Jul 27, 2010 | Day-of Coordinating, Weddings
The bride was heading toward the altar when she discovered the cake wasn't there.
The bride came down the staircase of her parents’ home on her way to the altar in the back yard. In her rather emotional state, she just noticed that the wedding cake was not on the dining room table where she expected it to be. “Where is the cake?” she asked her wedding coordinator. “It’s on its way. Don’t worry,” was the reply. And by the time dinner was served, the cake was on the table. The bride and the groom were perfectly content.
Now, here’s what really happened: The mercury that day was over 90 degrees. A more experienced baker probably would have frozen the cake so that the buttercream frosting didn’t melt. But this baker just loaded the cake into her van and drove through the heat. By the time she reached the house, the cake had imploded. Someone buttonholed me before she went back to her kitchen, so I had a minute to talk to her. Needless to say, she was in a bit of a panic.
“What time do you have to have the cake here?” she asked me.
“You have exactly three hours,” I said.
“I’ll be back before then.” And she was. She ended up bringing a small wedding cake and a sheet cake, instead of the larger cake she had promised. But it was still a small miracle that she managed to deliver at all.
Now, when the bride came downstairs and saw that there was no cake, I knew that the cake had fallen and that the baker was, at that moment, frantically re-baking it. But there was no way I was going to let on to the bride that anything was wrong. She had been very stressed earlier in the day, and I didn’t want her worrying as she went to marry her sweetheart. Nor did I want to lie to her. So, I told her the minimum amount of information she needed to know and made sure she didn’t worry. Her family and friends didn’t have to deal with the situation. And, in the end, everyone was happy.
Jul 18, 2010 | Day-of Coordinating, Weddings
I just got the photos from the wedding I wrote about back in May. They are really nice photos and are all posted in my photo gallery. Click on the photo below to go straight to the pictures from this wedding. Many thanks to Christy Tyler for sharing her photos.
Photo courtesy of christytylerphotography.com.
Jul 12, 2010 | wedding planning, Weddings
One step in the process of wedding planning: decor. Photo courtesy of Agnes Malorney.
A cousin of mine recently announced his engagement to the lovely woman he has been seeing for a few years. The family is thrilled. When I sent them my congratulations, I also let them know I’d be happy to help them with the wedding planning. Today, I got an e-mail from them asking if I had any advice on where to find a wedding planning checklist and how to get started planning. Here is what I wrote to them:
Dear Cousins,
For wedding checklists, there are probably 100 to be found on the internet and in wedding magazines. They are all a lot alike. I think the best thing to do is to take any random one you find and tailor it to your own use. For myself, I would put it into an Excel spreadsheet, but there are lots of ways to make it useful. Delete all the things that don’t apply to you. If you don’t know yet if something is relevant, hang onto it for now and see if it is needed.
At this point, the three or four things you probably need to be working on are all interconnected: date of the wedding; location of the ceremony; officiant, if that doesn’t come with the location; location of the reception (assuming you are having a reception–I make no assumptions); and finding a caterer for the reception (assuming ditto). Of course, there are a lot of other decisions you will need to make in order to make those few decisions, so you may end up working backwards a little and then going forwards. After you have that framework in place, then you can look for other vendors to help you: florist; photographer; wedding coordinator; clothing; rings; jewelry, etc.. Then it will be time to work on decorative stuff (assuming you aren’t planning to do it all yourself–because if you are, you need to start on that yesterday): invitations (functional as well as decorative, of course!), any other paper goods, reception decor, if any, etc. After that, there will be a lot of little details.
I will caution you about two things: There is the thing that NPR’s Car Guys call the Wedding-Industrial Complex (or the “Marital-Industrial Complex”). It is real and it can be dangerous. It is the bridal industry’s marketing machine that wants you to believe that you can’t have a wedding without having all the stuff provided by all the various vendors. Don’t buy into it. It’s not true. All you really need in order to have a wedding is the two of you and someone who can sign the paperwork–and in some states you need witnesses. Everything else is optional. I like to advise my clients to do the things that have some meaning for them and to skip anything else (unless it makes your parents happy, for instance). So, don’t believe the hype. Just do the things that will make you happy.
And here’s the other thing: There are a lot of scams in the wedding industry. There are unscrupulous vendors who know that you’ve never done this before, and they will not hesitate to jack up prices or insist that you do things their way. But there are also lots of vendors who will help you to do what you really want to do. Make sure you find those and steer clear of the others. Trust your instincts. If it doesn’t smell right, it probably isn’t right.
Take a look at this previous post of mine, this one and also this one for some tips on how to protect yourself against some of the most common scams and pitfalls of the wedding industry. There is also a wealth of resources on my non-traditional weddings page, including some on the same topic. And feel free to keep asking. It’s my pleasure to help you two have a wonderful wedding!
Jul 6, 2010 | Eco-Friendly Events, vendors, wedding planning, Weddings
I generally like to feature vendors I have worked with directly, but I have been so taken with Tweedle Press that I thought I ought to pass along the good news. Nina, the owner of the press, does all letterpress printing. I didn’t really know what letterpress was until I visited her studio and she showed me the 70 year old, heavy machines that print by putting an impression on the paper. This is printing with texture. She also makes her own paper sometimes, which makes for even more texture.
