Mar 31, 2013 | Budget Planning, DIY, wedding planning
If you hire a good planner, this is all you should have to think about on your wedding day. Photo by MWD Photography.
I’ve written a lot about do-it-yourself weddings lately, and here are my final thoughts (probably) on the subject. Should you plan and manage your wedding yourself? Yes–and no.
Most people can do much of the planning themselves. Hiring vendors is not difficult. You will probably also want to plan the decor yourself so that it reflects your taste. Of course, if you’d rather not handle all the details yourself, by all means, hire a wedding planner.
The place where a lot of people get stuck in the planning process is scheduling the wedding day and the logistics of making everything happen. It turns out that these are special skills. And so you will likely want to have a professional planner on hand. One of my favorite parts of this job is taking a tangled mass of good ideas and turning it into a usable plan. Actually, I really like seeing the smile of relief on my clients’ faces when I do that.
Even if you are able to do the scheduling and logistics yourself, actually managing what happens on your wedding day is another matter. I like to use a theatre metaphor to describe it: You are the star of the show; you can also be the director and the producer. But you need a good stage manager to make sure that you shine.
This might be predictable coming from me, but I have seen enough problems and near-disasters to know that it really does make a difference: Make sure you have someone with practical, hands-on experience managing your wedding day. Don’t try to do it yourself.
Mar 25, 2013 | etiquette, wedding planning
Etiquette does not prescribe how much you should spend. Photo by Peter Coombs.
I have another pithy little quote for you from Miss Manners on {Painfully Proper} Weddings by Judith Martin. She is here talking about the misplaced notion that etiquette requires spending huge sums of money on any wedding.
Etiquette was portrayed as the villain–the handmaiden of commercialism, whose insidious ceremonial and emotional arguments always favored the spending of extravagant sums of money. It is made to seem rude to ask prices for commercial services and incorrect to limit wedding expenditures… Miss Manners is outraged. Etiquette does not practice extortion.
I’ve touched on this before, so this is just a reminder: If any wedding vendor tries to induce you to spend more by citing the requirements of etiquette, you can tell them that Miss Manners says that “Etiquette does not practice extortion.” And then maybe find a better vendor.
Mar 18, 2013 | Weddings
I’m so lucky to get these wonderful photos of the weddings I work on. I have the professional photos by Ann and Kam Photography and Cinema for your viewing pleasure. Click on the photo below to see all of them.
Click here to see photos from the State Fair Wedding. Photo by Ann Oleinik.
More?
Mar 11, 2013 | Budget Planning, Eco-Friendly Events, wedding planning
Do you have leftover wedding supplies that someone else can use? I have the solution! Photo by hannahelaine photography (hannahelaine.com).
I have only the sketchiest details so far, but I know about another really interesting event that I think you’re going to want to put on your calendar, whether you are currently planning a wedding, are recently married, or are, yourself, a wedding vendor.
The Chicago Green Wedding Alliance is sponsoring a giant garage sale for wedding items. If you have items that might be useful for someone planning a wedding, you can donate them to the CGWA for the sale on April 21. Not only will a portion of the proceeds be donated to charity, but it’s a highly sustainable, green way to re-use wedding items.
I’ll have more details soon and will post them as they become available. But mark your calendar now.
Mar 4, 2013 | etiquette, wedding planning
Is a champagne toast part of your reception planning? Photo courtesy of Artisan Events.
I recently had the pleasure of reading Miss Manners on {Painfully Proper} Weddings by the ever-entertaining Judith Martin. I imagine I will have a few comments to make about this book. Miss Manners and I don’t see eye to eye on everything but I have the greatest respect for her opinions and expertise.
Miss Manners makes a passing reference to the cash bar in her book. She says, “It is true that the hosts of the wedding reception are responsible for providing refreshment for their guests, a point not to be taken for granted in the day of that abomination called the ‘cash bar.'”
This is an area where I wholeheartedly agree with Miss Manners. If you want to throw a certain kind of party after your wedding but if you also can’t afford that party, it is considered impolite to ask your invited guests to pay any part of the cost. Why? Because the idea of hospitality, at its very core, implies that you give your guests as a gift whatever food, drink, and entertainment are provided.
So, what do you do if funds are short and standards are high? Your options are limited. You are permitted to ask your close family to help fund your wedding, if they are both willing and able. But, of course, “He who pays the piper calls the tune.” If you get help paying, you may have to give up control over some aspects of your wedding reception. Other than that, your other option is to scale back and throw a party within your means. I know that no one wants to hear that advice. But it’s good practice for married life!
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