Nov 26, 2019 | Weddings
Who wouldn’t want to post this wonderful photo on social media?
Photo by Gold Grid Studios
Among my clients, the one thing everyone wants is a good photographer. (Fortunately, I know many wonderful photographers!) Because I’m not a big photography person, myself, this has gotten me thinking about how wedding photography has evolved over time–and why it has done so.
A few years ago, I saw my parents’ wedding photos for the first time. They got married in the 1950s. Think about it: I had never seen those pictures growing up and only saw them when I was an adult, and then it was almost by accident. There were a few dozen (because film was in rolls of 12) small black-and-white photos. By today’s standards, they really weren’t very good! The only wedding photo I had ever seen before of my parents’ was the one taken of my mother in her wedding dress in a photographer’s studio. As I recall, that was the picture that was used with the engagement announcement in her hometown paper. I had heard lots of stories about the wedding, but really had no visuals.
I have exactly one photograph from either of my grandparents’ weddings in the early 20th century. There’s a wonderful 8×10 black-and-white photo of my grandmother in her wedding gown and full-length veil flanked by her two bridesmaids (her sister and future sister-in-law). This was also pretty clearly a staged photo taken before the wedding.
Fast forward to my own wedding about 15 years ago. Maybe it’s because my parents’ photos (or lack thereof) had set up this expectation for me, we didn’t have a wedding photographer. (Remember, I hadn’t even seen my parents’ wedding photos then.) We had a couple of guests who were excellent amateur or semi-professional photographers who were happy to take a lot of photos for us, and we got some nice shots. They gave them to us as prints, negatives, and/or slides. We got maybe 150 photos total. I made a little album and I haven’t looked at it in a decade.
When I got married, digital cameras were pretty new, and most people still had film cameras. In the ensuing years, 95% of photography has gone digital. And what this has done is made it possible to have 1,000 or more photos from every wedding. Digital photos also mean that people are much more used to both being photographed and seeing themselves in the photo immediately. The result is that people in general are much more practiced at being photographed. And they seem to like it more, too. So, wedding photography has exploded, and getting good photos is one of the goals of a good wedding.
And then there’s social media. Having the ability to share your photos immediately with your friends or your world makes having them ever so much more valuable. And weddings–well, what could be more beautiful, exciting, or Instagramable than your wedding?
The other thing that has happened due to this change in photography is the increased demand for professional hair and make-up services. After all, if you’re going to be photographed all day for public consumption, a lot of people want to put their best face on. I’m pretty sure my mother and grandmother did their own make-up before their weddings. Today, that’s almost never even considered.
So, in my lifetime, wedding photography has gone from being a sort of a nice luxury that resulted in a small handful of photos to an absolute necessity so that the people getting married can have 1,000 gorgeous, artistic photos to splash all over the internet. I have to wonder what is next. Whatever it is, I know that wedding photographers are going to be right there in the middle of it.
Nov 11, 2019 | wedding planning
Photo by Maia Rosenfeld Photography.
Here’s something I’ve been ruminating about for rather a long time: What, exactly, is “day-of coordinating”? For some context, there are a lot of discussions in planner circles about what it is, what it isn’t, and whether or not it even exists. Let me assure you that, no matter what some planners say, it really does exist and some of us are still doing it.
I completely understand the point of view of some planners when they say that it’s not a real thing. They are saying (if they will allow me to put words in their mouths) that no one ever walks into a wedding to coordinate it without putting in a certain amount of planning time in advance. Or, maybe, some people do do that, but I can’t imagine that it ever turns out very well. The reality is that if I’m coordinating a wedding, I am doing a certain amount of the actual planning.
For the last several years, I’ve noticed that a lot of planners like to call it “month-of coordinating.” This is a nod to the fact that the coordinator is probably going to be involved in the wedding for the last four to six weeks before the wedding day (even though the actual coordinating is really only on the day! But I digress.)
And what happens in those few weeks? What does the coordinator actually do? Well, let’s say you’re planning a wedding and you have found all your own vendors (yay!) and figured out all your own decor (good job!) and you even have an idea of what the timeline of the day is (you’re ahead of the pack!)
