Dec 14, 2009 | Budget Planning, Parties and Special Events, wedding planning, Weddings
It’s time to rerun my budget event series for everyone who is getting ready to plan a wedding or party on a shoestring. Here is part one of the series, for those who missed it around this time last year:
Just because you are on a budget doesn’t mean you can’t have the event you want. It requires some extra work and maybe a few compromises, but you can still get married or have a bar mitzvah or throw the party for your parents’ anniversary and have a real celebration. Working on a budget is something I do a lot, so I’d like to share some of my insights with you.
It's about the money.
The first thing to do is to have an actual budget. This is sometimes an item that people put off, but I urge you to come up with a realistic budget as early in the planning process as you can. It will help to guide your choices as you plan your event. The main reason for procrastination, I think, is the simple fact that many people do not know how to go about preparing a budget. Here is my method:
Start with the total amount of money you are able to spend on the event. Be realistic about your ability to spend, including any contributions others have committed to making. It is not worthwhile to spend more on any event than you have. Unless your circumstances are unusual, it is not generally a good idea to go into debt for a wedding or other celebration. I also do not recommend spending everything you have for one day’s celebration.
Next, list all the things you intend to spend money on. Include everything you think you might need, and add a “just in case” category. For a wedding, your list might look something like this:
Band/musicians/DJ
Cake
Candles
Caterer/restaurant
Ceremony venue
Clothing
Contingency
Dish rental
Event planner
Favors
Flowers/décor
Furniture rental
Gifts
Guest directions
Invitations
Ketubah
License
Limo/transportation
Linen rental
Liquor/champagne
Menu
Officiant
Other rentals
Photographer
Place cards
Postage
Program book
Reception venue
Rings
RSVPs
Save-the date cards
Sound equipment
Table numbers
Tips
Unity candle or sand
Videographer
This is not to say that you have to include everything on the list. I don’t think I have ever worked on a wedding that spent money in each and every one of these categories. And some events require things that are not on this list. Pick the ones that pertain to your event and make a spreadsheet.
Now comes the hard part: Fill in a number next to each category and make sure the total does not exceed your total budget number. (Computer spreadsheet programs such as Excel make this job much easier.) But how do you know what number to put there? You will have to do some research. Talk to vendors and other professionals (such as an event planner). Poke around online to get a range of prices. Decide what things you can do yourself to save money and what things will require professional services. For example, you might make place cards and table numbers yourself at minimal cost, if you have the time. In a future post, I will take a look at some of the more difficult categories and consider ways to estimate and reduce costs in each. (Or you can see where this is still posted from March and July of 2009.)
The creative bride of this wedding made her own programs, place cards, and even her own flower arrangements.
Finally, if your cost estimate exceeds your resources, you will have to find places to cut. You may have to reconsider how you define what you need and remove some categories, or you might have to make do with smaller quantities or lesser quality on some things. You can also consider cutting the guest list. These decisions are not easy, but keep in mind that the most important thing about any celebration is not how opulent it looks but what happens between the people. If it’s a wedding, getting married is the most important thing that will happen. If it is an anniversary or birthday party, the important thing is to honor the ones who have reached a milestone. If you can manage a lavish entertainment in addition, consider it a bonus.
Nov 18, 2009 | Family Parties, Parties and Special Events, wedding planning
No disappointments here! Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
How do you know which vendors are trustworthy? How can you be sure to hire people who will deliver? How do you avoid wedding scam artists? If you’re planning a party or a wedding, I am sure that these questions have crossed your mind.
Well, because of who I am, I will give you the self-promotional answer first and then some further thoughts: The easiest way to get trusted vendors is to hire an event planner who doesn’t take commissions from vendors and ask for her recommendations. Not only does a professional have to have good contacts, but also no vendor is going to take a chance by letting down a planner. Vendors rely on planners to recommend them to future clients, so they are less likely to let you down.
Not everyone can or needs to hire a professional planner, however. If you are hiring vendors on your own, here is how I find good ones. First, I ask around. Someone you know has the information you want. I found my favorite caterer via the recommendation of a friend of my mother-in-law. You never know who knows someone.
Then, always (and I do mean always) check references. Ask for the names and phone numbers or e-mail addresses of at least three recent clients. Don’t just get the information but also call or e-mail these people. They have agreed to be references so they won’t mind talking to you. Chances are, they are more than happy to tell you the good experiences they had with the vendor. Ask specific questions, such as:
- Did this person deliver on what they said they would do?
