Becoming the Grown-Up (Part Three)

This bride asked only her sisters to be her bridesmaids--a wise choice! Photo by Magical Moments Photography.

In addition to the stories I know about dealing with parents and fiancés, I have heard some horror stories about bridesmaids, too. A wedding is a good time to think very hard about your friendships. When you ask someone to be a bridesmaid, you are pretty much asking for her life-long friendship. You are also asking them to do quite a bit of work and to shell out a lot of money for you. A good rule of thumb is to ask people to be in your wedding if they are close family, friends of the family, or people you have been close to for a long time. Someone you have known for a year or two may or may not turn out to be bridesmaid material. It is better to be safe than to be sorry. Wanting to have a big bridal party is not a good reason to ask someone. Ask yourself: Who are you close to? Who do you trust? Who would you do anything for? Would they do anything for you in return? Who do you think you will be close to in your married life? Those are the people you want around you on such an important occasion.

Also, discuss with your wedding party your expectations for them. Don’t assume that they know what you want. Make sure they know what they are getting into before they agree, including a specific discussion of who will pay for what and how much it will cost. This will save many headaches later.

If you make an effort to deal well with your parents, your fiancé, your friends and your family, you will have lots of help with your planning and a minimum of conflict.