The Bored Wedding Guest

It seems to me that there are two kinds of wedding guests.  There are close friends and family, who feel involved in everything at the wedding and the reception.  And then there are the more distant guests:  acquaintances, associates, friends of the family, and people there with a date.

Some of my clients have been acutely aware of the predicament of the more distant type of guest.  They have instructed me to keep the reception activities moving along and interesting so people don’t get bored.  There are also a few other things you can do to help those guests, if you want to.

Few people are bored when there is a band playing.  Photo courtesy of christytylerphotography.com.

Few people are bored when there is a band playing. Photo courtesy of christytylerphotography.com.

Just playing music, either live or from a DJ, can help the guests have something to do.  If there are performers, there is something to watch. And if you are in an interesting location (a historic house or building, a park, etc.) your guests may find ways to amuse themselves without any help.

If you’re having a seated meal, try to seat your guests at tables where they have something in common with another guest.  If you are having a cocktail reception, ask a member of the wedding party or a close friend to keep an eye out for the people who look like they aren’t talking to anyone and introduce them to family or friends.

And think about whether or not you ask your acquaintances to bring a date.  A guest who doesn’t know anyone will enjoy themselves much more if they bring someone to talk to.

In the end, though, your guests will have to fend for themselves.  Most people know what they are getting in to when they go to a wedding where they don’t know anyone.  The outgoing ones among them will meet people.  The rest will have a pleasant evening.

How to Hire a Caterer (Part One)

Can you find a caterer to do this?  Photo by Happy Buddy PhotoArt.

Can you find a caterer to do this? Photo by Happy Buddy PhotoArt.

I find that one of the hardest things for my clients in planning events is hiring a caterer.  I admit that it can be a complicated process.  If you break it down into smaller steps, it gets a little easier.

One of the first things you can consider when choosing a caterer is whether to hire a big catering firm or a smaller one.  Each one has its advantages and disadvantages.

A small caterer is likely to be more flexible in menus and pricing.  Sometimes they can come up with a special dish just for you.  You are more likely to get the personal touch from a smaller firm.  There is also more variety:  Small companies specialize in different things and each one is different.  On the flip side, some small caterers can not handle very large crowds.  They don’t always have the office staff to return calls promptly.  And they aren’t on the preferred caterer list of many of the larger venues.

Large caterers often have an event coordinator/sales person on staff who is your contact from beginning to end.  This person is not generally a substitute for your own event planner but is another pair of hands and another experienced professional working for you.  The largest caterers also often hire extra serving staff.  I just worked on a wedding with catering by Wolfgang Puck.  They hired at least 20 servers for 175 guests, including one server who only looked after the bride and groom.  It’s great to have extra people working at your event.  But you pay for size and service.  And you generally have to work with the caterer’s preset menus.

If you’re planning to hire a caterer soon, take a look at the size of the catering company.  See what they have to offer.  That ought to help you narrow down your choices.

Late Summer Wedding

I worked with a truly lovely couple this weekend on their wedding.  It was at the magnificent South Shore Cultural Center.  I have been to many events there and I was delighted finally to be able to work on a wedding there.  It is one of the nicest sites for a wedding in the Chicago area, if you want my opinion.

My amateur photo of the wedding program.  Better pictures to come soon.

My amateur photo of the wedding program. Better pictures to come soon.

It was one of those days when everything goes perfectly.  That was partly due to the rigorous planning the bride and groom insisted on.  (You should have seen their spreadsheet with everyone’s schedule on it.  I was most impressed!)  And it was partly just good luck.  Well, the linens were an hour late being delivered (and you can’t start to put things on tables until the linens arrive), but the caterer, Wolfgang Puck, had twenty servers, so there were plenty of pairs of hands to get everything done in time.

And then everything ran like clockwork:  Ceremony, photographs, cocktail hour, toasts, cake cutting, dinner, dancing, bouquet toss….  The highlight of the reception, as far as I was concerned, was the bride’s father’s toast.  He had written and performed a song for his daughter and son-in-law about how they met.  It was humorous and very well done.  He’s clearly no amateur at these things.  It was a surprise for the bride and groom, and I was standing where I could see their faces.  They were clearly enjoying it.  The groom had expected his father-in-law to do something unusual, but I think even he was pleasantly surprised by the form it took.

