Is a Surprise Wedding Ever a Good Thing?

This should never be a surprise for the principals.   Photo by Ann Oleinik.

This should never be a surprise for the principals. Photo by Ann Oleinik.

A friend of mine posted on Facebook something about surprise weddings never being a good idea.  The discussion that followed was, well, surprising.

My friend was thinking it would be a bad idea to have a wedding where one or more of the people getting married was surprised.   I couldn’t agree more about that.  It reminds me of Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest when Lady Bracknell says, “An engagement should come on a young girl as a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant, as the case may be.”  Although there was a time–and there still are places–when that was standard operating procedure, I’m glad to live in a time and place where it is rare.

On the other hand, two different people involved in the discussion talked about surprise weddings they had officiated at, and a third had friends who had had one.  In all cases, the couple planned it for a time when their friends and/or family were already present but they didn’t tell anyone except the person officiating (and maybe the host).  The consensus on this kind of surprise wedding was that it was a wonderful, sweet, happy kind of surprise for all the guests and the right way for some people to marry.

While this kind of wedding may or may not be right for you, I think it’s important to be aware of the whole range of options when you’re planning a wedding.  So, is a surprise wedding a good thing?  It might be.

Conservatory Wedding

The bride and groom at this recent wedding insisted that everything be as simple as possible.  They didn’t want any fuss, just a nice time with their family and friends.  They did keep it simple, and it was also beautiful.  The guests kept commenting on what a lovely wedding it was.  Here are a few photos I took to give you an idea.

Horticultural Hall at the Garfield Park Conservatory is a good reception space.

Horticultural Hall at the Garfield Park Conservatory is a good reception space.

The Show House worked well for a cocktail hour.

The Show House worked well for a cocktail hour.

All the decor, except the flowers, was in simple black and white.

All the decor, except the flowers, was in simple black and white.

The only flowers were the bride's and the bridesmaids' bouquets.

The only flowers were the bride’s and the bridesmaids’ bouquets.

Here, a bouquet (from Flowers by Stem) brightens the water table near the door.

Here, a bouquet brightens the water table near the door.

But who needs a florist when you're at a conservatory?

But who needs a florist when you’re at a conservatory?

Photos from a Marathoners’ Wedding

I coordinated a small wedding recently where the couple were both marathon runners.  They included a lot of cute touches in the wedding to reflect their passion in life:  long distance running.  Check out the photos by clicking on the picture.  Peter Coombs took all these fabulous photos.

Photo by Peter Coombs.

Photo by Peter Coombs.

Re-run: Is Eco-Friendly Expensive?

A tent wedding can be a green option.

A tent wedding can be a green option.

In case you’re planning an eco-friendly event in the near future, these words still apply:

One concern I hear about making events eco-friendly is that it is going to be too expensive to be eco-conscious.  While it is true that some sustainable choices are more expensive than their conventional alternatives, others are less expensive.  There are always trade-offs, and, in the end, it is up to you to make the choices.

Organic food and flowers are almost certainly more expensive than conventionally grown or raised food and flowers.  Organic growing is more labor-intensive, and so the price goes up.  Also, retailers raise the price of organics when they can because it is a niche market.  But much of the increased cost is due to the high quality of the product.  On the other hand, local food and flowers in season may be less expensive than their counterparts from distant locations because they may be abundant and cheaper to transport.  You can get local, organic; local, non-organic; or non-local, organic products.  Each of these is more environmentally friendly than non-local and non-organic products, so you can figure out what best meets your budget and your expectations.

When you’re thinking about decor, you can save money and go green by reducing the quantity of decor items at your celebration and by reducing the potential waste. For example, edible or grow-able favors with minimal (or reusable) packaging might save you money over an elaborate knick-knack that may end up in the landfill.  Finding a location that doesn’t require much decoration can save you a lot of money (and time) on decor.

A little creative thinking can both save you money and increase your green quotient.  And you don’t have to have a perfectly green event.  There are always trade-offs and purity shouldn’t be the goal.  But if there’s something you can do that suits your style and your budget, you can make your event just a little more green.

Success Story: Coordinator vs. Concert Traffic

Even renting a bus didn't solve all the problems.  Photo by Light on Life Images.

Even renting a bus didn't solve all the problems. Photo by Light on Life Images.

We knew it could be a big issue for the wedding:  The ceremony at the Adler Planetarium was scheduled for the same time as a monster pop concert at Soldier Field.  In case you’re not familiar with the geography, there are exactly two roads that lead to the stadium off of Lake Shore Drive.  They converge just before you reach the planetarium, to which there is, then, a single road.

I had helped the bride and groom to charter a bus to bring their guests to the wedding so they could avoid the worst of the traffic and parking hassles, because 60,000 fans were expected for the concert.  I had even accounted for traffic by tripling the usual travel time from the hotel in the schedule.  That did not mean it was all smooth sailing, though.

Half an hour before the ceremony was scheduled to start, the bride’s uncle received a call from a family member who was on the bus.  He said the bus wasn’t allowed on the main road to the planetarium.  Well, I knew that and had carefully instructed the driver to use the secondary road.  I asked the uncle to relay the message again just to be sure the driver knew.  Sure enough, 15 minutes later, the bus arrived, unloaded, and went back for stragglers.

We started the ceremony a bit late because it took a while for everyone else to arrive, but I kept the caterer informed, and we were back on track in no time.

Then, at the end of the night, there was more fun.  The bus arrived for its early pick-up at the appointed time.  The driver asked when he should leave.  I told him that as soon as he had the grandparents on board, he should take them to the hotel.  He did that, and got out of there just before the concert ended.  That was good timing!

Then, my assistant and I watched lines and lines of slow-moving traffic go by while the concert-goers left the area.  And we waited for the bus to return.  And waited.  And waited.  And waited.

The wedding was over.  The guests were out front waiting for transport.  I had called the driver but didn’t get him on the phone.  Suddenly, the bus appeared, right on schedule.  I was able to alert the guests that they would be able to leave as expected.  And all the traffic was gone.

It was a combination of good planning and good luck, and it all worked out, with a little patience.

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