DIY Weddings: Potlucks

April 16th, 2012

Do-It-Yourself is all the rage.  And there are lots of things you can do yourself for your own wedding (or a friend’s). But I have also heard some DIY ideas that might need a little more thought before implementation.  This is the first post in a series on the beauties and pitfalls of DIY.

This is NOT a potluck, DIY place setting. Photo by Carasco Photography.

This is NOT a potluck, DIY place setting. Photo by Carasco Photography.

I have been to two potluck wedding receptions, and both of them worked out very well.  They were very different from one another and offer some interesting lessons on how to make this idea work.

One was in a church hall with no caterer or serving staff.  The other was in a rented hall that required a certified kitchen staff.

If you have no hired kitchen staff, the question is who will set up the food and–more importantly–who will clean up.  At the first potluck, the bride asked some of her friends (including me) to take charge of scraping and packing the rented dishes at the end of the day.  Fortunately, this couple have a lot of responsible (and sober) friends who cheerfully stayed to help them.  It was also a daytime wedding, meaning no one had to stay until 1:00 a.m. scraping dishes.  They also had friends help set the tables and set up the buffet.

The second potluck had a professional kitchen staff, which increased the cost but meant that the guests were not involved in running the kitchen.  If you are thinking of having a potluck buffet, this might be a better idea, unless you both have a hall that will allow you not to have hired staff and have friends who are sufficiently responsible.

There are other pitfalls to be avoided at a potluck.  The biggest one is not knowing whether you will have enough food, enough good food, or enough variety.  You can overcome this by asking your guests to tell you what they are bringing and making sure the best cooks bring large quantities.  That requires extra organization and extra time on your part.

And there is one more pitfall to a potluck wedding reception:  One of your relatives will be scandalized.  But if you can live with that, if you want an informal reception, and if you can figure out how to do everything that needs to get done, it’s not impossible.   But I would not recommend it for everyone.  Be sure you think it through before you commit to doing it yourself.

Posted in Budget Planning, DIY, Wedding Planning | No Comments »

Cake Rental??

February 28th, 2011
Is it a real cake or is it foam? Only the bride knows!

Is it a real cake or is it foam? Only the bride knows!

Yes, you can rent a wedding cake.  Why would you want to rent a wedding cake?  It’s one way you can save money on your wedding without looking cheap.  Here’s how it works.

You rent a cake from one of the cake rental companies (see below for some ideas).  The “cake” itself is foam but is covered with fondant or frosting in your choice of designs.  Many of these cakes include a compartment for a piece of real cake so the bride and groom can cut a piece together.  The guests are then served pieces from a sheet cake that has been kept in the kitchen.

The advantages of renting a centerpiece fake cake are mostly financial.  Sheet cake is much less expensive than a tiered wedding cake, and cake rental costs a couple of hundred dollars, including shipping, depending on what company you use and whether you use one of their designs or one of your own.

But if you’re having an outdoor wedding or a wedding in a hot location, you might also want to consider renting a cake.  The foam cakes do not slip in the heat and can stand up to the hottest weather and still look beautiful.  I have personally coordinated two weddings where either the cake collapsed in the heat or it almost did.  A foam cake might be a very inexpensive insurance policy if you are concerned about keeping a tiered cake standing on a hot day.

Some of the cake companies even claim that a fake cake is more eco-friendly than a real one.  They claim that since their cakes do not need baking or refrigeration, they save energy.  I would have to counter that by saying that they use additional energy beyond what is used in the cake that is actually eaten, and they also use energy in shipping.  They say that the foam for the cakes is re-used or recycled, but most kinds of foam are not actually recyclable.  But even if this idea is not particularly green, it could still save you money if you’re on a budget.  And if you want it to be as green as possible, find a vendor as close to you as possible so the shipping distance is short.

I have found two companies that rent wedding cakes.  This is not an endorsement of either, as I have not worked with them.  Please use your best judgment and check their references.  Rent the Cake of Your Dreams is in East Aurora, New York.  Cake Rental is in Grandville, Michigan.  I’m sure there are more people providing this service, as well.  A little research will turn them up and then you can have a beautfiul wedding cake without breaking the bank.

Posted in Budget Planning, Eco-Friendly Events, Wedding Planning, Weddings | No Comments »

Re-Run: The Party is Over. Now What?

January 17th, 2011

This was one of the most popular posts I ever wrote.  In case you missed it, here it is again:

What do you do with leftover mini-cakes? Photo by HappyBuddy Photo Art.

What do you do with leftover mini-cakes? Photo by HappyBuddy Photo Art.

One thing that often gets overlooked in party and event planning is what happens after the party is over.  If you are planning a wedding, party, or other large event, now would be a good time to think about what happens when the fun is done.  Beyond the basic logistical question of who is going to transport stuff from one place to another, there are the considerations of what to do with left over items.  Here are my thoughts on several of categories of those items.

