Jun 24, 2019 | DIY
If you hire a good planner or coordinator, this should be all you have to think about on your wedding day. Photo by The Still Life Photography.
I’ve written a lot about do-it-yourself weddings lately, and here are my final thoughts on the subject. Question: Should you plan and manage your wedding yourself? Answer: No—and yes.
Most people can do much of the planning themselves. Hiring vendors is not difficult, although finding excellent ones can be if you don’t already know where to look. You might also want to plan the decor yourself so that it reflects your taste. Of course, if you’d rather not handle all the details yourself, by all means, hire a wedding planner. We’re always happy to do the planning part!
The place where a lot of people get stuck in the planning process is scheduling the wedding day and the logistics of making everything happen. It turns out that these are special skills. And so you will likely want to have a professional planner or coordinator on hand. One of my favorite parts of this job is taking a tangled mass of good ideas and turning it into a usable plan. Actually, I really like seeing the smile of relief on my clients’ faces when I do that.
Even if you are able to do the scheduling and logistics yourself, actually managing what happens on your wedding day is another matter. I like to use a theatre metaphor to describe it: You are the star of the show; you can also be the director and the producer. But you need a good stage manager to make sure that you shine.
This might be predictable coming from me, but I have seen enough problems and near-disasters to know that it really does make a difference: Make sure you have someone with practical, hands-on experience managing your wedding day. Don’t try to do it yourself.
Jun 17, 2019 | DIY
After you consider all the options, you just might want to hire a professional DJ for your wedding or event. Photo courtesy of Cage+Aquarium.
After decor (which I talked about last week), the most frequent kind of DIY I see at weddings is music. I have coordinated weddings where all the music was provided by playlist on various electronic devices. At the risk of alienating my musician and DJ friends, I have to say that this is one area where you can sometimes get away with doing it yourself. But there are definitely some big pitfalls to be aware of, if this is your plan.
A professional DJ or band brings to your wedding two very large advantages: a sound system and a Master of Ceremonies. These things can be arranged for otherwise, but by paying professionals you are also obtaining these two important things.
Sound systems can be rented (for a price), but you also need someone to set up and run the sound system. (Please don’t assume that your planner team will do this.) DJs or a band often also bring a sound system that can be used for your ceremony, as well as for background music during cocktail hour and dinner, as well as for dancing. They may also put in some time and effort to move their equipment between ceremony and reception.
There are drawbacks, of course: If you want DIY music, you will have to spend considerable time in advance making play lists. And someone needs to press “play” on the MP3 player at all the right times. The very biggest drawback of DIY music is that the play lists are all made in advance and they can’t respond to the mood on the dance floor the way a DJ can. A good DJ can get people on the dance floor and make sure everyone is having a good time.
You will also need someone to make announcements at your wedding. Typical announcements include: introducing the wedding party; announcing the cake cutting and special dances; introducing those who are making toasts; and making other important announcements at the reception. You might have a friend who is an appropriate choice for MC. But if you have a friend act as MC, it might be important to impress upon her or him the necessity of remaining fairly sober until all the announcements have been made. A tipsy MC is not always the most effective MC.
DIY music is a viable option for your wedding reception. (And don’t overlook another way to do it yourself: If you have musician friends, ask if they can play for the ceremony or the reception.) As with any kind of DIY project, it requires forethought and planning and some extra time to make it happen, and it may have drawbacks and expenses you hadn’t considered. Make sure it is the right thing before you commit to doing it yourself.
Jun 10, 2019 | DIY
If you have the time and the ability, you can go all-out and make a chandelier for your wedding tent, as this bride did.
I’m still thinking about DIY weddings, and about when DIY is a good idea and when it is not. One of the most successful kinds of do-it-yourself wedding planning is in the area of decor.
There are some kinds of decor that are better left to professionals. Things like flowers (see my thoughts on that here) and lighting fall in that category. If you want to hang large objects from a ceiling, I would definitely recommend hiring someone for that, too.
But there are lots and lots of things that are suitable for DIY: table runners, table numbers, card box, place cards, photo props, menus, programs, favors. Especially if you are planning unique decor, it may be easier and cheaper to make it yourself, rather than hunting down the perfect item at craft shops, second-hand stores, rental shops, and the internet.
Of course, it takes extra time–sometimes lots of extra time–and a little skill to do it all yourself. As always, plan carefully and leave yourself enough time. You don’t want to end up like a friend of mine who was frantically hand-writing place cards late on the night before her wedding. Plan to have it all done early and get help if you need it. And don’t feel like you need to do it all yourself. There’s no shame in hiring a professional to do things you can’t.
Jun 3, 2019 | DIY
Here’s another post about DIY weddings. Let’s talk about wedding flowers. Is it a good idea to do your own wedding flowers? Or should you pay a professional to do them for you?
