Nov 14, 2016 | wedding planning
“Shall we tip the limo driver?” Photo by Happy Buddy PhotoArt.
Here’s something I haven’t touched on in a while: I am asked by clients sometimes about tipping wedding or party vendors. Now, I’m not an etiquette expert, but here is what I know:
It is customary to tip people who provide a service to you if they are employees of a company. For example, servers, bartenders, hair stylists, and drivers who are employed by a caterer, a service company, a salon, or a limo company are very usual recipients of tips. If those people are self-employed, however, tips are not customary. In other words, if your limo driver is the owner of her own company, then she sets her fees, so it is not required to tip her. That is in contrast to the hair stylist who works for an hourly wage at a salon. He is generally tipped.
At the same time, it is never wrong to tip someone if they have provided you with exceptional service. If someone goes above and beyond the call of duty, you will never be wrong to show your appreciation in a tangible way.
Be sure to read your contracts, though. Some vendor contracts (especially catering) already include a gratuity. Some contracts will specify that a gratuity is appreciated but not required. Some, of course, won’t mention it at all. If a self-employed vendor’s contract requires a tip, you might want to discuss that provision before signing.
I also understand that it is not customary to tip musicians. But the rule still applies: Anyone who gives exceptional service might merit a reward.
And how much should you tip? That is up to you and depends on several factors. One way you can gauge the correct amount is as a percentage of the total you are paying to a vendor. 10% to 20% is the usual range. You probably also want to take into account the level of service. At a recent wedding, the bartenders did lots and lots of extra work to keep the guests happy. The bride and groom made sure their tip was generous. You can also ask your planner or coordinator if anyone working on the day of your event merits a tip–or doesn’t.
These are, of course, only general guidelines. Common sense will help you figure out the rest.
Nov 7, 2016 | wedding planning
Photo by Peter Coombs.
As usual, my prices will increase on the first of the year. That means that right now is an excellent time to book me for a 2017 wedding or event. I’m planning a modest increase to my day-of coordinating fee that will also have an impact on my full-planning prices.
I held my prices at the same level for several years in a row when the economy was so bad. Now, I have a cost-of-living increase that goes into effect on January 1.
The moral of the story is this: If you’ve been thinking about getting in touch with me about your party or wedding next year, don’t wait until January. I’m always happy to meet with you at no charge to get acquainted and figure out how I can help you.
Oct 24, 2016 | wedding planning
Full-service caterers can set out a beautiful buffet.
I’ve written in the past about the difference between “catering” and “full-service catering.” After working with a couple of not-full-service caterers recently, I have a few more thoughts.
As I’ve said before, any restaurant, chef, or catering company can do “catering.” That might be as simple as bringing big foil pans of food to your location and dropping it off–along with paper plates and plastic forks. Especially when restaurants say that they do “catering,” often they mean only that they can make quantities of food for a crowd and bring the food to you.
There are also companies that cater parties–and some even bill themselves as “full-service”–that will cook, bring the food to you, serve it, and even do some of the clean-up. They are almost always less expensive than the real full-service caterers. The reason they can afford to cater for so much less is that they agree to be at your location for a specified amount of time–just enough to set out the food, serve, clean up, and go.
If you hire a full-service caterer at full price, in addition to taking care of the food, they will also show up early enough to set up the furniture (for both the ceremony and the reception, if it is a wedding); put the tablecloths on the tables; set the tables; move furniture, as needed; and stay until the very end of the party to clean up the room and put everything away. Another advantage of a full-service caterer is that they will take care of rentals, including dishes. You don’t have to have paper plates at your party or wedding.
Another thing I like about full-service caterers is that the bartenders are also their staff, and that means that there are no miscommunications between the caterer and the bartending staff. It means that all the necessities for bartending will be available (ice, lemons, limes, and so on) without any last-minute trips to the store.
While I prefer to work with full-service caterers, I do understand that sometimes it makes sense to use a caterer who offers fewer services. The best way to handle a caterer who doesn’t offer all the needed services is to facilitate communication between your caterer, your bartender, and your planner or coordinator to make sure that nothing is missed.
Sep 26, 2016 | wedding planning
All you really need for a wedding is the marriage license, and someone to sign it.
I’ve been seeing and hearing more and more about surprise weddings, also known as pop-up weddings. I think it’s a very fun idea. In case you haven’t heard of it, here’s what happens: The guests are invited (by the couple getting married) to be somewhere on some pretext–perhaps a holiday brunch, or a special family dinner. When they are all assembled, the couple announces that this is their wedding, and they have the ceremony. Usually, the promised brunch or dinner (or some other form of party) happens afterwards.