Food: If you didn’t run out of food at your party (heaven forfend!), then there will be leftovers.  It would be a shame to throw them out.  In some places, a local food bank can pick up your extra food and distribute it to food pantries and shelters.  (See the Feeding America food bank locator to find a local food bank.)  Some states and municipalities do not allow this practice, though, and not all food banks are set up to handle it, so check with your food bank ahead of time.  And unless you’re a food safety expert, don’t try it on your own.  Even if you can’t distribute your leftovers to hungry strangers, you can probably find some friends and relatives who would be happy to take some of it.  Prepare for this possibility by having appropriate containers available, and instruct your caterer how to distribute extra food.  Whatever you do, talk to your caterer ahead of time!

Flowers and other decorations: The nicest way to take care of flowers and other centerpieces is to donate them to a local hospital or nursing home.  As with donating food, this is both eco-friendly and socially responsible.  Not only do flowers get a second use, but they may also brighten the day of someone who could use a little cheer.  Perhaps you already have a relationship with an institution where you can send your flowers.  At one wedding that I coordinated, they announced at the reception that all the flowers would go to the hospital where a family member had received treatment in his last illness.  It seemed like a most fitting thing to do.

Favors: Extra party favors can be a real problem.  This is one area where you will really need to plan ahead.  For one thing, you will almost definitely have extra favors.  If you plan for one per guest, there will be some guests who don’t take one, or who take one for a household, instead of one per person.  But you don’t want to have too few, either.  When deciding what kind of favor to give your guests, consider how easy the extras will be to get rid of.  If you have a common item that is usable by anyone (like decorated pencils, for instance), then you can give away extras on Freecycle or to an organization that can use them (like your local school).  Food favors are even more difficult to get rid of than catered food.  Novelty items will probably be sitting in the back of your closet for years.  You might need to turn to an organization like Special E in order to find a second use for some of these things. One couple I worked with gave away beeswax candles (tied with ribbons in their wedding colors, of course).  There were plenty remaining at the end of the evening, but I imagine they were perfectly happy to have a supply of such a useful item.

So give some thought now to what happens when the party is over.  You can save yourself some headaches, bring joy to friends and strangers, and keep things out of the landfill with just a little extra effort.

Posted in Budget Planning, Day-of Coordinating, Eco-Friendly Events, Parties and Special Events, Wedding Planning, Weddings | No Comments »

Rerun: Tips on Hiring a Wedding Coordinator

January 3rd, 2011
Let me sweat the details so you don't have to. Courtesy of sprungphoto.com.

Let me sweat the details so you don't have to. Courtesy of sprungphoto.com.

Happy New Year!  I’ve run this one before, but I updated it a little and I hope it is still helpful!

If you have plans to get married this year, you are probably thinking–right about now–about hiring a wedding planner or a day-of wedding coordinator. If you’re getting married this year and are not thinking about any such thing, may I recommend that you do so before the best planners get booked up for the summer and fall seasons?

It’s not too difficult to hire a day-of coordinator. You will actually come up with more choices if you do an internet search for “wedding planner,” rather than “day-of wedding coordinator.” Any wedding planner worth her pay is also a day-of coordinator.

Once you have found a handful of prospects, it’s time to interview them. You can start with an e-mail, of course, but I don’t recommend that you hire anyone until you have met them in person. Sometimes this is impractical, of course, especially if you live in a different city from the one you are planning to marry in. In that case, be sure to have a detailed telephone conversation before signing a contract. Some of the things you may want to consider are: the planner’s experience and expertise; the planner’s personality and how it fits with yours; the kinds of ideas she or he can bring to the table; the fee charged and what you will get for what you pay.

Don’t necessarily think that the lowest price is the best deal. As with any vendor, you get what you pay for. Sometimes the person with the lowest price is the best one for the job, but other times someone with a very low price may not offer as many important services as someone who charges a little more. Get enough information on the services included in the fee so that you can tell the difference. Find out what the price range is by asking several coordinators. You don’t have to hire the most expensive one, but you will probably find one in the middle of the price range who has all the characteristics you want.

Before you hire, get references. Don’t just get names and phone numbers or e-mail addresses. Call those people or e-mail them and ask them questions about their experience with the coordinator. Ask them if they would recommend the person. Ask them if they think they got value for their money. Ask if there were any unresolved problems.

Finally, don’t pay anything until you have a signed contract with the coordinator. (This is actually good advice for hiring any vendor.) The coordinator will probably send you a contract, but don’t assume that this is a “take it or leave it” proposition. All contracts are negotiable. If there is a clause you think needs to be in the contract, ask to have it added. If you don’t like something, ask if it can be removed. You may have to give something in return, but it is always worth a try. Don’t be intimidated by legalese. If there’s anything you don’t understand, ask to have it clarified. And only sign the contract once you are sure you understand everything and agree with it. It takes some work, but it is always worth while to have a good contract in place. It protects both parties.

And once you have hired a wedding coordinator, keep them informed of your decisions. If they ask for information, get it to them as soon as possible. They are looking out for your best interests and need to know what you want and what you are doing so they can take care of all the details while you are busy getting married and enjoying yourself.

Posted in Budget Planning, Day-of Coordinating, Wedding Planning, Weddings | No Comments »

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