Then you hire me to coordinate. The first thing I have to do is get all that information about your plans from you. You send me your vendor contracts, your lists of decor items, and probably a lot of other things. We also do a walk-through at your venue with your caterer, where I ask a lot of questions and listen to everything being said to get the full picture of your plans. On the outside, it may not look like I’m doing much, but in my head, I’m constructing a full picture of your wedding day and of every single thing that has to happen. I’m writing down the timeline details, and I am looking for places where problems might occur.
And that is just the beginning. After that, I talk to each and every one of your vendors to make sure that we all have the same understanding and to see what they need in order to do their jobs. Make-up artists need chairs and tables; musicians and DJs need electricity and protection from the weather; bakeries need refrigerator space; and so on. These are things that don’t sound like much, but they make a surprisingly large difference in how smoothly your wedding day goes. Other vendors also notice where there may be problems that affect their work, and we often spend some time figuring out how to prevent those problems.
So, is that just coordinating? No, it is actually planning your wedding. In fact, it’s by far the most complex part of planning your wedding. Finding vendors is easier (if much more time-consuming). Planning decor is easier. Even budgeting is easier. These nuts-and-bolts logistics are the hardest part of planning. And they are what I do when I am “just coordinating” your wedding.
So, why do I do it? Because putting together all the pieces of your vision and making it come to life are my very, very favorite parts of this job. Turning your dream into reality is a thrill that is unlike any other. I keep doing Day-of Coordinating, with all it entails–because I like it and because I know that I am helping you do something that would be much harder otherwise.
So, no matter what you hear from other planners, there is such a thing as day-of coordinating, and it’s an important service for everyone who is planning a wedding.
Sep 30, 2019 | wedding planning
Who decides on the wedding’s color scheme? You do!!
As much as I’d like to be the superhero who can do every little thing to plan your wedding, realistically there are some very important things that I really can’t do for you. While I can help you hire vendors (make suggestions, visit them with you, discuss pros and cons, etc.) and I can pull all the details together to make sure your event runs smoothly–and I can do a lot of other things, too–there is a list of things you’re still going to have to do in the planning process. Here are a few of the things that come to mind.
The best person to figure out who should sit at each table is you and your spouse-to-be. You know your friends and family, and you can figure out who should be sitting where. Once you have made that list, I can do a lot with it. I usually take the alphabetical list and make a list by table (or reverse the process, depending on what you’ve given me). I like to have both sets of information handy on your wedding day.
Another thing only you can do is choose the music for your wedding day. Whether you are having a DJ, a band, or a Spotify account play your music for both the ceremony and the reception, you know best what your musical taste is and what you want to listen to. I can always give an opinion if I’m asked, but musical taste is very personal.
Similarly, you’re the best choice for deciding what formal photos you want (if any). I can tell you what people often do, but that’s a decision only you can make.
Photographers and DJs often have online forms to fill out that include a great many questions about your personal taste and preferences. It takes a good bit of time of fill them all out, and it’s somehow never at a convenient time, but giving them good information in plenty of time makes their jobs easier. They want to do what you want them to, so you have to tell them what you want. Your planner doesn’t know all of that!
This may be obvious, but you’re the person who signs the contracts with other vendors and pays them. I can help you keep track of which contracts you have signed and when payments are due, but these are things you take care of.
And, finally, one thing I really don’t do is made decisions about what happens during a wedding ceremony. I have opinions about just about everything else that happens on a wedding day, but your officiant is the person who knows best about what kind of wedding ceremony you will have.
Planning a wedding is a long series of small tasks. Your planner can do a lot of them (and probably more than you’ll ever know about), but if you are just getting started on your planning, remember that even if you are working with a planner, you’ll still have a lot of things to take care of. As always, if you need help, just ask. I’m always happy to help, even with the things I can’t do for you.
Aug 27, 2019 | wedding planning
This is what I would call a nice tent!
Well, it happened again: I am back from spending a lot of time helping my clients. But every time I take a deep dive into a job like that, I learn or remember something of importance. This time, I was helping clients with their big, tented backyard wedding reception, so I did some serious thinking about that process.
