hire anyone until you have met them in person. Sometimes this is impractical, of course, especially if you live in a different city from the one you are planning to marry in. In that case, be sure to have a detailed telephone conversation before signing a contract. Some of the things you may want to consider are: the planner’s experience and expertise; the planner’s personality and how it fits with yours; the kinds of ideas she or he can bring to the table; the fee charged and what you will get for what you pay.
Don’t necessarily think that the lowest price is the best deal. As with any vendor, you get what you pay for. Sometimes the person with the lowest price is the best one for the job, but other times someone with a very low price may not offer as many important services as someone who charges a little more. Get enough information on the services included in the fee so that you can tell the difference. Find out what the price range is by asking several coordinators. You don’t have to hire the most expensive one, but you will probably find one in the middle of the price range who has all the characteristics you want.
Before you hire, get references. Don’t just get names and phone numbers or e-mail addresses. Call those people or e-mail them and ask them questions about their experience with the coordinator. Ask them if they would recommend the person. Ask them if they think they got value for their money. Ask if there were any unresolved problems.
Finally, don’t pay anything until you have a signed contract with the coordinator. (This is actually good advice for hiring any vendor.) The coordinator will probably send you a contract, but don’t assume that this is a “take it or leave it” proposition. All contracts are negotiable. If there is a clause you think needs to be in the contract, ask to have it added. If you don’t like something, ask if it can be removed. You may have to give something in return, but it is always worth a try. Don’t be intimidated by legalese. If there’s anything you don’t understand, ask to have it clarified. And only sign the contract once you are sure you understand everything and agree with it. It takes some work, but it is always worth while to have a good contract in place. It protects both parties.
And once you have hired a wedding coordinator, keep them informed of your decisions. If they ask for information, get it to them as soon as possible. They are looking out for your best interests and need to know what you want and what you are doing so they can take care of all the details while you are busy getting married and enjoying yourself.
Aug 25, 2008 | Weddings
Looks like a wedding.... Photo by Magical Moments Photography
It might seem obvious to you what your wedding is about: It’s about getting married, right? Ideally, yes, your wedding is about getting married, but weddings are about a lot of other things, often to their detriment. Some people’s weddings are about being rich, or at least feeling and seeming rich for a day. Sometimes a wedding is about being a fairy princess. Or it is about returning favors; or outdoing someone; or having a picture-book, textbook, perfect event; or about impressing the guests. Or about Star Trek. (I’m not kidding.) Sometimes, though, the wedding is about being happy; sharing your happiness; gathering far-flung family and friends; sharing your principles; and having fun.
Your wedding can be about anything you want. I recommend that you make sure it is about you if you are getting married. Everything about a wedding that comes from who you really are will make it memorable, both for your guests and for yourself. Ask yourself, “What is important to me? What is important about the wedding day? Why are we doing this?” When you have answers, follow them to their logical conclusions, and you will add even more meaning to a special day.
Aug 10, 2008 | Weddings
A private moment after the ceremony. Photo by Carasco Photography.
The wedding that I was privileged to coordinate last night could not have been more different from the one the week before. This one was indoors, downtown, and with a more formal feel to it. It was in the beautiful winter garden atrium of a Loop skyscraper, and everything was planned down to the last elegant detail.
The bride did a great job of choosing her vendors carefully. Many brides could take a lesson from her. I know she interviewed me thoroughly and was certain to check my references, and because she did the same for the DJ, the photographer, the string quartet, the florist, and the venue, they were all stellar professionals who made sure that her wedding and reception were beautiful, flawless, seamless, and enjoyable for all. They were also all nice people who treated her and her guests (and each other) very well. I will definitely recommend these vendors for future events. (See my links page for my recommended vendors.) She even provided child care for the littlest kids during the ceremony, which was a nice touch.
It was a privilege for me to work with this couple and their families. I’m glad to see a nice couple starting off their married life so happily and in such style.
Aug 4, 2008 | Weddings
Cutting the cake at the reception. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
I was the coordinator at a beautiful wedding this past weekend. The wedding was at Starved Rock State Park, about two hours from Chicago. It was two creative, thoughtful, lovely people marrying each other and the whole day reflected their good qualities.
Things I loved about this wedding: friends of the couple were the musicians at the ceremony; the groom had constructed a decorative trellis for use at the ceremony; he was also seen helping to take it apart after the ceremony while waiting to be photographed (!); the couple actually managed to imbue their wedding colors with personal meaning, and they worked that meaning into the ceremony itself; I saw three eagles circling over the river before the ceremony, which I thought was a good augury; the groom removed the garter from the leg of his lovely bride in a way that did not to embarrass anyone, least of all the bride. They threw a great party, but I think what everyone will remember best is how happy they were to be marrying each other.
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