- Were they easy to work with?
- Did you have any difficulties with them?
- Do you think you got value for your money?
- Would you recommend this person?
You can also ask for a general description of the reference’s experience with the vendor. Almost any specific question you ask will probably give you some of the information you need.
Some people, I think, hesitate to ask for references, thinking somehow that it is a sign of a lack of trust. But when potential clients ask me for references, I am actually very glad. First, I know that my references will say good things about me. Second, it shows that the client has done her or his homework. Finally, I find that clients who ask for references end up trusting me a lot more. When they believe they can trust me, we work well together.
With a little time and effort, you can find trustworthy vendors who will make you happy with their work.
Nov 9, 2009 | Day-of Coordinating, wedding planning, Weddings
My photo of the gallery set up for the ceremony.
Wedding planning is, in part, about putting together a great team of people who will make your wedding as perfect as possible. In the case of the wedding I managed on Saturday night, the two women who were marrying found exactly the right people. I am happy to say that I was of some help making it all go according to plan, including guiding them to some of the team members.
They called me just about a year ago needing help finding the right wedding vendors. They had their location already, the Black Walnut Gallery in the West Loop. It is a small, intimate art gallery with a back courtyard. It was the perfect size for a wedding with 35 guests (although the gallery will easily accommodate more guests).
The next thing they needed was a caterer. I recommended two caterers for them to try. First, they had a tasting with Dave at Dave’s Specialty Foods. After meeting with him and tasting his food, they canceled their other tasting. Dave was hired! I was thrilled for them because I knew they had made a very good choice.
They hired Victoria Sprung as their photographer. And we used BBJ Linen and Arlington Rental for linens, tables, chairs, dishes, and all the other necessities. The flowers came from a florist in their home town in Wisconsin. I never met her, but she did a beautiful job. Finally, they hired Rev. Rebecca to perform the ceremony. They found her independently, but she was the officiant I was going to recommend if they had asked.
Flowers on the bar, with some art in the background.
Good planning always pays off. I had gone over all the details with everyone, making changes as necessary, so when the day of the wedding arrived, everyone was ready to make a beautiful day for them. The servers set up tables, chairs and the bar; I set place cards, flowers, and decor for the ceremony; Dave put together his kitchen in the basement of the gallery and prepared to dish out splendid food; Reverend Rebecca arrived and began to give the place an air of sanctity. A few friends and family members pitched in to set up because they wanted to, but no one felt stressed. Even the weather cooperated with sunshine and 60 degrees in November.
Finally, it was time for the ceremony. Everyone commented on how personal and meaningful it was. Vows were made and rings were exchanged in a very moving manner. And then a celebration was in order.
While the guests enjoyed drinks and appetizers in the warm, candle-lit courtyard, the servers brought in the tables, as if by magic. I placed the ribbons, flowers, candles, and flower confetti on the tables while the tables were set. Dinner and dancing followed. Everyone worked together like a well oiled machine to make sure that all the guests had a good time. And at the end of the evening, I called cabs and congratulated the families on a very happy occasion. All the hard work that went into planning really paid off.
In a few weeks, I hope to showcase some of Victoria’s photos of the wedding here. From what I could see, hers are much nicer than mine.
Nov 2, 2009 | Family Parties, wedding planning, Weddings
I get a lot of questions from my clients about when to send out invitations. Here are a few guidelines to get you through this part of wedding or party planning:
You can send out save-the-date cards (or e-mails, or you can make phone calls) about six months in advance. If you have guests who might come from overseas or who have other situations that require more notice, you can alert them to the date a year in advance. Most people have trouble planning anything more than a year in advance, though, so if you tell people farther ahead than that, expect to remind them at about the 6 to 9 month mark.
Be prepared to put your invitations into the mail six to eight weeks before the event. Leave yourself ample time to address all the invitations if you are doing them yourself. If you are hiring a calligrapher to address them, be sure to ask him or her how much time is needed for the number of invitations you have. Then add a week, just to be on the safe side.
Your RSVP deadline should be about three weeks ahead of the wedding or party. (If you only plan to get the invitations into the mail six weeks ahead of the wedding date, you can get away with about 2 weeks for the RSVP date.) Your caterer will probably want a final head count between a week and two weeks ahead of the date, and you want to leave yourself enough time to call the people who have not responded by the deadline.
