Why I Stay Until the End

A pile of wedding gifts on a table, with four vases holding bouquets behind them.

Who makes sure the gifts all go home with the couple? I do, of course! Photo by Peter Coombs.

A venue manager remarked to me recently how unusual it is that I always stay until the very end of every wedding.  She said, “Most planners leave at 10:00.”  I’ve heard that before, and I think it is a mistake.

It’s true that from the time the dance floor opens until the end of the party, there isn’t much for a planner or coordinator to do.  In fact, that might be the first time all night that I sit down.  But I always find that there is plenty to do once the DJ stops and the bar closes.  Here are some of the things I do:

  • Remove the decor elements.
  • Pack up gifts and make sure they get into the correct car.
  • Call cabs for guests.
  • Sort out the unused wine, beer, and liquor and send it home with the proper person.
  • Make sure the centerpieces leave the venue.
  • Help keep rental and non-rental property separated.
  • Clear out extra favors.
  • Make sure the cake top goes home with the couple.

That’s just a small sampling of the things I always find to do at the end of the party.  Very often, these are things that the couple has not thought of in advance, so to take a lot of the pressure off of them, I just take care of them.

Non-traditional Wedding: Bowling Alley

Anyone want to go bowling?

Anyone want to go bowling?

There aren’t as many committed bowlers out there as there used to be, but if you and your future spouse happen to be bowlers, why not get married at the lanes?

Plenty of bowling alleys have party rooms.  The size of the room will limit the number of guests, of course, but that can work to your advantage.  Having 150 of your nearest and dearest at your bowling party wedding could be a bit much, and keeping your wedding to a manageable size will also keep your costs under control.

I imagine a bowling alley wedding might go something like this:  Ceremony in the party room first, then everyone goes to bowl a couple of games while cocktails and appetizers are served.  After that, a buffet opens in the party room and everyone can eat.  And then bowl some more.

I’m very far from the first person to think of this idea.  If you do a search for “bowling alley wedding,” you’ll see that there are a lot of photos of people getting married in bowling alleys.  The nice thing is that in such a venue, you can go upscale or you can have a more casual wedding.

However you do it, one thing is for sure: It will be a memorable wedding.

Time Management for Wedding Planning, Part I

Good planning has good results.  Photo by Johnny Knight.

Good planning has good results. Photo by Johnny Knight.

As you might imagine, I know a thing or two about time management.  I’d like to share some tips with you.  While these are applicable to just about everything in life, they are especially useful when it comes to wedding planning.

It’s tempting to procrastinate on projects until you’re close to the deadline, but that tends to be a bad idea for event planning.  One way to avoid that syndrome is to set yourself mini-deadlines.  For example, you could say that you want to have an officiant hired by a certain date and a florist figured out three weeks later.  And don’t wait until the deadline to start working on the project.  You can save yourself many headaches by working slowly and steadily.  It doesn’t give you an endorphin rush, but it doesn’t give you ulcers, either.

I find the easiest way to make a timeline is to work backwards.  Start with your final deadline (the wedding day!) and work back through everything that needs to be done.  Be realistic–or perhaps pessimistic–about how long it will take to do things.  And if you miss a deadline, it’s important to simply forgive yourself and keep working.

And remember, these are only guidelines, not iron-clad rules, and sometimes the best way to stay on track is to break the rules.  But if you need some guidance, these are a good place to start.

My Best Wedding Planning Tips

If this your idea of wedding dessert?  Go for it! Photo by Becca Heuer Photography.

If this your idea of wedding dessert? Go for it! Photo by Becca Heuer Photography.

I ran into a friend of my husband’s recently.  She and her longtime beau are engaged, and she wanted to pick my brain to help her get started planning.  I want to share with you some of what I told her, which constitutes Lisa’s Very Best Wedding Planning Tips:

Tip #1: As I tell everyone I work with, in order to plan a wedding, you have to know what is required and what is optional.  In Illinois, the only thing required for a legal marriage is that you get a marriage license at least one day (and no more than 60 days) before the wedding and have someone qualified sign it.  Everything else is optional.

Tip #2: In order to have a successful wedding, you absolutely must do the following:  You must end up married to the correct person at the end of the day.  As long as that happens, your wedding is a success.  If anything else goes wrong, it doesn’t affect whether your wedding is successful or not.

Tip #3: Everyone on the planet will give you sage advice on what you must do or should do or ought to do at your wedding.  Some of them will have a piece of good advice.  Most of them will not.  Feel free to smile and reply to every bit of wedding advice as follows, “I’m so glad you care enough to want to help me.”  Then plan the wedding that makes sense to you.

Tip #4: Sometimes, people you care a great deal about will want you to do or not to do something at your wedding.  When faced with a situation that might provoke serious conflict, ask yourself whether it’s more important to have your way or more important to preserve the relationship.

Come to think of it, that’s pretty good advice for marriage, itself!

Non-traditional Wedding: At the Ballpark

Nice backdrop for a wedding?

Nice backdrop for a wedding?

Who ever heard of a wedding at a ballpark?  And yet, people get married at Major League stadiums every year.  If you’re both baseball fans, yes, it can be done.

From the research I’ve done, it seems that most ballpark weddings take place when the stadium is not otherwise in use.  Many stadiums have party rooms, suites, or other facilities that are suitable for both wedding ceremonies and for receptions.  You probably have to use their caterer.  But since there’s a high probability that you’ll want to serve ballpark food, you know they can handle it.

Could you get married at the ballpark on game day?  That remains to be seen.  I’d love to work with a couple that wants to find out the answer to that question!

Body Positive Weddings

As I mentioned last week, there are a lot of body issues that come up in connection with weddings.  While there is already an unreasonable standard of perfection for women’s bodies in the culture at large, that standard seems to be magnified about 1000 times when it is focused on a wedding.

For example, there is an entire sub-industry dedicated to weight loss for brides-to-be.  The bridal magazines also uphold the idea of the size zero bride.  And the wedding fashion industry preys on the fears suggested by the magazines by encouraging brides to order a wedding gown four sizes too large “just in case”–so they can charge hundreds of dollars for unnecessary alterations.

I call BS on all that.  As part of my wedding planning practice, I want to encourage body positive weddings.  I was inspired recently by reading an article in the Guardian titled, “My wedding was perfect–and I was fat as hell the whole time.”  The author analyzes many of the issues involved in being a fat bride and makes beautiful sense of them.  She’s also an inspiration for how to get married in a body positive way.

I remember a client of mine confiding in me the night before her wedding that she was afraid she wouldn’t be beautiful enough at her wedding.  I was glad to be able to reassure her, as I would truthfully be able to reassure anyone, that she would be gorgeous.  No matter who you are, if you’re happy to be getting married, you’ll be beautiful on your wedding day.

brides

Every body is beautiful–especially on their wedding day. Photos by Sprung Photo, Happy Buddy PhotoArt, Agnes Malorny Photography, MWD Photography, and christytylerphotography.com.

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