The other thing that was unusual about this wedding was the bride’s attitude.  Even though she had planned everything down to the last detail, at the rehearsal the day before when she handed me the last of the paperwork, she said, “I don’t care if you do everything exactly the way I drew it.  Just make it pretty.”  She knew what she wanted, but she also trusted me enough to let me make the last-minute decisions.  That was a real blessing when we were setting up.  Sometimes a bride’s vision doesn’t quite fit with the reality of, say, the amount of space on a table, or the size of the floral centerpieces.  But, since I could use my best judgment, everything was pretty, very pretty.

Vendors I Know–Pollen

One of Lynn's designs.  Shamelessly stolen from her website.

One of Lynn's designs. Shamelessly stolen from her website.

I’ve been wanting to tell you about Pollen floral studio for a while.  Lynn Fosbender, the owner, is definitely someone to know if you need flowers for an event.  While her primary interest is in eco-friendly floral design, the thing that impresses me the most about her is her creative thinking.  She recently worked with some clients of mine who were mostly interested in creative ideas, and they loved her and the flowers for their wedding.

I like her approach to eco-friendly flowers, as well.  She tries to use local, organic flowers whenever possible.  And she composts all of her plant waste in two 50 gallon composters on the roof!  You can see the extent of her commitment to all things sustainable on her website.

And I know this won’t impress most people, but I love the fact that Lynn has thorough contracts with her clients.  You may have heard me griping about the contracts most florists have.  Lynn is a major exception to that rule.  She tells you what you will be getting, how much it will cost, and when it will show up.

And did I mention she does beautiful work and is fun to work with?

Wedding Traditions–Some History

I found this post about weddings and marriage recently.  Whether you agree with its implied politics or not, it does say a lot about wedding traditions, including a number of things I did not know before.  I had heard that in the Middle Ages weddings were not conducted in churches, although I did not know why.  And I had no notion where the tradition of tossing the garter came from.  (It’s a little appalling, actually.)  Take a look and see what you think.

French Country Wedding

I love a good rainstorm.  There’s nothing like the sound of a good, old-fashioned Midwestern thunderstorm.  Unless it’s 5:30 in the morning on the day of an outdoor morning wedding.

Redfield Estate at The Grove

Redfield Estate at The Grove

The bride, the groom, and I had been planning for months to have the ceremony and the reception outdoors at the lovely Redfield Estate at The Grove in Glenview.  Naturally, we had a rain plan, but not one of us wanted to implement it.  We all arrived before 8:00 in the morning and had to decide whether to move indoors or not.  By then, the weather seemed to be clearing, but the lawn was very soggy.

We walked about to see whether we could do anything outdoors.  Fortunately, the area around the gazebo where they wanted to have the ceremony was dry enough.  After about a half an hour, I made an executive decision:  We would have the ceremony outdoors but would serve lunch indoors, not on the damp and soggy lawn.  The florist, the string quartet, and the sound rental company could all begin to set up.

Despite the late start and the uncertainties of the weather, this turned out to be a wonderful wedding.  The bride and groom wanted a casual occasion where their friends and families could enjoy themselves.  I think they succeeded amazingly well.  The ceremony was personal and unique.  It was bilingual to honor the groom’s French heritage and family.  And it was followed by a receiving line and coffee and pastry.

The flowers, by Lynn Fosbender at Pollen, were perfectly French country:  Sunflowers, lavender, a few lilies, etc.  (I’ll have photos in a few weeks and you can judge for yourself.)

Then there was a lunch buffet, catered by Dave’s Specialty Foods, followed by dancing.  Meanwhile, the bridal party went to decorate the newlyweds’ getaway car.  They went all out, with streamers, cans, writing on the windows–and filling the car entirely with balloons.

This was a very personal occasion and a very fun one–just like the people who got married.

Call Now!