My clients were a suburban couple with a large yard that had just enough room to hold a tent where they could entertain about 130 people. It was a big tent–or, really, one very large tent and a series of smaller tents to fit the shape of the space. I helped them find a really good tent and rental company, which was also able to provide lighting, fans, tables and chairs, a generator, and draping for the legs of the tents. It looked stellar (see the photo above!)
These clients didn’t want to talk budget with me too much, so I don’t know if their choice to have the party at home was motivated by financial concerns, but I do know that a lot of people consider having a tented party at home because they think that they will have more control over the costs than if they rented a venue.
What I’m here to do today is debunk that idea completely. If you are looking for an affordable venue, you are much better off renting an all-inclusive hall (that will provide tables, chairs, and dishes) than setting up a tent in your backyard. Here’s why:
When you use your yard as your party venue, you basically have to import an entire infrastructure to support your event. You’re putting up the hall (the tent); providing electricity (probably a generator unless your house has a lot of excess electrical capacity (most don’t)); decorating (okay, so you might do this, anyhow, depending on the hall); providing restrooms (unless, again, you have a lot of those in the house); renting all the furniture; and possibly also providing garbage disposal. With the possible exception of decoration and, sometimes, furniture, those are all things that are provided gratis by pretty much any event venue. You also have to think about parking, which is often also part of the package when you rent.
Not only are all those things a lot of work, but they also can cost a substantial amount of money. The smallest high-quality generator I could find for an event was over $2,000. If you add the price of an onsite technician (which I highly recommend), you’re at close to $3,000. And that’s just for the electricity, alone!
By comparison, there are very nice venues that rent for a six-hour event on a Saturday for just barely more than what you’d pay for a generator alone. The one I’m thinking of includes in their rental price: all tables and chairs, including highboys and cabaret tables; all dishes and silverware; a commercial kitchen; newly renovated restrooms; a stage; portable bars; wi-fi; parking; and air conditioning. For very modest fees, you can also add: a sound system, a projection screen, a baby grand piano, and a fire in their wood-burning fireplace. If you add it all up, in this scenario, renting the hall would be exponentially less expensive.
I’m not saying there aren’t good reasons to have a tented backyard party. Sometimes, that’s the thing you want for whatever reason, and I’ll always be happy to help you arrange for whatever you need to make it happen. Just don’t go into it thinking that it’s the least expensive way to have your party.
Jul 29, 2019 | wedding planning
Here I am checking things off the list I made at the walk-through.
Whether I am doing full planning for my clients or coordinating the wedding, I always do a walk-through at the venue with them. Lately, I’ve been getting more questions about the walk-through, so let me (ha!) walk you through the process.
Ideally, I like to have the couple, the caterer, and a representative from the venue all there at the same time. I prefer not to have anyone else there. Sometimes the couple will invite family members, members of the wedding party, the officiant, the DJ, the photographer, the florist, etc. But I’ve noticed that the more people you have in the room, the longer it takes. Yes, it’s great to have a meeting of the minds in person, and it’s one way to solve problems in advance. But I can also accomplish the exact same end via email and phone once we’ve walked through the venue.
There are always certain decisions that need to be made at a walk-through: Where do you want the ceremony set up? Where and when do you want certain things to happen (toasts, cake cutting, dances)? What are we going to do in case of bad weather? Usually, the caterer has a long list of questions they need answered, and the venue has a shorter list. I have all the same questions, so we go through the day step by step to ensure that everyone understands what is planned.
Out of this, I make a master schedule for the entire day, and someone (venue, caterer, or me) makes the ground plan and furniture layout. (It all depends on the situation who does it, but it doesn’t matter as long as it gets done!) I also make a list of the tasks I am responsible for on the wedding day, and a list of items I’ll need to keep track of. I also usually end up with a list of questions for other vendors that I spend the next week or so getting answered.
In all of this, my function is to consolidate and organize and transmit the information to everyone who needs it. I’m the central clearinghouse for everything. And that’s why I always say, “Tell your planner everything you want and everything you are thinking.” That way, I can make sure that things happen just the way you are imagining they will go.
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