Perhaps because her livelihood is on the line, a florist friend of mine refers to DIY wedding flowers as “f— it up yourself” flowers. And because I don’t want to anger all my florist colleagues, I am going to agree with her, most of the time.
DIY flowers can be perfectly nice!
The reason you hire a professional floral designer is because they have specialized knowledge. It’s true that you can send someone to the farmer’s market on the morning of your wedding to pick up flowers. But will the buds all be open? Florists know how to time the opening of flowers so your wedding flowers look picture-perfect. They also ensure that the flowers stay fresh until they are needed. In addition, they have access to more sources of flowers and so can provide a more interesting look than you can do yourself with whatever is available at a store. And do you really want to be tying bouquets and putting together centerpieces on the morning of your wedding? You’ll probably be busy getting your hair done and having your picture taken. (Be sure to talk to your planner or coordinator about the day’s schedule before you commit to this option!)
But these flowers from May Floral are utterly gorgeous. Photo by Cage + Aquarium.
On the other hand, I have seen DIY flowers that are perfectly nice. It all depends on the look you are going for. If you want a home-made look or a casual feel, your flowers might end up the way you want them if you do them yourself. If you have special training in art, design, or floral arrangement, you’re probably ahead of the curve. But this is one area where I would recommend to most people to hire a professional, especially if the flowers are important to you. Doing it yourself is probably not as easy as the pros make it look.
May 27, 2019 | DIY
Today’s DIY topic is: Photography. Once again, it’s not a matter of you doing it yourself on your wedding day, but the difference between hiring a professional and asking a friend or family member to take pictures for you.
You might look at the cost of professional photography (which can run from $1,500 on the very low end to over $6,000 on the high end) and you might think you’d be better off without a professional photographer. You might be right. Or you might be very disappointed. It all depends on how important photos are to you.
Here is a photo taken by a professional, Agnes Malorny of Agnes Malory Photography.
If having high quality photos of your entire wedding and reception is not of interest to you, you can ask a friend or relative to document the day for you. Someone with good photography equipment can probably take a few decent photos for you.
But if having professional quality photos is important, it’s difficult to get them without paying professional prices. Professional wedding photographers have equipment and skills that ordinary mortals lack. The best consistently take copious, excellent photos that capture the essence of your day. They are on the spot and work hard so they don’t miss any important moments. It’s also important that they are not guests, but are hired to work for the entire time, so they will be alert and sober until the time they leave. They know what to look for and how to take good (and often stunning) photos of your wedding.
Here is a picture of the same cake, taken by me, an amateur. Not as nice, is it?
If you have a friend or relative take photos, they may or may not have the same equipment. Unless they are professionals or truly talented amateurs, they probably don’t have the same skills. And you won’t know until the wedding day if they will be paying attention for the whole evening. At some point, a friend or relative is going to stop working and start enjoying the party, which is an option a paid professional doesn’t have.
As with all DIY projects, think this one through before you make a decision. There is a definite difference in quality between amateur and professional photos. Decide what is important to you, and then pay a professional if you can’t live without those photos.
May 20, 2019 | DIY
Professional officiant, Dr. Elizabeth-Anne Stewart, at work. Photo by The Still Life Photography.
There are plenty of elements of weddings that are suitable for Do-It-Yourself projects, and some that are totally unsuitable. When it comes to officiants, you can’t really do it yourself: Another person is required to sign your marriage license, at least in Illinois. The real question at hand is whether you should hire a professional or ask your cousin to get ordained at the Church of the Latter-Day Dude. I have to say that I have been at weddings with both kinds of officiants, and there are advantages both ways. I have a personal preference for working with professional officiants, but (judging by the number of people who don’t use them) apparently that’s a matter of taste.
Professional wedding officiants, clergy, and wedding celebrants all have some training in the art of ritual, which is one of the keys to a good wedding ceremony. They can also elicit from you what you want in a wedding ceremony, and then follow through. They are generally very polished public speakers, who won’t mumble and “um” their way through your ceremony. Many of them are also trained counselors who can do pre-marital counseling, if you wish. They already know what they need in order to create a good wedding ceremony, and they are accustomed to working with other professionals to make the event smooth and easy for their clients.
The advantage to having a friend or family member officiate at your wedding is that that person already knows you, will understand what kind of ceremony you want, and will be able to add all sorts of personal touches because of your relationship. If you want a more relaxed feel to your ceremony, having a non-professional officiant might be the way to go. But be aware that you may also end up with a less polished ceremony.
And, of course, some people are lucky enough to have clergy in the family so that you can get the best of both worlds. If you do, be sure to ask them to officiate at your wedding. They will likely be more than happy to do so.
Recent Comments