DIY Weddings: Catering

Of all the things you might want to do yourself for your wedding, the one I would recommend against without hesitation is catering your wedding reception yourself.  You might think this would be obvious, but I have talked to people who thought they could do this.

Did I mention that presentation is a professional catering skill?  Photo courtesy of Artisan Events.

Did I mention that presentation is a professional catering skill? Photo courtesy of Artisan Events.

I have actually heard of self-catered weddings that were pulled off with a lot of help from friends and family.  I know it can be done, especially if there are people with special skills involved.  So, I won’t say you should never, ever do it.  I’m just going to give you a lot of reasons not to.

Caterers do a lot more than cook in quantity.  They also manage the kitchen, order and return rental items, keep the food (and so your reception) on schedule, hire and manage serving and bar staff, set up tables, chairs and linens, set the tables, and clean up.  Caterers also have food sanitation licenses, meaning there is a low probability of spoiled food or food poisoning from their kitchens.  They know how much ice to buy and bring.  Some of them own serving equipment that they provide at no charge.

And that is just the minimum of what a professional caterer has to offer.  I would say that unless you are able to provide everything a caterer brings to the table, hire a professional and save cooking for a crowd for another party.

DIY Weddings: Music

After decor, the most frequent kind of DIY I see at weddings is in the music.  I have coordinated many weddings where all the music was provided by a laptop or MP3 player.  At the risk of alienating my musician and DJ friends, I have to say that this is one area where you can get away with doing it yourself.  But there are definitely things to be aware of if this is your plan.

The important thing is that everyone is having a good time.  Photo by Magical Moments Photography.

The important thing is that everyone is having a good time. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.

A professional DJ or band brings to your wedding two very large advantages:  a sound system and a Master of Ceremonies.  These things can be arranged for otherwise, but by paying professionals you are also obtaining these two important things.

Sound systems can be rented (for a price), but you also need someone to set up and run the sound system.  You will have to put in a good bit of time in advance making play lists.  And someone needs to press “play” on the MP3 player.  One drawback of DIY music is that the play lists are all made in advance and they can’t respond to the mood on the dance floor the way a DJ can.

You might have a friend who is an appropriate choice for MC.  You will need someone to make announcements at your wedding.  Typical announcements include:  introducing the bridal party; announcing the cake cutting; introducing those who are making toasts; announcing the bouquet and garter tosses; and any other important events that happen at the reception.  If you have a friend act as MC, it might be important to impress upon her or him the necessity of remaining fairly sober until all the announcements have been made.

DIY music is definitely a viable option for your wedding reception.  (And don’t overlook another way to do it yourself:  If you have musician friends, ask if they can play for the ceremony or the reception.)  As with any kind of DIY project, it requires forethought and planning and some extra time to make it happen.

DIY Weddings: Flowers

Do-It-Yourself is all the rage.  And there are lots of things you can do yourself for your own wedding (or a friend’s). But there are some DIY ideas that require a little more thought before implementation.  This is the second post in a series on the beauties and pitfalls of DIY.

Perhaps because her livelihood is on the line, a florist friend of mine refers to DIY wedding flowers as “f— it up yourself” flowers.  And because I don’t want to anger all my florist colleagues, I am going to agree with her–up to a point.

This is a professionally designed and created floral display.  Photo by Magical Moments Photography.

This is a professionally designed and created floral display. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.

The reason you hire a professional floral designer is because they have specialized knowledge.  It’s true that you can send someone to the farmer’s market on the morning of your wedding to pick up flowers.  But will the buds all be open?  Florists know how to time the opening of flowers so your wedding flowers look picture-perfect.  And do you really want to be tying bouquets on the morning of your wedding?

There is nothing wrong with this bridesmaid's bouquet that the bride made.

There is nothing wrong with this bridesmaid's bouquet that the bride made.

On the other hand, I have seen DIY flowers that are perfectly nice.  It all depends on the look you are going for.  If you want a home-made look or a casual feel, your flowers might end up the way you want them if you do them yourself.  If you have special training in art, design, or floral arrangement, you’re probably ahead of the curve.  But this is one area where I would recommend to most people to hire a professional, especially if the flowers are important to you.

DIY Weddings: Potlucks

Do-It-Yourself is all the rage.  And there are lots of things you can do yourself for your own wedding (or a friend’s). But I have also heard some DIY ideas that might need a little more thought before implementation.  This is the first post in a series on the beauties and pitfalls of DIY.

This is NOT a potluck, DIY place setting.  Photo by Carasco Photography.

This is NOT a potluck, DIY place setting. Photo by Carasco Photography.

I have been to two potluck wedding receptions, and both of them worked out very well.  They were very different from one another and offer some interesting lessons on how to make this idea work.

One was in a church hall with no caterer or serving staff.  The other was in a rented hall that required a certified kitchen staff.

If you have no hired kitchen staff, the question is who will set up the food and–more importantly–who will clean up.  At the first potluck, the bride asked some of her friends (including me) to take charge of scraping and packing the rented dishes at the end of the day.  Fortunately, this couple have a lot of responsible (and sober) friends who cheerfully stayed to help them.  It was also a daytime wedding, meaning no one had to stay until 1:00 a.m. scraping dishes.  They also had friends help set the tables and set up the buffet.

The second potluck had a professional kitchen staff, which increased the cost but meant that the guests were not involved in running the kitchen.  If you are thinking of having a potluck buffet, this might be a better idea, unless you both have a hall that will allow you not to have hired staff and have friends who are sufficiently responsible.

