Aug 19, 2013 | etiquette, wedding planning
Expect to have to remind people to respond to your invitation.
The typical modern wedding invitation not only says, “RSVP” or “The favor of a reply is requested,” but it also contains a pre-printed reply card and a postage-paid envelope. Despite the ease of replying, many of those honored with a wedding invitation never reply.
According to Miss Manners, there ought to be no need to request a reply, much less enclose a card. Anyone receiving an invitation is supposed to know to reply with a hand-written note in the style of the invitation.
As anyone who has sent out invitations knows, though, the immediate reply is the exception rather than the rule. The unfortunate fact is that after sending out invitations, it will be necessary to follow up with your guests. There will be some who don’t reply, either with an acceptance or with regrets. There are those who don’t reply “because of course I will be there” and there are those who don’t reply “because I can’t make it, anyway.” Unfortunately, you never know which of those is the case.
Expect to call or e-mail your guests starting about three weeks before your wedding. You will need to know how many are coming so you can tell your caterer, so be polite, be persistent, and try not to think about what Miss Manners would say.
Aug 12, 2013 | wedding planning
Here are bridesmen and groomsmaids at a wedding. Photo by Johnny Knight.
Tradition dictates bridesmaids to surround the bride and groomsmen or ushers to stand up with the groom. But plenty of people have good friends of the opposite gender and they ask those friends to stand up with them in their weddings. And why not?
I’m not one to stomp on tradition for the simple sake of overthrowing it, but I do think it is good to keep an open mind. And I have seen some lovely incarnations of this kind of changing thinking.
A couple of times I have seen the groom’s sister as the “best man.” When siblings are close, it only makes sense. I have also seen close male friends of the bride stand up with her. So, if you’re wondering who to ask to stand up with you at your wedding, don’t let tradition narrow your options.
Aug 5, 2013 | vendors, wedding planning
The Orrington Hotel, courtesy of their website.
If you’re interested in having your wedding or other occasion at a hotel but you are looking for something a little bit different, you might consider looking at the Orrington Hotel in Evanston.
The Orrington is both a classic, old-fashioned hotel and a recently updated modern event venue. The building has been in downtown Evanston for decades, but recent renovations have brought it up to date. There is a ballroom unlike any other hotel ballroom I’ve seen. While the decor is pretty standard, there is a huge, sweeping staircase that leads down into the space. It has many dramatic possibilities, including use as the aisle or backdrop for a wedding.
The hotel also has all the standard hotel amenities you would expect: catering, meeting rooms, guest rooms, etc. The staff seems friendly and accommodating. It is also in a great location with any number of restaurants, parks, and shops nearby, if your guests are staying for a long weekend.
If you’re looking for a party venue, take a look at this undiscovered gem.
Jul 29, 2013 | etiquette, wedding planning
Why is the receiving line so rare? Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
The institution of the receiving line seems to have gone out of fashion, if my recent experience is any guide. I can only think of one wedding I have been to or worked on in the last decade or so that had one. My guide in all things etiquette, Miss Manners, says that the receiving line is an inevitable and hospitable institution. She says that the bride, the groom, and various important family members are all obligated to greet every single guest and that the receiving line is the way to ensure that it happens. So why is it that no one does this any more? I’d love to hear your thoughts. (Log in on Facebook for the discussion.)
Jul 22, 2013 | Eco-Friendly Events, wedding planning
What can you to green your giving and receiving? Image by theblondephotographer.com.
The gifts you receive and give on the occasion of your marriage might not be the largest contributors to environmental degradation, but they may give your guests an opportunity to contribute to your eco-conscious wedding.
Instead of a gift registry, you might ask your guests to make donations to your favorite causes (including environmental ones), instead of giving material gifts. There are even ways to set up a donation gift registry. Sites such as the Green Bride Guide have green gift registries, as well. For those who give material gifts, ask them to use recycled wrapping paper–and then reuse it when you give a gift. If you have a stack of presents, be sure to recycle the wrapping paper, boxes, and packing material.
If you are giving gifts to your wedding party, members of your family, or each other, think about eco-conscious gifts. There are thousands of websites devoted to green, eco-friendly, sustainable gift-giving. There are also artists in your community (and on websites such as Etsy) who use upcycled materials. Buying local also reduces the carbon footprint of your gift.
Green gift-giving is one of the easiest things you can do to green your wedding.
Jul 15, 2013 | etiquette, wedding planning
Here is a theatrical scenic element--lovingly made by the groom and incorporating symbols important to the bride and groom. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
As you may recall, I’ve been reading Miss Manners on {Painfully Proper} Weddings by the inimitable Judith Martin. I am a big fan of Miss Manners, but sometimes I disagree with her. This is one of those times.
You see, Miss Manners has a categorical dislike for any element of show business poking its nose into a wedding. As a show business professional (as I have been for decades), I think she is overlooking some important things.
For one thing, the art of theatre as we know it now came originally from the religious rituals of ancient Greece. So, there don’t need to be separate categories for religion and for spectacle. Some modern religions have more spectacle than others, but there is often a place in religion for a visually representative ritual.
But also, as every theatre artist knows, an element of spectacle is only any good if it reinforces the main theme. If it is extraneous to the main concept of two people solemnly marrying each other, then it should go. But if it reinforces that all-important idea, then I think it has a place in a wedding ceremony.
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