Mar 31, 2014 | wedding planning
Do you need a rehearsal to get to this point? Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
This is always a question that has to be answered when planning a wedding: Will there be a wedding rehearsal? There are arguments on both sides.
Tradition seems to lean toward the necessity of a wedding rehearsal. After all, why would you have a rehearsal dinner if there were no rehearsal, right? As I am a non-traditionalist, on the other hand, I will only say that there are times when a rehearsal makes sense. For example, if you are having a church ceremony, chances are that your officiant will require it. A rehearsal for a complicated ceremony (such as a full Catholic mass) makes the ceremony go much more smoothly.
Similarly, if you have a large wedding party, it is probably a good idea to rehearse at least the processional and the recessional, if not the whole ceremony. A rehearsal, even a brief one, will ensure that every member of the wedding understands her or his duties.
But there are times a rehearsal might not be preferred. If you are planning a small and/or informal wedding, a rehearsal may be unnecessary. I also think that a rehearsal can sometimes take away from something special at the wedding itself. Over-rehearsed ritual can become an empty form.
As I said, there are good arguments on both sides of this question. Will you have a wedding rehearsal? That’s up to you.
Mar 24, 2014 | wedding planning
At this casual wedding, the style carried through everything. Photo by Magical Moments Photography.
When I meet with a couple to help them plan or coordinate their wedding, one of the questions I always ask is, “What style will your wedding be?” I have found that not everyone has an easy answer to this question. Here is why it is important to me:
When I ask about style, what I want to know is, “How do you make decisions about what your wedding and reception will be like?” Also, “Do you have a vision for how your wedding will look or feel or sound?”
Whether your answer to the question of style is, “Formal, elegant, high-class” or, “Casual, laid-back, informal,” the answer gives me a lot of information about your goals and your decision-making process. It allows me to make suggestions that are appropriate for your particular wedding.
Sometimes “style” means “visual style,” as in what sorts of colors and accessories you think are necessary. But “style” can also mean the general feel of the party or it can mean what you think is important to the day. The answer to the question could be, “Our wedding will be a picnic in the woods,” or it could be, “It’s all about fun and games.” To me, the important thing is not the specific answer but, rather, that you have a vision that you are pursuing.
Mar 17, 2014 | Eco-Friendly Events, wedding planning
I hate to bring up a difficult, uncomfortable subject when we’re talking about weddings, but I do think it is better to know all sides of an issue, especially if you are interested in eco-friendly events. I’m talking about the environmental and political problems associated with the commercial jewelry trade.
The issues around jewelry can be tricky. Photo by Ann Oleinik.
Let me be very clear about one thing: I just want to make sure that you have enough information to make an informed choice. I won’t pass judgment on your choice if you are happy with commercial jewelry.
There are environmental issues with gold, as well as political ones. Diamonds and other precious stones, as far as I can tell, have fewer environmental problems, although there are political problems.
Gold mining and refining, according to one informed source, release large amounts of toxins into the environment, including cyanide, arsenic, and mercury. Gold also requires huge amounts of water and electricity to produce, according to the same source. Many who are concerned about the problems associated with gold mining and refining call it “dirty gold” because of its negative environmental impacts.
In addition, gold mining is believed to fuel conflict in places like the Congo and Colombia. While not all of these conflicts make it into the news daily, they are ongoing sources of human rights abuses, death, and destruction.
The diamond trade also fuels conflicts in Africa according to the UN and Amnesty International. While there has been some progress in restricting the trade of illegitimate diamonds that fund wars and abuse, it is still very difficult to ensure that a diamond comes from a conflict-free zone.
Fortunately, more and more jewelers are taking environmental and human rights considerations seriously. It is becoming easier than in the past to find jewelers that carry no-conflict diamonds and clean gold.
If you want gold jewelry, look for a jeweler that uses recycled or reclaimed gold. If they supervise the recycling process themselves, that is even better. As far as I am aware, there is no certification process for recycled gold, so if this is a concern of yours, ask as many questions of the jeweler as necessary to assure yourself that their gold really is recycled.
Another choice for gold or diamond jewelry without additional harm to the environment is to find vintage jewelry. Maybe there is a piece in your family (or your soon-to-be in-laws’ family). If there isn’t anything in your family, antique and vintage stores often have jewelry sections, and you can find some very nice pieces there.
Here's a pair of wooden rings used for a wedding last year. Photo courtesy of christytylerphotography.com.
There are also some jewelry makers who work in wood and make beautiful rings. In Chicago, you can try Simply Wood Rings. There are many options available, all made from reclaimed wood.
There is probably no perfect answer to these troubling issues. The more people are aware of them, though, the closer we can come to solving some of these perplexing problems.
Mar 10, 2014 | vendors
FIG's logo, shamelessly stolen from their website.
As I think I’ve mentioned, I’m a member of the Chicago Green Wedding Alliance. In that capacity, I have had the opportunity to work with FIG Catering, a company that is right at the top of my list of caterers.
The thing that I like best about FIG is their food–which is, of course, one of the most important things anyone is looking for in a caterer. Not only do they make top-quality recipes and serve delicious dishes, they can do this with all organic, sustainable food. Not only is it delicious, it’s good for you and good for the environment.
FIG specializes in small events, hence their name: For Intimate Gatherings. They are happy to work with you on events of up to 150 people.
Justin and Molly, who are the heart of FIG, are terrific people, too. It’s always a pleasure to work with them. So, if you’re looking for a caterer for a not-too-huge event, here’s one to put on your list.
Mar 3, 2014 | Budget Planning, wedding planning
Everyone trusts the vendors when they know they can trust the planner.
If you have looked recently at the page on my website that deals with Money Matters, you might have noticed at the bottom that I have my integrity pledge there. In case you’re not familiar with how this scheme I mention works, let me lay it out for you here.
When I first hung out my (virtual) shingle as an event planner, vendors started getting in touch with me. They wanted me to refer my clients to them, and for the privilege, they were willing to pay me–in hard, cold cash–a percentage of what my clients paid them for their work. I understand that this can be quite a good revenue stream for an event planner, but I am not willing to sell out for the cash. I always insist that the vendor give my client the equivalent discount, instead. It costs the vendor the same amount and it allows me to offer my clients a little bonus.
Taking the “commission” (as they call it) is a problem because I work for the person who is paying me. If I were to take both a fee from a client and a payment from a vendor, then I would have two bosses with conflicting interests. I would lose the ability to help my client stay within their budget, since my own personal interest would be for them to spend more. I also might be tempted to refer clients to the vendor who offers me the largest percentage, rather than the vendor who does the best work or gives the best value for money.
I heard a very telling story from a woman I know who makes and sells eco-friendly event invitations. She told me that she had been taking her wares around to various event planners. She was discussing the commission amount with one planner. The planner pointed to a wall of invitation sample books and told her that those vendors all offered her a much higher commission. She clearly expected that this woman would offer her more. And that is a situation that can lead to bidding wars, which can not be good for the planner’s clients.
When I first started out as a planner, I was pretty sure I would never take these kickbacks from vendors. But the thing that really gave me the resolve came from a very unexpected place. I took a taxi home from the very first wedding I ever planned and coordinated. The cab driver was an older gentleman, and we chatted on the way home. Of course he asked me what I do and where I was coming from. When I told him that I am a wedding planner, the first thing he said was, “You don’t take those payments from the vendors, do you?” I assured him that I do not take them. And I have never been tempted to go back on my word.
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