There are other pitfalls to be avoided at a potluck.  The biggest one is not knowing whether you will have enough food, enough good food, or enough variety.  You can overcome this by asking your guests to tell you what they are bringing and making sure the best cooks bring large quantities.  That requires extra organization and extra time on your part.

And there is one more pitfall to a potluck wedding reception:  One of your relatives will be scandalized.  But if you can live with that, if you want an informal reception, and if you can figure out how to do everything that needs to get done, it’s not impossible.   But I would not recommend it for everyone.  Be sure you think it through before you commit to doing it yourself.

Cake Rental??

Is it a real cake or is it foam?  Only the bride knows!

Is it a real cake or is it foam? Only the bride knows!

Yes, you can rent a wedding cake.  Why would you want to rent a wedding cake?  It’s one way you can save money on your wedding without looking cheap.  Here’s how it works.

You rent a cake from one of the cake rental companies (see below for some ideas).  The “cake” itself is foam but is covered with fondant or frosting in your choice of designs.  Many of these cakes include a compartment for a piece of real cake so the bride and groom can cut a piece together.  The guests are then served pieces from a sheet cake that has been kept in the kitchen.

The advantages of renting a centerpiece fake cake are mostly financial.  Sheet cake is much less expensive than a tiered wedding cake, and cake rental costs a couple of hundred dollars, including shipping, depending on what company you use and whether you use one of their designs or one of your own.

But if you’re having an outdoor wedding or a wedding in a hot location, you might also want to consider renting a cake.  The foam cakes do not slip in the heat and can stand up to the hottest weather and still look beautiful.  I have personally coordinated two weddings where either the cake collapsed in the heat or it almost did.  A foam cake might be a very inexpensive insurance policy if you are concerned about keeping a tiered cake standing on a hot day.

Some of the cake companies even claim that a fake cake is more eco-friendly than a real one.  They claim that since their cakes do not need baking or refrigeration, they save energy.  I would have to counter that by saying that they use additional energy beyond what is used in the cake that is actually eaten, and they also use energy in shipping.  They say that the foam for the cakes is re-used or recycled, but most kinds of foam are not actually recyclable.  But even if this idea is not particularly green, it could still save you money if you’re on a budget.  And if you want it to be as green as possible, find a vendor as close to you as possible so the shipping distance is short.

I have found two companies that rent wedding cakes.  This is not an endorsement of either, as I have not worked with them.  Please use your best judgment and check their references.  Rent the Cake of Your Dreams is in East Aurora, New York.  Cake Rental is in Grandville, Michigan.  I’m sure there are more people providing this service, as well.  A little research will turn them up and then you can have a beautfiul wedding cake without breaking the bank.

Rerun: Tips on Hiring a Wedding Coordinator

Let me sweat the details so you don't have to.  Courtesy of sprungphoto.com.

Let me sweat the details so you don't have to. Courtesy of sprungphoto.com.

Happy New Year!  I’ve run this one before, but I updated it a little and I hope it is still helpful!

If you have plans to get married this year, you are probably thinking–right about now–about hiring a wedding planner or a day-of wedding coordinator. If you’re getting married this year and are not thinking about any such thing, may I recommend that you do so before the best planners get booked up for the summer and fall seasons?

It’s not too difficult to hire a day-of coordinator. You will actually come up with more choices if you do an internet search for “wedding planner,” rather than “day-of wedding coordinator.” Any wedding planner worth her pay is also a day-of coordinator.

Once you have found a handful of prospects, it’s time to interview them. You can start with an e-mail, of course, but I don’t recommend that you hire anyone until you have met them in person. Sometimes this is impractical, of course, especially if you live in a different city from the one you are planning to marry in. In that case, be sure to have a detailed telephone conversation before signing a contract. Some of the things you may want to consider are: the planner’s experience and expertise; the planner’s personality and how it fits with yours; the kinds of ideas she or he can bring to the table; the fee charged and what you will get for what you pay.

Don’t necessarily think that the lowest price is the best deal. As with any vendor, you get what you pay for. Sometimes the person with the lowest price is the best one for the job, but other times someone with a very low price may not offer as many important services as someone who charges a little more. Get enough information on the services included in the fee so that you can tell the difference. Find out what the price range is by asking several coordinators. You don’t have to hire the most expensive one, but you will probably find one in the middle of the price range who has all the characteristics you want.

Before you hire, get references. Don’t just get names and phone numbers or e-mail addresses. Call those people or e-mail them and ask them questions about their experience with the coordinator. Ask them if they would recommend the person. Ask them if they think they got value for their money. Ask if there were any unresolved problems.

Finally, don’t pay anything until you have a signed contract with the coordinator. (This is actually good advice for hiring any vendor.) The coordinator will probably send you a contract, but don’t assume that this is a “take it or leave it” proposition. All contracts are negotiable. If there is a clause you think needs to be in the contract, ask to have it added. If you don’t like something, ask if it can be removed. You may have to give something in return, but it is always worth a try. Don’t be intimidated by legalese. If there’s anything you don’t understand, ask to have it clarified. And only sign the contract once you are sure you understand everything and agree with it. It takes some work, but it is always worth while to have a good contract in place. It protects both parties.

And once you have hired a wedding coordinator, keep them informed of your decisions. If they ask for information, get it to them as soon as possible. They are looking out for your best interests and need to know what you want and what you are doing so they can take care of all the details while you are busy getting married and enjoying yourself.

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