You might wonder whether or not this concept is a good idea. I don’t have any personal experience of it, but a friend of mine was delightfully surprised when her son and his fiancee did this. It certainly eliminated any wedding planning stress my friend might have otherwise had! I’ve also heard other stories from people who have attended, officiated at, or been married at a surprise wedding. The experience seems to be pretty uniformly positive. It is less stressful than a traditional wedding and is good for people who like surprises. From what I can gather, most surprise weddings have a small guest list, so it is also a less expensive way to get married. It makes no less of a splash for being small, though!
You might wonder how I feel as a professional wedding planner about this idea. I think it’s great! It allows for a certain amount of flexibility and is fertile ground for non-traditionalism. Don’t be fooled into thinking, though, that a surprise wedding requires any less planning than any other kind. It may even require more, because if you want to get married this way, you won’t have the help of your families–unless you want to spoil the surprise.
Sep 12, 2016 | Non-Traditional Weddings, wedding planning
Lawn games are definitely non-traditional. Photo by Allison Williams Photography.
Non-traditional weddings are getting more press these days, as someone seems to think it’s a trend. But what does “non-traditional” really mean?
I’ve been reading blog posts about non-traditional weddings, and ideas range from the bride wearing flats instead of heels to mixing genders in the wedding party. I notice that a lot of the suggestions are purely decorative: have smaller cake; make your own decor; wear a color that isn’t white; have the men wear suits; carry a bouquet that isn’t flowers; go bareheaded. There are also online lists of non-traditional wedding themes, which mostly seem to relate to various pop culture phenomena. Those are good starts, if you’re planning to go the non-traditional route. But there are lots of other options open to you. Here are some ideas I’ve seen implemented at weddings that are definitely out of the box:
- The guests gathered in a building in the park with a gorgeous view of the lake and the skyline. There were snacks to eat, and the bar was open. After half an hour of cocktail party, when everyone had arrived, the bride, the groom, and a judge stood in the middle of the room and got everyone’s attention for a brief wedding ceremony. Four minutes later, the buffet (from the couple’s favorite restaurant) opened, and everyone ate, talked, and hugged the bride and groom.
- The guests sat in chairs on a lawn in the forest preserve facing the woods. The bride and groom came out of the woods to face their guests, where they were married. Then, everyone adjourned to the nearby picnic shelter, which had been decorated by the bride’s family. A taco truck and a gelato truck provided dinner, and there were games on the patio.
- The bride and groom rented a vacation house on a lake for the weekend, where all their close family stayed. Chairs, picnic tables, and picnic blankets were set up facing the lake for the guests. The bride and groom greeted the guests as they arrived. Each person in the processional was introduced by the officiant with a few words. After the ceremony, the photographer took a group picture of everyone there, with the lake as the backdrop. For a couple of hours after the ceremony, there were lawn games, boat rides, a face painter, and a Bozo Buckets tournament. Then the barbecue truck showed up and grilled a big buffet dinner, with funnel cakes for dessert. The kids decorated cookies in the house. At sunset, everyone went home, having enjoyed a beautiful day on the lake.
Of course, if you do decide to break the rules (such as they are), expect a certain amount of pushback from family and friends. Here’s an article written by a bride about how she is coping with some of that. The short version is this: It’s your wedding, so do what suits you. The nicest weddings I’ve ever been to have been the ones that reflect the true personalities of the couple getting married. If you’ve never been the normal one, then why should your wedding be normal? It will be much nicer if you are true to yourselves.
Jul 25, 2016 | wedding planning
Kids are always the first (and last) ones on the dance floor. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
I read an article in Salon recently about inviting kids to weddings, and it sparked a long, divisive conversation in a group of wedding professionals. Half the people in the conversation (or more) were of the opinion that children don’t belong at weddings. The rest of us thought the opposite.
The arguments against children at weddings were that they are disruptive to the proceedings and that parents get drunk and don’t supervise their children. As several people pointed out in the discussion, there are some underlying assumptions to these arguments that ought to be considered.
For example, what is your wedding all about? Is it an expensive performance that is expected to go flawlessly, like a stage show? Is the reception a boozy party for adults to let their hair down and get drunk? Or is it an inclusive family celebration?
I would argue that if you are putting on a performance, then you might want to avoid having small kids there. They can be unpredictable and spoil the illusion. If your reception is all about everyone getting drunk, then definitely leave the kids off the guest list. It’s not appropriate to have unsupervised children at a bar.
But if your goal is to have a party where your families and friends can come together to enjoy the company and celebrate your wedding day with you, then it would be very sad to leave the kids out. Sure, one of them is likely to do something unexpected, and some poor parent may be stuck in the church lobby with a wailing baby. But that’s what happens with children, and is no cause to leave them out.
Recent Comments