She also does design, so it’s a one-stop shop for wedding or party invitations; menus; thank-you cards; or any other paper goods. Her commitment to environmental practices is strong, too. The only possible drawback is price: Her prices are best for large orders. It’s beautiful work, though, so you might find that it’s worth it to spend a little more for beautiful, stylish, eco-friendly paper goods.
Jun 27, 2010 | Budget Planning, wedding planning, Weddings
Yesterday evening in the back yard of a Victorian house on the main street of a small town west of Chicago, there was a wedding like no other. Everything had been hand made by the bride–and when I say “everything,” I am hardly exaggerating.
Many brides have DIY projects, but few do what this bride took on. Not only did she make all the ceremony and reception decor and her invitations, but she also made 150 paper boutonnieres for her guests; silk flowers for the wedding party and her close family; her dress and jewelry; her mother’s dress and hat; and all her bridesmaids’ dresses.
If you want to see everything she did (along with instructions for some of the projects), check out her blog. It was an incredible feat of planning and crafting, and the result was absolutely beautiful.
Hand made table decor for the reception.
The photo above gives you a small sample of the DIY crafts on display at this wedding. Front and center is one of the table numbers leaning on the small container garden used as a centerpiece. All this is on the vintage wallpaper used as a table runner. In the background, you can see the doily menus on the plates and the votive candles in mason jars. In the lower right-hand corner is a glimpse of a paper napkin with the guest’s name hand stamped on it.
A wider view of the tables and tent decor.
In this photo, you can see how the decorations all came together. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a picture of the chandelier the bride made. It hung over the dance floor. I’ll post a picture when I get it. Here are a couple more photos to give you an idea of what it all looked like:
The basket of handmade paper bouttonieres.
Place cards in individual envelopes.
As if all this weren’t enough excitement, the annual tractor parade went by the house during the cocktail hour before dinner:
One of the tractors in the parade.
Another tractor in the parade.
The wedding guests watch the tractor parade.
Taken all together, it was a very exciting evening and a lot of fun for the guests. Even for me, it was fun. Because it was a wedding at home, not in a venue with staff accustomed to major events, a certain amount of extra work fell to me. Naturally, I was more than happy to do it, since that is what I am there for.
One word of caution, however. If you are planning your wedding for your home or your parents’ (or anyone else’s, for that matter), be aware that it is a tremendous amount of work for the person who owns the home. The parents of this bride were extraordinarily generous in opening their home to 130 guests plus wedding vendors. They moved a lot of furniture, cleaned, decorated, and gave up the use of their home and yard for several days. And I’m sure it will take a couple more days to clean up and return everything to normal. Their daughter and son-in-law are very lucky.
May 31, 2010 | Day-of Coordinating, Weddings
Here is the lovely couple. Photo shamelessly borrowed from their wedding website.
I had the best time yesterday coordinating a wedding. The bride was a lovely Chinese-American woman. The groom was Cuban-American. They had a pretty simple church ceremony, but at the reception, their families’ heritages were on full display.
The reception had most of the usual traditions you would expect at a wedding. The bride and groom had their first dance together; the bride tossed her bouquet; and the groom tossed the garter. But after the first dance, the bride changed from her white wedding gown into a gorgeous red dress. (Red is a traditional lucky color in Chinese culture. Many Chinese brides wear red.) She also put on a heavily embroidered Chinese jacket called a kwa and some special jewelry. Then she and her new husband performed a traditional Chinese tea ceremony, which involved them serving tea to their parents and grandparents and receiving gifts from them. Her aunts made the special tea and her uncles read a description so everyone felt involved in the ceremony.
After the tea ceremony, the groom’s family’s culture came to the forefront. The groom’s mother is old friends with the leader of a hot Cuban salsa band. The band played a late-evening set that got the crowd out onto the dance floor to dance salsa, cha-cha, and cumbia. Everyone felt like celebrating–and there are some fine salsa dancers among the groom’s family and friends.
Finally, at the end of the evening, the groom had a surprise for everyone. He’s a big fan of Michael Jackson, and he came out dressed in a full MJ outfit to dance to “Billie Jean.” Let me tell you, this guy had all the moves. The night ended on a high note.
And where was your humble wedding coordinator during all this? I was in two places at once, most of the night. I was lining up the wedding party for their introductions; making sure the best man and matron of honor were in place to make their well-spoken toasts; getting a dad and a mom ready to dance with the bride and groom; moving chairs and tables for the tea ceremony; making sure the bride had changed in time for the tea ceremony and had remembered to put on her garter; telling the band leader when to start playing, and when to stop; keeping the bride from finding out that her new husband was going to do a surprise dance for her; informing the DJ, photographer, and videographer about the next event; working with the banquet hall staff; and making sure everyone was happy. It was a lot of work, but for such nice people, it was a pleasure.
I’m really looking forward to seeing the photos from this very special wedding. I’ll post them as soon as I get them so you can see for yourself how beautiful it was.
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