Jun 24, 2019 | DIY
If you hire a good planner or coordinator, this should be all you have to think about on your wedding day. Photo by The Still Life Photography.
I’ve written a lot about do-it-yourself weddings lately, and here are my final thoughts on the subject. Question: Should you plan and manage your wedding yourself? Answer: No—and yes.
Most people can do much of the planning themselves. Hiring vendors is not difficult, although finding excellent ones can be if you don’t already know where to look. You might also want to plan the decor yourself so that it reflects your taste. Of course, if you’d rather not handle all the details yourself, by all means, hire a wedding planner. We’re always happy to do the planning part!
The place where a lot of people get stuck in the planning process is scheduling the wedding day and the logistics of making everything happen. It turns out that these are special skills. And so you will likely want to have a professional planner or coordinator on hand. One of my favorite parts of this job is taking a tangled mass of good ideas and turning it into a usable plan. Actually, I really like seeing the smile of relief on my clients’ faces when I do that.
Even if you are able to do the scheduling and logistics yourself, actually managing what happens on your wedding day is another matter. I like to use a theatre metaphor to describe it: You are the star of the show; you can also be the director and the producer. But you need a good stage manager to make sure that you shine.
This might be predictable coming from me, but I have seen enough problems and near-disasters to know that it really does make a difference: Make sure you have someone with practical, hands-on experience managing your wedding day. Don’t try to do it yourself.
Jun 17, 2019 | DIY
After you consider all the options, you just might want to hire a professional DJ for your wedding or event. Photo courtesy of Cage+Aquarium.
After decor (which I talked about last week), the most frequent kind of DIY I see at weddings is music. I have coordinated weddings where all the music was provided by playlist on various electronic devices. At the risk of alienating my musician and DJ friends, I have to say that this is one area where you can sometimes get away with doing it yourself. But there are definitely some big pitfalls to be aware of, if this is your plan.
A professional DJ or band brings to your wedding two very large advantages: a sound system and a Master of Ceremonies. These things can be arranged for otherwise, but by paying professionals you are also obtaining these two important things.
Sound systems can be rented (for a price), but you also need someone to set up and run the sound system. (Please don’t assume that your planner team will do this.) DJs or a band often also bring a sound system that can be used for your ceremony, as well as for background music during cocktail hour and dinner, as well as for dancing. They may also put in some time and effort to move their equipment between ceremony and reception.
There are drawbacks, of course: If you want DIY music, you will have to spend considerable time in advance making play lists. And someone needs to press “play” on the MP3 player at all the right times. The very biggest drawback of DIY music is that the play lists are all made in advance and they can’t respond to the mood on the dance floor the way a DJ can. A good DJ can get people on the dance floor and make sure everyone is having a good time.
You will also need someone to make announcements at your wedding. Typical announcements include: introducing the wedding party; announcing the cake cutting and special dances; introducing those who are making toasts; and making other important announcements at the reception. You might have a friend who is an appropriate choice for MC. But if you have a friend act as MC, it might be important to impress upon her or him the necessity of remaining fairly sober until all the announcements have been made. A tipsy MC is not always the most effective MC.
DIY music is a viable option for your wedding reception. (And don’t overlook another way to do it yourself: If you have musician friends, ask if they can play for the ceremony or the reception.) As with any kind of DIY project, it requires forethought and planning and some extra time to make it happen, and it may have drawbacks and expenses you hadn’t considered. Make sure it is the right thing before you commit to doing it yourself.
Jun 10, 2019 | DIY
If you have the time and the ability, you can go all-out and make a chandelier for your wedding tent, as this bride did.
I’m still thinking about DIY weddings, and about when DIY is a good idea and when it is not. One of the most successful kinds of do-it-yourself wedding planning is in the area of decor.
There are some kinds of decor that are better left to professionals. Things like flowers (see my thoughts on that here) and lighting fall in that category. If you want to hang large objects from a ceiling, I would definitely recommend hiring someone for that, too.
But there are lots and lots of things that are suitable for DIY: table runners, table numbers, card box, place cards, photo props, menus, programs, favors. Especially if you are planning unique decor, it may be easier and cheaper to make it yourself, rather than hunting down the perfect item at craft shops, second-hand stores, rental shops, and the internet.
Of course, it takes extra time–sometimes lots of extra time–and a little skill to do it all yourself. As always, plan carefully and leave yourself enough time. You don’t want to end up like a friend of mine who was frantically hand-writing place cards late on the night before her wedding. Plan to have it all done early and get help if you need it. And don’t feel like you need to do it all yourself. There’s no shame in hiring a professional to do things you can’t.
Jun 3, 2019 | DIY
Here’s another post about DIY weddings. Let’s talk about wedding flowers. Is it a good idea to do your own wedding flowers? Or should you pay a professional to do them for you?
Perhaps because her livelihood is on the line, a florist friend of mine refers to DIY wedding flowers as “f— it up yourself” flowers. And because I don’t want to anger all my florist colleagues, I am going to agree with her, most of the time.
DIY flowers can be perfectly nice!
The reason you hire a professional floral designer is because they have specialized knowledge. It’s true that you can send someone to the farmer’s market on the morning of your wedding to pick up flowers. But will the buds all be open? Florists know how to time the opening of flowers so your wedding flowers look picture-perfect. They also ensure that the flowers stay fresh until they are needed. In addition, they have access to more sources of flowers and so can provide a more interesting look than you can do yourself with whatever is available at a store. And do you really want to be tying bouquets and putting together centerpieces on the morning of your wedding? You’ll probably be busy getting your hair done and having your picture taken. (Be sure to talk to your planner or coordinator about the day’s schedule before you commit to this option!)
But these flowers from May Floral are utterly gorgeous. Photo by Cage + Aquarium.
On the other hand, I have seen DIY flowers that are perfectly nice. It all depends on the look you are going for. If you want a home-made look or a casual feel, your flowers might end up the way you want them if you do them yourself. If you have special training in art, design, or floral arrangement, you’re probably ahead of the curve. But this is one area where I would recommend to most people to hire a professional, especially if the flowers are important to you. Doing it yourself is probably not as easy as the pros make it look.
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