May 13, 2013 | vendors, wedding planning
Toast & Jam, as they appear on their website.
I had the great pleasure of working with one of the many talented DJs at Toast & Jam recently. There are a lot of reasons why this company stands out from the many other DJ services in Chicago. We’re lucky to have a lot of talented companies and individuals here, so it’s not easy to stand out.
I think the first thing I noticed about T&J is that it is a woman-owned company, and most of the DJs are women. That is unusual, because most of those talented DJs I mentioned are men. I don’t know that gender makes a difference in the quality of the talent, but it certainly caught my attention just by being different.
I worked with Toast & Jam on a wedding where the bridal couple were extremely specific about the music they wanted and–more important–the music they didn’t want. The DJ worked with them patiently and creatively to come up with a playlist that made them happy. She kept the music flowing and to the taste of the bridal pair. It all looked easy, but if you knew what went on behind the scenes, it was very impressive.
There are a lot of good companies to choose from when you are looking for a DJ, but I know I am going to be recommending Toast & Jam a lot.
May 6, 2013 | etiquette, wedding planning
There's a happy wedding party. Photo courtesy of christytylerphotography.com.
I’ve been so delighted by reading Miss Manners on {Painfully Proper} Weddings by Judith Martin that I want to share another tidbit with you. Miss Manners has a little something to say about bridesmaids:
Bridesmaid abuse has become rampant…. The outrages…result either from tyranny on the part of the bride, or from the observance of an unwieldy accumulation of unauthorized but persistent customs that have made what ought to be a pleasurable duty of friendship into a social and financial burden….
The original point of having bridesmaids was that the bride would wish…to be surrounded by her closest friends. That a group of young ladies might add a decorative element to the ceremony, and that they might want to fuss over the bride a bit…, were merely delightful but incidental advantages….
Things have come to the point where bridesmaids’ appearance is as strictly mandated and inspected as if they were in boot camp and their kindnesses are no more optional than if they had been conscripted.
Miss Manners puts the case so well that it leaves me very little to add. I think the most important point to remember is that while there are a lot of customs regarding wedding attendants, it is most important to treat your friends with the courtesy and consideration appropriate to friendship. After all, you have probably known your bridesmaids longer than you have known your fiance, and it would be nice if they were still your friends after the wedding.
Apr 29, 2013 | Day-of Coordinating, wedding planning, Weddings
It all looks as if it is going smoothly. Only the planner knows for sure. Courtesy of sprungphoto.com.
Once in a while I have to toot my own horn. I have a story for you that is interesting and also answers that age-old question, “Why should I hire a wedding planner or coordinator?”
I worked on a wedding last year that was excessively well planned. The bride is, herself, an event planner and had everything organized down to the last detail. Someone with less experience than she had might have concluded that between her exceptional planning and the professional staff at the venue, everything would go smoothly. Maybe sometimes that is the case, but not here.
I won’t name the venue–to protect the guilty–but let’s just say that it is a medium-size place that is accustomed to large events. It’s the kind of place one might reasonably expect to know what it is doing when there is a large wedding on site.
Both the bride and I had expressed to them how important it was to set a sound level on their equipment for the recorded recessional music. I began asking the venue staff to set up the sound equipment soon after I arrived. Thirty minutes before the ceremony, the catering manager was still trying to set up his own equipment, and clearly didn’t quite understand how it functioned. I did manage to set a sound level before the guests were seated, but only barely.
Things went well for a while. The ceremony went off without a hitch, and the guests moved to the next room while the venue staff, the florists, and I turned the room over for the reception. Once the meal began, though, it became clear that the venue was under-staffed. No one poured wine at the head table, and it was hard to find a server. Not only that, but the venue manager disappeared. I simply didn’t see him after a certain time.
That meant that I became the point person for everything, even things I couldn’t possibly know. But that’s all right: I can find things out when I need to. I spent the rest of the wedding day answering questions and solving problems that should have fallen to the venue staff. The guests never knew anything was awry; even the bridal couple never knew. Only the bride’s mother and I were making sure that everyone else had a happy time.
The moral of the story is this: Good planning is very important, but no one can foresee everything. If you want your wedding day to go as planned, it is also important to have someone who is your advocate on hand to solve problems and smooth over difficulties.
Apr 15, 2013 | vendors, wedding planning
Spilled Ink Press, as they appear on their website.
The husband-and-wife team of Tony and Amanda is Spilled Ink Press. They are a small press with a big impact. Both trained as architects, they bring their design sensibilities to all sorts of paper products: invitations, thank-you notes, greeting cards, etc.
Not only does Spilled Ink do custom and semi-custom designs for all your paper goods, but they also have a dedicated eco-conscious focus. They make sure to purchase all the paper they use from sustainable and recycled sources and even make sure their designs use the paper as efficiently as possible.
For something unique and sustainable, look up Spilled Ink Press.
Apr 8, 2013 | Eco-Friendly Events, wedding planning
I mentioned this event a couple of weeks ago. The Great Wedding Recyclery is a chance for those who have extra wedding items to donate them to a good cause, and for those who need wedding items to find unique pieces at excellent prices. Think of it as a giant wedding garage sale.
This is a great opportunity to green your wedding–or your wedding business. Instead of throwing those things you don’t want out, make sure they get into the hands of someone who needs them. It’s also great for couples on a budget!
The Recyclery will be on Sunday, April 28 at Loft on Lake, 1366 W. Lake St. in Chicago. See the Chicago Green Wedding Alliance website for all the details.
Mar 31, 2013 | Budget Planning, DIY, wedding planning
If you hire a good planner, this is all you should have to think about on your wedding day. Photo by MWD Photography.
I’ve written a lot about do-it-yourself weddings lately, and here are my final thoughts (probably) on the subject. Should you plan and manage your wedding yourself? Yes–and no.
Most people can do much of the planning themselves. Hiring vendors is not difficult. You will probably also want to plan the decor yourself so that it reflects your taste. Of course, if you’d rather not handle all the details yourself, by all means, hire a wedding planner.
The place where a lot of people get stuck in the planning process is scheduling the wedding day and the logistics of making everything happen. It turns out that these are special skills. And so you will likely want to have a professional planner on hand. One of my favorite parts of this job is taking a tangled mass of good ideas and turning it into a usable plan. Actually, I really like seeing the smile of relief on my clients’ faces when I do that.
Even if you are able to do the scheduling and logistics yourself, actually managing what happens on your wedding day is another matter. I like to use a theatre metaphor to describe it: You are the star of the show; you can also be the director and the producer. But you need a good stage manager to make sure that you shine.
This might be predictable coming from me, but I have seen enough problems and near-disasters to know that it really does make a difference: Make sure you have someone with practical, hands-on experience managing your wedding day. Don’t try to do it yourself.
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