Dec 12, 2018 | wedding planning
A good wedding venue is hard to find. Photo by MWD Photography.
Probably the first thing you are going to do if you are planning a wedding is look for a place to hold your wedding. This is somehow always a challenging process, so let me drop a few hints to help you on your way. How do you find the right venue?
Obviously, the first few things you need to know are a) where it is; b) how many people it can hold for the style of party you want; c) is it available on any dates you are considering, and d) how much does it cost? (About that “b),” keep in mind that you can fit more people into a room if they are standing up for a cocktail party than if they are all sitting down at large tables. And the fire marshal has the last word on how many people are permitted in a room.)
Once you have found out which places fit the bill on those four counts, it’s time to start visiting venues. As much information as you can get from a venue’s website, Instagram, and reviews, you really have to go there to see it for yourself. Every wedding is different, and not every location will be suitable for what you have in mind.
Here are some questions to ask yourself when you visit: Is the layout useful for the party you want? Does it have the right ambience or feel? Does it make you happy? It also goes without saying that you should ask practical questions, as well: What caterers are permitted on site? Are the restrooms adequate? What time is the venue available on the wedding day? Will it be accessible to guests who have mobility limitations? Is the owner or manager responsive to your needs?
One thing I have seen happen quite often is that the visit to the first venue changes your mind about what you want and how to accomplish it. Actually being in the place where the dream meets reality can be very formative in your ideas of how your wedding should be. And that’s actually a good thing. Don’t feel compelled to stick to your original vision if you find that it doesn’t stand up to reality. You should not be afraid to change direction at this point. It’s much better to change your mind now, rather than after you have committed large sums of money.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that, as a planner, I get faster and more thorough responses from venues than my clients do. When I do full planning, obviously I’m the point of contact. When I do partial planning, sometimes I give suggestions but my clients are the ones who get in touch with the venue. So, I get to see the difference in response time. I’d always rather make the first contact with a venue, because I know my clients will have a better experience if the venue knows there is a planner involved.
If you’re venue shopping, keep these things in mind as you go along. I think that finding a venue is one of the most difficult parts of wedding planning for most people. I hope you find it a little bit easier now!
Nov 26, 2018 | Budget Planning
Real wedding or styled shoot? (Hint: I’ve never done a styled shoot.) Photo by Gold Grid Studios.
Okay, now that I’ve made it past the busy season, I want to share with you some more thoughts on wedding planning. Right now is prime planning season, so I hope these thoughts are timely for you. Let me know what you think!
In this age of digital marketing and social media, we all know that posting the best photos is a great PR move. No one takes advantage of this the way wedding vendors do. We’re always posting photos of beautiful work we have done to catch the eye of potential clients. I should know: I do it, too! And there’s nothing wrong with it. But I want to draw your attention to one kind of photos, just so that you know exactly what you are seeing when the next gorgeous wedding photo catches your eye.
Wedding vendors love to do what we call “styled shoots.” In case you never heard of them, here is what it is: A group of wedding vendors will get together and design a wedding. A venue will provide the space; a florist and decorator will add flowers, draping, lights, and other decorative touches; a bakery will provide a cake; a rental company will lend linens, dishes, chairs, etc.; models will be hired to wear a designer’s dresses; and so on. Everyone donates their services so a photographer can take intensely beautiful photos that everyone can use on Instagram–and maybe get a wedding blog or magazine to pick up the photos and feature everyone who is involved. Sounds like a great marketing technique! And it is.
But you, as the consumer, don’t necessarily know that these photos are not of a wedding that was paid for by a real person. And the difference that makes is that each of these vendors can bring out their most expensive products or services to display their skills at their very best. It makes sense from a marketing point of view: If I were doing one of these shoots, I would also want to display my talent at its peak.
The problem is that these styled shoots play right into the already over-hyped marketing of wedding products and services that makes some people believe that their wedding must look a certain way–and that way turns out to be rather pricey. It’s hard to tell by looking at these photos that real weddings, the ones on a real budget, may not look just like the styled shoots.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not knocking the wedding vendors who do styled shoots. They need to market themselves the best way they know how, and this is a great tool. But if you are browsing Instagram or Pinterest for wedding inspiration, keep this information tucked in the back of your mind: What you may be seeing is not necessarily someone’s real wedding. It may be some gorgeous-looking marketing. Look for hashtags like #realwedding to see what other people are actually doing. And then enjoy the styled shoot photos, too, because they are often very beautiful!
Oct 31, 2018 | wedding planning
Here’s one location where an aisle runner might actually perform its intended function. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
There’s one bit of wedding tradition that I usually recommend against, and that is the use of aisle runners. They are, fortunately, not as popular now as they were a few years ago, and I’m glad to see them go.
And what is so bad about them, you might ask? I find them to be terribly wasteful. The inexpensive ones that a florist typically supplies or that can be bought online are made from a non-woven synthetic fabric, such as polyester or polypropylene (both petroleum products). Needless to say, these runners anything but biodegradable. And they are a one-use item. After the wedding ceremony, the aisle runner will be thrown out. (I’ve personally thrown out more than one in my career.)