And there will be people who don’t respond. Be sure to leave yourself enough time to call them and just check in. You don’t have to remind them that they have been rude enough not to reply. Just ask them if they plan to be there (and what they plan to eat if you have asked people to tell you in advance). Don’t skip this step. You don’t want to have people show up if you haven’t planned to feed them.
Your spreadsheet is useful for making place cards, too. Photo courtesy of Artisan Events, Inc.
I find that the best way to keep track of the guest list is with a spreadsheet program. I like to have columns for name; address; save-the-date card sent; invitation sent; responded yes or no; and dish requested. The same sheet can also double as a gift tracker so you know what to thank people for and whether you have done so. And you can use it to help you make place cards.
These are only guidelines, of course. Special situations may require a different approach. But you can use them as a road map to get you started on this most important part of the process.
Oct 19, 2009 | Style, wedding planning, Weddings
I see a lot of online discussions about wedding colors, and it has gotten me to thinking. Why are wedding colors so important? Where did they come from? How have they become a necessary part of wedding planning?
Wedding websites gush with statements such as this:
There’s no question: choosing wedding colors is one of the earliest, trickiest tasks a bride has to cross off the list. You can’t even talk [to] your florist until you’ve worked this out.
(From Favor Ideas.)
I’m pretty sure that in my mother’s day, there was no such thing as wedding colors. Tablecloths were white; flowers were whatever color you liked; maybe you had an accent color for monogrammed napkins; and everything else was white. Sometime since then, wedding colors have become seemingly mandatory.
Unity sand and contrasting flowers. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
I will say this in favor of choosing colors: If you’re not having a white wedding, when creating elaborate decorations, it is much easier to come up with a pleasing decor if you are working from a limited color palette. Choosing two or three colors and sticking with them makes the design much more likely to be successful.
On the other hand, I don’t think that it is necessary to fetishize a pair of colors the way some of the bridal magazines would have you do. TheKnot.com puts it very well:
We should point out that overdoing it with a matchy-match look is entirely possible. (You don’t want your guests thinking, Um, yeah, lavender…we get it.)
At the same time, that same website devotes pages and pages to wedding colors. I think it is possible to strike a balance: Know your color scheme but don’t become a slave to it. Above all, don’t think that you can’t get married without one.
A very thoughtful couple I worked with a couple of years ago chose their color scheme very carefully and made it unusually meaningful. Each of them chose a color that made them think of their spouse-to-be. They then used the colors and their meanings in their wedding vows. And those were their wedding colors. As the guests enjoyed the reception, when they saw the ribbons tied around the candles or the unity sand the couple had poured during the ceremony, they were reminded of their beautiful vows and the real meaning of the day.
This couple also did not use their two colors exclusively. The cake used one of the colors and a contrasting color. The wedding party wore the other color, mostly. But the flowers (with the exception of the groom’s boutonniere) were all in contrasting bright colors; the place cards didn’t match at all; and still everything looked and felt like a unified whole.
The lesson here is, I think, that thinking about color is very important when planning a wedding reception. It should not, however, become more important than the main event, which is getting married.
Oct 12, 2009 | vendors, wedding planning
A typically whimsical photo by Carasco Photography.
Every once in a while, I work with someone I just click with. Last summer, I worked with Scott and Cara of Carasco Photography for the first time and there was that click. My client had hired them before she hired me, so they were unknown to me until a week before the wedding. All I knew was that my client thought they did very nice work.
In the week before the wedding, I had a very nice phone conversation with Cara, so I had a good feeling about them. Then I met them both at the wedding and discovered just how personable and interesting they both are. We had a chance to chat for a while when we had a few minutes’ break and I discovered that I like their attitude, as well. I was also impressed by their work ethic and efficiency. They did a lot of capturing the moment but also took portraits. I enjoyed watching them take the portraits because they made it look like a lot of fun.
And then I saw the photos and was completely amazed by the results. They really captured that wedding day in all its glory. (You can see some of their photos in my photo gallery.) Those are some of my favorite photos of weddings I have worked on because they really show the beauty of the day.
There are countless photographers in Chicago but I think there are only a few who have everything going for them the way Scott and Cara do. So, take a look at what they do and I hope you’ll consider them when you are looking for a photographer.
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