Jul 26, 2011 | wedding planning, Weddings
Just Married! Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
A client asked me today about the rules for name changes after marriage. I couldn’t recall the law in Illinois right away, so I went and looked it up. The law was changed in Illinois sometime in the last several years to allow either party in a new marriage to change their last name to that of their spouse. Until the law was changed, only women could change their name upon marriage without going through the courts. Now, the law is more egalitarian.
The client who asked wanted to know whether he and his fiancee could combine their names to make a new name. It looks to me as if the law doesn’t account for that possibility, but I would guess that there would be nothing to stop them.
If you’re going to change your name, remember to do all the paperwork. Alert your employer, the DMV, your banks, the post office, your insurance companies, the utilities, the Social Security Administration, credit card companies, your mortgage holder, and anyone else who needs to know. You’ll need extra certified copies of your marriage license (not photocopies) for some or all of these. There is a good summary of the steps necessary on Ehow.com.
May 22, 2011 | wedding planning, Weddings
Buy a dress that fits you well. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
I just heard a horror story about a wedding dress from the mother of a bride.
Her daughter found a beautiful dress she loved at a bridal shop. But the people at the shop had her buy a dress several sizes too large for her. It was so much too large that they had to clamp it onto her so it wouldn’t fall off. But they insisted she buy a size 12, instead of her usual size 6, “just in case.”
The dress itself cost around $1,500. The required alterations cost another $1,000.
I can see a few problems with this scenario. First, why buy a dress that clearly doesn’t fit? Second, it’s cruel to play into a bride’s fears about her weight and size. And third, that’s a lot of extra money to pay for buying a dress the wrong size.
So, beware of the traps in buying a wedding dress. Don’t feel pressured to buy something just because you’re talking to an “expert.” Trust your gut. And buy off the rack, if you can. There’s nothing magical about bridal dress alterations. They can be more complicated than your average dress, but a good seamstress with experience should be able to take care of you.
Apr 30, 2011 | wedding planning, Weddings
I know I’m supposed to be interested in yesterday’s royal wedding. I hear about it everywhere I go, and, as a professional, I guess I’m expected to have an opinion on everything and note the fashions. I’m sorry if I sound grumpy here, but I couldn’t care less.
Yes, royalty is interesting. Yes, it’s a high-profile wedding. (Who was their wedding planner, anyway?) But to me, this kind of event highlights all the things I don’t like about weddings: the spectacle, the display of wealth, the emphasis on the trappings.
One news site has a blog all about the royal wedding. The topics are things like royal wedding fashion, celebrity guests, what Prince Harry’s date wore, the gown, the ring, a recipe for royal wedding cake, and then, finally, at the very end, tips for a happy and healthy marriage.
But isn’t that what it is really about? Any two people getting married are starting a new life together and the wedding day is the the first day of many together. I think the focus should be on the people, their relationship, and the joy of marriage. The millions spent on lavish entertainment and props are not the point.
So, if you enjoy watching the spectacle, I hope you liked this one. For myself, I’d rather work on a wedding that is less about the externals and more about the love.
Apr 22, 2011 | Eco-Friendly Events, Parties and Special Events, wedding planning, Weddings
Wildflower seed paper hearts in a clay pot make great eco-friendly wedding favors. Photo courtesy of christytylerphotography.com.
Today is Earth Day. If you’re planning a wedding or other event this summer, what can you do to honor the earth at your event? Here’s a short list of things you can think about:
- Transportation
- Location
- Food and Drink
- Clothing and jewelry
- Gifts
- Decorations
- Invitations and other paper goods
No one is expected to have a perfectly green event, but every little thing you do helps. If your invitations and menus are printed on 100% post-consumer recycled paper, it helps. If you can have your wedding, reception, and hotel for guests close together, it helps.
For a long list of green event planning tips, be sure to see my Eco Friendly Celebrations page. I like to do whatever I can to help people celebrate Earth Day every day.
Apr 5, 2011 | Eco-Friendly Events, Family Parties, Other Events, Parties and Special Events, vendors, wedding planning, Weddings
Rickshaw Rick, as he appears on his website.
Do you want something a little different for your next celebration? Try hiring a bicycle rickshaw to take you from place to place. Having a wedding at church and the reception down the road? You could have unusual and memorable transportation.
Rick Carter of Rickshaw Rick provides a service that is, I think, unique. He has several styles of bicycle rickshaw and a number of drivers, so he can accommodate large or small parties. There are covered cabs and open ones; colorful ones and wicker ones. And they are all powered exclusively by pedal power. Now, there’s an eco-friendly option to consider for your next party!
Mar 31, 2011 | Eco-Friendly Events, wedding planning, Weddings
I hate to bring up a difficult, uncomfortable subject when we’re talking about weddings, but I do think it is better to know all sides of an issue, especially if you are interested in eco-friendly events. I’m talking about the environmental and political problems associated with the commercial jewelry trade.
The issues around jewelry can be tricky.
Let me be very clear about one thing: I am not saying that you are a bad person if you wear and like commercial jewelry. I just want to make sure that you have enough information to make an informed choice. I won’t pass judgment on your choice if you are happy with it.
There are environmental issues with gold, as well as political ones. Diamonds and other precious stones, as far as I can tell, have fewer environmental problems, although there are political problems.
Gold mining and refining, according to one informed source, release large amounts of toxins into the environment, including cyanide, arsenic, and mercury. Gold also requires huge amounts of water and electricity to produce, according to the same source. Many who are concerned about the problems associated with gold mining and refining call it “dirty gold” because of its negative environmental impacts.
In addition, gold mining is believed to fuel conflict in places like the Congo and Colombia. While not all of these conflicts make it into the news daily, they are ongoing sources of human rights abuses, death, and destruction.
The diamond trade also fuels conflicts in Africa according to the UN and Amnesty International. While there has been some progress in restricting the trade of illegitimate diamonds that fund wars and abuse, it is still very difficult to ensure that a diamond comes from a conflict-free zone.
Fortunately, more and more jewelers are taking environmental and human rights considerations seriously. It is becoming easier than in the past to find jewelers that carry no-conflict diamonds and clean gold.
If you want gold jewelry, look for a jeweler that uses recycled or reclaimed gold. If they supervise the recycling process themselves, that is even better. As far as I am aware, there is no certification process for recycled gold, so if this is a concern of yours, ask as many questions of the jeweler as necessary to assure yourself that their gold really is recycled.
There are solutions to the problems of jewelry at hand. Photo by MWD Photography.
Another choice for gold jewelry without additional harm to the environment is to find vintage jewelry. Maybe there is even a piece in your family (or your soon-to-be in-laws’ family). For example, I wear my husband’s great-grandmother’s wedding ring and he wears his great-grandfather’s. The rings are a red gold, which isn’t fashionable these days, so it is a little different than anything you could buy in a store. If there isn’t anything in your family, antique and vintage stores often have jewelry sections, and you can find some very nice pieces there.
Vintage diamonds are also one answer to the problems of new diamonds. Some jewelers also import their diamonds from places like Canada where they believe the diamond trade is not involved in bloody conflicts. But do your homework and make sure you have found a trusted source if this is an issue for you.
There is probably no perfect answer to these troubling issues. The more people are aware of them, though, the closer we can come to solving some of these perplexing problems.
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