According to my colleague Lynn Fosbender of Pollen Floral Design, an aisle runner used to be a necessary item at a wedding before paved roads were found everywhere. The runner would be drawn down the aisle after the guests were seated to cover all the road dust so it wouldn’t soil the bride’s white gown. With that in mind, the only time a runner might still be useful would be at an outdoor wedding in a location where the aisle was bare dirt or rock.
If you find that a runner is necessary, or highly desirable, there are a few options for eco-friendly aisle runners. One possibility is to purchase a runner made from biodegradable materials, such as burlap, cotton canvas, or cotton duck. These tend to be more expensive than the disposable runners. Another option might be to find someone to make one for you out of a heavy, biodegradable material. This would definitely be more expensive!
Even if you can find (and afford) an aisle runner made from natural materials, the next question is what will become of it after the wedding ceremony. If you can re-sell it to someone who can use it, that would be one eco-friendly choice. Another possibility would be to re-purpose the fabric, if it is clean enough to use. (You could make a lot of throw pillows out of 75 feet of cotton duck!)
But it seems to me that there are very limited options in this realm of wedding paraphernalia. It isn’t easy to find an eco-friendly runner in the first place, and there are few things to do with it afterwards. All that is why I say, “Skip the aisle runner.” It’s a choice that is easy on your budget–and no one will miss it.
Oct 22, 2018 | Budget Planning
Your backyard tented wedding reception can be elegant and beautiful, if it is properly planned. Photo by Christy Tyler Photography.
I have done a lot of backyard weddings in my career. There is a lot to be said for them. There are also some cautions to keep in mind. Here is what I know.
If you or your parents or someone else you know has a suitable yard for large-scale entertaining, it can be a wonderful place for a wedding or reception (or both). If it’s your childhood home, it can have a very warm emotional resonance for you and those who love you. It’s also an inexpensive location, which may be very attractive if you are on a budget. It also can count as an eco-friendly venue.
There are things to think about before you jump in, however. Yes, the location itself is free, but there may be some rather large expenses that go with it. First, you may need to put up a tent in case of bad weather. Any month in Chicago can have freak weather, and there are only a few months in the year when you can count on it not being cold. Fortunately, there are many reliable tent rental companies that offer quality products, good service, and extras like flooring, heaters, lighting, and fans.
The next consideration always on my list is the question of bathrooms. Does the house have enough to accommodate the number of guests you anticipate? Are they accessible for those guests who can’t take many (or any) stairs? If not, you may need to rent portable restrooms–and find a place to put them.
Another thing to think about is the stress a back yard wedding puts on the owners of the house. Make sure both you and they know what they are getting themselves into before you make any final decisions. They may need to move the first floor furniture. They will probably feel obligated to do extra cleaning and yard work. They will have their home turned topsy-turvy for a weekend. If they are willing to do the extra work and have their home turned upside down, be sure to thank them a lot! They are doing something very special for you.
One more (non-glamorous) thing to plan for is garbage disposal. If you are serving dinner to 100 or more guests in your yard, you will have a larger-than-usual amount of garbage and recycling. Make plans to have extra receptacles, and figure out if your usual disposal service will be able to remove the refuse after the party.
With a little planning, a back yard wedding can be a wonderful way to get married. But be sure to go into it with your eyes open.
Oct 15, 2018 | Day-of Coordinating
Here’s my hard-working wedding kit–with the famous tape right on top!
Sometimes I get to do the funniest things in my job as a wedding planner and coordinator. You never know what the day is going to throw at you or what you will need to solve a problem. That’s why I always have a wide variety of tools and supplies at hand on a wedding day.
At one wedding recently, the bride’s beautiful white dress developed a problem. The wedding party had just returned from taking photos after the ceremony, and they were lining up for introductions into the reception. That was when the bride told me that her dress wasn’t bustling properly and she was afraid she would trip on it.
I took a quick look at the back of her dress, and it was about as bad as anyone could have imagined. The loop that went over the button to create the bustle had torn right out of the very delicate, sheer organza fabric of her overdress and train. There was a definite hole there, and the train was hanging down asymmetrically–and was definitely likely to trip her up if it wasn’t fixed.
Now, I have just enough experience working with fabric to know that if you try to put a needle and thread through a hole in organza, you are just going to end up shredding the fabric further. There is really no point in trying to sew it back together if you can’t patch it first–and we were on too tight a schedule for that. But if you can’t sew it, what can you do??
I took three steps over to my emergency kit and picked up a roll of white fabric tape (known among stage managers as spike tape for its theatrical uses) and walked back to the bride and her torn dress. One piece of half-inch wide tape went through the thread loop and back down into the hole in the dress. A second piece of tape wrapped around the first piece and around the fabric to hold it in place. The thread loop went back over the button and–poof!–the dress was back in one piece.
If you looked really closely, you could see the repair, but I could see that it was good enough for presentation purposes. And, as I said to the bride, if anyone was looking anywhere but at her beautiful, smiling face, they were looking in the wrong place.
Later, the bride’s mother borrowed a needle and thread from me (because, of course, I have those in my kit, as well) to try to make a more formal repair. But she just ended up confirming my conclusion that repairing organza with a needle is pretty much a lost cause without special skills and/or equipment.
I have to say, I felt pretty triumphant at having such a quick fix close to hand. It’s nice to save the day from time to time!
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